Mary

      The twitches that signaled her return to life came suddenly, as suddenly as she’d stopped breathing some hours before.  Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing dead eyes.  I tried to remember them as they were, a brilliant blue like the summer sky.  The way they sparkled when she laughed and flashed when she was angry.  She moaned, joining in with the rest of them waiting for me outside the door.  I tried to block out the sound by thinking of her voice, sweet yet strong.  My baby sister was only 17.  She was my sunshine, and it was only natural that when the world fell apart I’d protect her. I’d promised her I’d keep her safe, even when our parents were ripped apart by the undead, even when everyone we’d ever known died horribly in this new, sick world.  I failed.

      It was supposed to be an easy supply run, in and out before they even noticed us.  The day before, we’d discovered a little gas station on the outskirts of town that hadn’t been completely looted yet, so we set out that morning feeling optimistic. She stood guard by the door while I went inside.  The smell of rot was strong in the store, but I ignored it.  I saw the body on the floor with his brains blown out, and figured he was the source.  I should have known better.  We’d survived through the apocalypse for two months, so I should have known to check for the dead before I started scavenging food.  I was just so hungry.  I hadn’t eaten in more than two days, opting instead to give most of my share to Mary.  She was already weak, and I was afraid she might die if she didn’t eat.  I grabbed a protein bar and ripped into it, swallowing greedily.
      “Dude, come here, there’s so much food.”  She walked up to the door, rifle resting comfortably in her arms.  I took in her gaunt face and her emaciated body.  “I’ll take watch,” I said, “just eat a little and then we’ll take as much as we can back to camp.”  She smiled sweetly, “Ok, Jay.”  I gently took the rifle from her and walked back outside.  There were a few of the dead in the town, but they hadn’t taken notice of us yet.  I settled into a comfortable but alert position, trying to decide what our next move should be.  I was completely lost in thought when the screaming started from inside the store.

      “MARY!” I shouted. I jumped up and ran back inside as fast as I could.  My heart froze at the gruesome scene laid out in front of me.  The undead monster at Mary’s feet was missing both its legs. A trail of decaying flesh and blood clearly showed where it had dragged itself out from behind the registers.  Mary lay on the ground, kicking and screaming, trying desperately to pull herself away from the creature.  As I watched in horror, it sank its rotting teeth into Mary’s calf. Her screams became louder, more shrill, as the thing pulled back its head, exposing the muscle and sinew of Mary’s leg.  Time slowed to a crawl as I pulled up my rifle and took the thing in the eye. By then it was much too late.  She squirmed on the floor, trying to stem the flow of blood from her leg as tears flowed freely over her cheeks.  I rushed over, ripping a large piece of fabric from the bottom of my shirt and tied it tightly above the wound, right under her knee.  I had no idea if that was proper placement for a tourniquet, but I didn’t have time to worry.  I then tore off pieces of her shirt to put directly over the bite, praying it’d be enough to stop the bleeding.
      “Shh baby it’ll be ok, we’re gonna get out of here.”  I whispered it to her over and over again. “It’ll be ok, baby, it’ll be ok.” I started to pick her up when I heard the knocking from the front of the store.  All the commotion had attracted the undead in the area, and now they stood on the other side of the glass, slapping their hands against it and moaning. “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. I picked Mary up gently and headed for the back of the store.  There weren’t a lot of choices, so I shifted her in my arms and pulled the door to the bathroom open.  I laid Mary on the floor against the wall, then skittered back out to grab the rifle.  I saw the glass start to crack, and ran back to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it as fast as I could. When I turned around, my stomach dropped.  The blood had already leaked through the bandage and was forming a puddle on the floor. Mary slumped against the wall, just barely conscious.
      “Oh no. No no no no no.” I rushed over, disposing of the rifle and pressing against the wound with all I had. “Mary? Mary, talk to me kiddo. I need you to stay awake.”

      “I’m sorry Jay, I’m just so tired.” Her voice was small and raspy.  Tears rolled down my face and hit my hands as I pressed against the bite, willing it to stop bleeding. She looked at me. “Don’t cry, love.  I know you did your best.  Maybe this is better.  I’ll see mom and dad again.  It’s going to be ok...” She trailed off, smiling slightly. “Love you,” she sighed, and her eyes closed.

      “Mary? MARY! Oh God Mary no! Don’t do this, don’t leave me here!” I screamed and sobbed, all my rage and pain flowing through me as I heard the glass outside give way.  I cried for what seemed like hours, sitting alone in the bathroom next to her corpse as the undead beat on the door.  Eventually no more tears would come, and I just sat there, watching as her body cooled. I stared at my hands, covered in her blood.  I was out of options. The sand had run out, and there would be no daring escape this time.

      I whispered to her as her twitching became less erratic and she struggled to sit up. “I’m so sorry Mary, this is all my fault.  But don’t worry, I’m going to make it better.” Her pale orbs locked on me, and she started pulling herself in my direction.  I wondered if there was anything of my sister left in there as I slowly pulled a knife out of my boot.  I thought even if there was, she probably didn’t want to be a monster.  She crawled towards me, dragging her ruined leg behind her. When she was just within reach, I pulled her against me, her back to my front, carefully avoiding her mouth as I wrapped my arm around her throat in a choke hold.  She felt so small, and I was reminded that I hadn’t been able to feed her properly. I almost gagged on my guilt, on everything I’d failed to do.  I was crying again.
      “I’m so sorry kiddo. I love you.” I plunged the knife into the soft spot on the back of her skull and she slumped against me.  Thick, blackish goo flowed slowly onto my clothes and mixed with the long dried blood on my hands.  I laid her out carefully on the floor, tears blurring my vision until I couldn’t see anymore, and I knew it was time.  I considered the rifle on the floor, but it was much too messy.  I crawled over to the toilet, washing the blade as thoroughly as I could.  The thought of turning revolted me, so I had to be careful.  I sat down next to her, staring at her pretty face, looking into her sightless eyes. I never looked away as I slid the blade down my wrist. I even smiled as freedom approached.

Outside, the dead moaned and pounded on the door.