I have rewritten this piece in a different format and expanded it's content. |
Lost Love When walking alone along the harbour shore, thinking about your lost love. Looking deep into the sea and seeing the serenity and peace of the calm moonlight water, but also knowing that underneath the shimmering surface there is a turbulent under current, tossing and turning, twisting and stirring the murky depths ready to incarcerate you into a world of loneliness, so you may never surface again. You stand and watch the swell, growing, consuming like the love that once drenched your heart, filling every orifice until you are ready to explode with such a joy and passion, knowing and touching that true love is like the unbearable white heat of molten metal mixed with the cool breeze of the day that brings you comfort and serenity. Then the white horses begin to rise from the depths, there manes like fire, snorting with an uncontrollable rage, unleashing their ferocity and wildness on the sea of tranquility. Roaring and trampling all underfoot, they smash into the breakers of life with such force and destruction, only to melt away back into the sea of compassion. You look and see that your true love has been wrenched from your arms, the love that has entwined your hearts has been smashed and crushed by the anger of the white horses, dragging her back into the sea of emotions from where she once came. You are now like the broken drift wood, taken from the sunken vessel of life, drifting where the sea of emotions takes you, never understanding,but yearning for your true love. As time subsides she becomes a distant memory of the love, warmth and happiness she once gave. (cont) page 2 Your heart slowly grows cold, no emotions or feelings, hardening like rock but so brittle to the touch. The sea grinds and crushes you against other lost souls, weakening the very essence of love from your frame until you become broken like the pebbles on a beach. The sea caries you from shore to shore, discarding your hopes, desires and memories, scattering your dreams on the beach of isolation, hoping that they will never be rekindled. A light flickers as you remember your true love, she's standing on the dock side, ready to board the ship of life. No emotions shown, no looking back, hoping she will find the harbour's where once she found safety and sanctuary, praying that her deep emotions of love will return. You slowly drift without thought or expectation. Abandoning your hearts desire, the love that burned so deeply becomes a memory of the past. You board different ships, traveling from port to port, looking for the new adventures to fulfill the void of emptiness. As you travel the seas another ship comes towards you, your heart is rekindled, because from afar you see your true love standing on the deck looking for her love that once was. You shout and yell to each other with so much joy and happiness, reaching out, straining for that one touch of love that used to be. Your heart beating, pulse racing, fingers touch for a fleeting moment, but again your true love has slipped from your grasp. Your ship docks at the next port, with every emotion alive you race to the dock side, looking so intensely, hoping and dreaming that your true loves vessel will return. As time passes, the passion and desires that once burnt deeply inside slowly subside into a true realization. You are the drift wood, no home, no safe port to harbour from the storms of life. Just isolation in the sea of emotions. (Original workings). Walking slowly along the harbour wall. Circled and entrapped by the solitude of thoughts. Alone, and encompassed in the harsh winds of reality, that blow so deep within my soul. Searching for those answers to the many consuming and conflicting questions that tear deep within my heart and mind. Looking for that reason to allow peace, serenity and Understanding to come back into my anguished and broken heart. Slowly turning peering deep into the calm tranquil water, being mesmerized by its serenity and peace as the moonlight glimmers and flickers gently on the shimmering rolling surface. The swell grows, it entices and consumes just like the love that once drenched my heart, filling every orifice of my being to the point of exploding with pure ecstasy. Releasing a joy and passion of touching and knowing that true love. Being liken to-an unbearable white heat mixed with the cool breeze of the day, bringing comfort and serenity. Looking deeper, I see the secret hidden turbulence of the under current, ready to devour and swallow, dragging me down into the deep and murky depths, tossing and twisting my soul to incarcerate me into a world of loneliness. As the waters become petulant, rippling and swirling.From the depths rise the white horses, Manes like fire, snorting with an uncontrollable rage as they release their fury, ferocity and wildness on the sea of tranquility. Roaring with an unquenchable thirst they trample, destroy and devastate all underfoot, then smash into the breakers of life with such force only to melt back into the sea of compassion. From their devastation, I see my true love has been wrenched from my arms. A love that had entwined my heart, soul, mind and thoughts. Just smashed and crushed through the power of destruction. Leaving me like broken drift wood wrenched from the sunken vessel of life, drifting amorously in a world of confusion never understanding but still yearning for my love. Slowly as time subsides my thoughts and passions ebb and become like distant memories. The deep feelings of love, warmth, happiness and security she once offered and gave me begin to fade away into a fog of time. My heart slowly grows colder and emotionless, removing any expectations of life and love. Hardening like a rock with no compassion yet so brittle and fragile to the touch. The sea slowly grinds at the very essence of life smashing my frame against other lost souls, weakening and crushing until I become like a pebble on the beach. Lying there isolated and desolate the sea picks me up time and time again carrying me from shore to shore, casting my dreams, hopes and aspirations on to the islands of despair. From afar I see a light flicking and a glowing warmth returns to my heart as I remember and see my once true love standing and waiting in anticipation to board the ship of life. I look and see her demure has changed, no emotions, no anticipation, no looking back. Only a hope that she can find the safe harbour's where she once found the safety and sanctuary of life, and to pray for the return of the deep emotional love that she once knew. With a heart reinvigorated and a soul so dry and parched I board different ships and travel from port to port searching for new adventures that will rejuvenate my love, desires and hope, and vanquish the void of emptiness from my life. Traveling the lonely oceans searching and scouring for those lost desires, I see a ship approaching. My heart flickers and stirs with the emotions and desires once forgotten, saturating the darkness with such light. From afar, I see the silhouette of my true love standing upon the ships deck, surveying the waters for the love that once was. With realization I gesture, we yell and shout to each other. There is such an uncontrollable passion in my heart as I reach out straining for that one touch of true love. For a fleeting moment our finger tips touch, then once again she is snatched from my grasp. When docking at the next port I race to the key side with my heart burning so intensely, hoping and praying that my true loves vessel will return. But as time passes by the feelings and desires begin to subside into a true realization. That I am that piece of drift wood or pebble on the beach. With no safe port to harbour or weather the storms of life. Just isolation in the sea of emotions |