A Loss of Innocence

I was scared walking down that long dark road, even if i wasn't alone. I was still terrified of the dark at age 14. Evil existed in my world and I believed in the "boogie man", he could be lurking anywhere in the dark forest that lined both sides of the road.Little did I know then, I was going to meet my very own boogie man soon enough. But even with my fears I talked two of my friends from the group home to run away with me. I  had a knack for convincing the other kids where i lived that running away would finally allow us to be free to do whatever we wanted, and as a teenager that is all i ever wanted. Truth be told it was scary and tiresome trying to find a place to sleep and finding food to eat.

Every noise in the woods terrified me, my heart would beat so hard i could hear it in my ears. Cars passed us and we would stick out our thumbs out in our feeble attempts at hitch-hiking. Of course there was always the fear the one car that would pick us up would contain the staff from the group home, but even that didn't stop us. Eventually however, a couple stopped and picked us up. They asked where we were from and where we were going. They had heard of the group home we ran away from and stated that they had picked up kids that ran away from there before. At that age we didn't see the red flags in that, we were happy to not be walking any longer.

The couple brought us to a trailer where a couple of them lived I assumed.We were offered marijuana and alcohol and a place to crash. We took them up on their offer. I was quite taken with the man that lived there, I believe he was called Tom. Tall, blonde, handsome, and a lot older . He was 21. Looking back on it all now I realize this man was a predator. However at age 14, being a runaway, and under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I was enamored by him. Many of the evenings events have been forgotten over the years, but when the partying had reached its peak my friend and I found ourselves in the bed with Tom. I was a virgin. I believe my friend was also.

At age 14 i lost my virginity to a 21 year old man! When he was done with me he rolled over and proceeded to have sex with my friend. This back and forth session happened throughout the night. I remember cleaning the blood off me wondering if I had started my menstrual cycle or if it was from my first time with a man. Growing up in the State system I often learned things through trial and error, as there were no examples in a home life to follow. The next day I remember thinking foolishly that this guy was now my boyfriend. Foolish thoughts of a very foolish 14 year old. Instead of him being my "Prince Charming" I found out that day that Tom had a fiance'. Also later that day we were discovered in that same trailer by the local police and returned to the group home from which we had run away from only days before. I had a phone number though, I tried to call a few times after I got picked up. Tom never answered. Years later it dawned on me, I lost my innocence to a predator. I consider myself very lucky that my story didn't end worse than what it had. I ended up in a drug treatment center with a new "prince Charming" in my sights.