I feel nothing. I feel nothing.

I gasp in... Nothing
He gets up, looks at me.
then leaves, he loves me so he said... Maybe
But I cannot back.
I feel nothing
I feel nothing.

Images flash in front of me
shells, loving each other in special ways
But with a camera...
They all said (freak)
Because I do not feel. Anything... Ever.
Tradition over addiction.
I should feel shame.
Sickness.
Condemnation.
Alone.
But.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.

She was gagging for it
went to the clubs and pubs, the holes of 'life'
Felt nothing, hoping for the sound of staic in her soft being. But felt nothing
She tried again
And again
And again
And again.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.

she feels it
Pain through bad decisions, un-love through
love. Used for desperate people for escape
through her.
But sickly spit chokes her.
Desperate
But not so
But desperate.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.

I saw him. Frightened me it did.
He wants me.
I see it in the black empty pit in his eyes.
Do I want him.

No.
It is out of the question, it simply repulses me
the idea.
Not of love
Of the couple that disappears over and over again.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.

I live alone
Treehouse in the forest
me... Just me, and the world I have created... Anything happens there
Life. Death. Beauty in the laughing child on the grassy green field.
Just me.

They fear my aloneness
I crave it the beauty of solitude.
I can just wait, watch the world drift past
Alive just for pleasure and cheap thrills
No love
They feel nothing.
They feel nothing.

The gas burner hisses, frying the fish (so alive at one point)
Just food for servival now.
But i'm glad and thankful for it. No-one else is...
All just for pleasure.

I once called them. Everyone. I didn't miss
one
not one.
No one responded
But now.
I'm glad
To just wait.
I'll live with just one one day.
I will feel something
I will feel something...












Within my pathetic shell of a being. I can say amen to that.
Amen.