The Reunion

It all started when I met Stan in 1991. I am very family oriented, but he rarely spoke of his. He didn't know where his father Jerry, brother Jim or half-brother Ed were, or if they were even living. His parents were divorced when he and Jim were very young. Their mother got custody and she moved all over so their father wouldn't find them. She told them he knew exactly where they were, but didn't care. Stan of course believed what his mother told him and hated his father because of that. He hadn't seen or talked to his father since 1973, or his brothers since their mother's funeral in 1987. When we were planning our wedding in 1999, I offered to pay for one of those organizations that searched for people. They were all over the talk shows in the 90's. People has looked for loved ones for years, and these organizations sometimes found the people in a matter of hours. He turned down my offer because he wanted nothing to do with his family. He didn't know of any living family, so he figured he had none.

In 2001, our son David was born. When I would take him for his checkups, I would email my family and friends to let him know his progress. At the beginning of December 2001, I took him for his 5 month check up. As I was preparing to write an email updating everybody, I saw an email from someone looking for Stan. They had given his full name in the subject line. I opened it and it was from a girl named Jenny in Michigan. She was the great-niece of Stan's father and she had constant contact with him for as long as she could remember. She told of the wonderful things he had done for her and how she adored him. She said he was so sad that he had no contact with Stan and very little with Jim, who he'd found the previous year. Their relationship was strained, as he also believed what their mother had told them. Jerry wanted nothing more than to get together with them and talk to them to straighten things out.

He bought a computer and Jenny hooked it up for him and got him started. The first thing he asked her was, "How do I find someone on this thing?" She knew there was only one thing to do...try to find Stan herself. This would be her way to pay back her beloved Uncle Jerry for all the wonderful things he'd done for her over the years. The rumor was (and it was correct) was that Stan was in PA. So, she started there. Here's where fate stepped in. I only list myself by my initals and last name, never my entire first name. So, I list myself as D. S. Loyer. In Jenny's search, she only entered S. Loyer in PA and found...ME!  Remember the fate I told you about?  Well, I was the ONLY person she wrote to! Of all the Loyer's in PA, she picked ME and got the right one!!  She listed names and dates that only family would know and she also gave her phone number, hoping to receive a call. While I wrote her back, I told Stan to call her. He did and they talked for a few minutes. He asked her names, dates, events and she had an answer for every question. He still wasn't sure, so I told him to ask Jenny what his mother's maiden name was. Surely a cousin would know that. So he asked her and without missing a beat, she said, "DeCamillis." That is NOT a name you pull out of the air. She had given him the correct answer and he sank to the floor, crying. He had finally found his family. I emailed Jenny pictures of our wedding and of David for her to pass around. She said if it was ok, she would give her mother (Stan's first cousin Rosie) our phone number and she would call us. He said yes and 10 minutes later our phone rang. Yup, it was Rosie. They talked for over an hour and Rosie told him that his father never stopped looking for him and loved him very much. She lived 45 minutes from Stan's Dad, so as a Christmas surprise, the next day she would print all the emails and pictures, put them in a photo album and she, Jenny and Rosie's Mom Alice (she was my father-in-law's sister) would make the trip to Toledo OH and take the album to him. They wanted to tell him in person that they had found Stan.

So, the next day, they all piled in the car and drove to my father-in-law's house. They came in and placed the album - wrapped in Christmas paper - in his lap. He opened it and remarked that he needed a new photo album. They told him to open it up. He did and the first page was Stan's and my wedding photo. He looked at it and then looked at the 3 women who already had tears in their eyes. He said that it was very pretty, but who was it?  Alice told him, "Jerry, look at those eyes. Don't you know those eyes?" Stan and Jim both look like Jerry and they both have his eyes. He looked at the picture again and then looked back at the women who were now crying. He was silent for a minute then Rosie was finally able to say that was Stan and she knew exactly where he was and that she had talked to both he and I.  My father-in-law completely melted and began sobbing. After several minutes, they told him to turn the page. There was a picture of a baby. Yes, they told him, that's your grandson. My father-in-law's middle name is Joseph. Stan's middle name is also Joseph and when we were pregnant with David, Stan said he would like a boy named after him, but didn't like his first name. You see where this is going, don't you? My father-in-law asked the baby's name. Rosie told him...David JOSEPH. More tears. He finally got himself composed and called all his family and friends to tell them they had found Stan!!  Family began coming over, congratulating him, wanting to see the pictures and sharing happy tears. Later that day, we got a phone call. It was Stan's Dad!!  Stan sobbed as they talked for over 2 hours. Then, Dad (yes, I call him Dad!!) asked to talk to me. He welcomed me to the family and wanted to know everything about me. He was one of the sweetest, nicest men I had ever talked to.

We had plans for Christmas, but not New Years, so we started calling and emailing back and forth making plans to go visit Dad in Ohio for New Years. We left Friday afternoon before New Year's and drove 9 hours straight through to Jenny's house in southern Michigan. We stayed the night with her and the next day, we drove to Dad's place. Stan went in the house first and he and his Dad embraced each other, both sobbing with joy. I came in behind holding David.

Then Dad wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug. Then he saw 6-month old David. He took him and showed him around to everybody, announcing he was holding his grandson, David JOSEPH, with a definite emphasis on the middle name!  I was so nervous to meet everybody, but they all welcomed me with open arms and almost everybody brought food and lots of them brought gifts for David. It was almost overwhelming.

New Year's Eve 2001 and I'm in Dad's kitchen talking to Rosie. It's the first time the two of us have had a moment to get to know each other. She doesn't know anything about me, so she starts asking me all sorts of questions...where am I from?...do I have any siblings?...are my parents still living...where are they from?  I answer all her questions and I tell her that my Mom is from Virginia. She asks, "What part of VA?" I tell her, "The western part, right on the Kentucky border." Her eyes get big and she excitedly asks, "What town?"

"A little, tiny town you have never heard of", I tell her. She immediately says, "Try me!" I shrug and say, "Ok, she's from Grundy." She gets this HUGE smile on her face, turns and YELLS for her husband..."AAAAAALLEN!!!!!" He comes running in, asking what's wrong. Rosie looks at me and says, "Tell Allen where your Mom is from." I'm not exactly sure what's going on, so I tell him, "Mom's from Grundy." Rosie is so excited, she's jumping up and down like a child. Allen looks at me, gets this HUGE smile on his face and says, "You're kidding...I'M from Grundy!" I let out a shreak that rattled the windows and startled more than a couple people. Stan came running in the kitchen thinking something terrible had happened. He asked what was wrong and I told him nothing, just that Allen is from Grundy. Stan was not impressed. I reminded him that my Mom is also from Grundy. Still not impressed. I tell him that there are only 1,000 people presently in Grundy and now I have relatives on both sides from there!

We had an amazing visit and went out again in 2004 to reunite with Stan's brother Jim and half-brother Ed. It was like they were never apart. Acting like typical brothers...teasing each other, jokingly hitting each other, and sharing long over due memories. We talk on the phone often and we all get along great!

I don't know how we can ever thank Jenny enough for taking the chance and writing a single email in hopes of reuniting a father with his long lost son. We are forever indebted to her!  Thank you just doesn't seem enough, but until a word is created to accurately tell her how we feel, it will have to do.