Mistakes Forgiven

                  Have you ever made a mistake so big that you could never forgive yourself even though the ones that you hurt the most forgave you? I will never forget the worst possible mistake I ever made, it was last year I had just recently discovered that I liked girls. I was scared to death at what my friends and family would think about it if they found out this good little "Christian" girl liked women and wanted to date women. I got to the point where I didn't care what people thought so I just got on a free dating site got a lot of  "Meet Mes" and E-mails from girls, attractive girls too, but I got one e-mail that stood out in my mind we started talking and then we started calling each other then we became friends on Facebook, then I asked Erin to be my girlfriend and she said yes well it was a while before we actually met, I kept my profile on the dating site and kept e-mailing people but not intending on dating them or even meeting them until a little bit later I got this e-mail from this girl name Karen there was something about her profile that stood out well we started e-mailing each other, then texting, calling, and friends on Facebook, I knew in the back of my mind that cheating on Erin and Karen was the wrong thing to do but I kept on doing it telling both of them "I love you" because I did, I have to be honest, I fell madly in love with the both of them but I knew deep down that cheating on them was wrong but I kept on doing it because I didn't want to lose neither one of them.



          We got to the point where we even had songs, with Erin and I it was Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden and with Karen and I it was Smile by Uncle Kracker, I listened to both of those songs all the time, knowing what I was doing was wrong, I was praying to God I would not get caught because both girls was so special to me and so beautiful and sweet. I only got to see Erin twice while we were dating didn't get to see Karen any but talked to both of them several times a day via phone calls or texts, well I moved to Tennessee in November after Thanksgiving continued dating both girls for awhile up until I told Erin that I was moving there to get a job, that's where mine and her relationship ended first but we still remained friends and continued to talk over the phone, Karen and I were still together and everything was good, Erin and I got back together at some point but this is where it went to hell two weeks after Erin and I got back together I received a call from Erin saying we needed to talk so I went in my room and shut the  door because it sounded important and I didn't want Matt or Trinity to hear what was going on, so Erin said she had met Karen and right when she said that I knew I had been caught and i knew I was fixing to lose one or both of them so I done everything in my power to deny it but it didn't work then I got a call from Karen but I knew what it was about so I ignored it and let it go to voice mail and then I checked it and she said we needed to talk and I can't remember if I called her back or what but I talked to her and again done everything I could to deny it but it didn't work, so automatically I lost Karen, because i chose Erin but Karen and I remained friends and we still talked Erin and I remained together for a few days then I realized I wanted Karen so I tried to get Karen back but she had to think on it because I had hurt her and I understood that. Erin Karen and I were all still friends, one day while I was in Tennessee I was having a fantastic day everything was going good, then I got a call from Erin saying that her and Karen were now a couple at first I was mad at the both of them probably Erin more than Karen because she knew how I felt about her but at the same time so did Karen, I was so mad at the both of them that I did not want to speak to them because I had been so hurt, they kept on texting me and calling me and I kept talking to them and I realized that I hurt the both of them and that I deserved this. It took me a couple of days to accept the fact that they were happy with each other and that having them as friends is better then not having them in my life at all so I accepted the fact that they were a couple and we all are now best friends, they are the best friends I have ever had and I never want to lose that friendship, they are such good friends that they came all the way from Trinity, NC to Morristown, TN to get me and take me back to North Carolina, they have helped me in so many ways that it is impossible to put them in to words, I love them both they believe in me and I believe in them, I am very protective over them and if anyone hurts them I will hurt the ones that are responsible. I still hate myself to this day for doing that to them and not coming clean to begin with but they have forgiven me and they are so happy with each other and they are so cute together and I never want to see them two end, their friendship means the world to me, love ya Karen and Erin.