Silent love

Pain sears through my head. I keep my eyes clenched shut. I'm not sure if I want to open them. My head is resting on something cold and thick, I can feel the metal against my bare skin, it sends shivers like electricity down my spine and makes my arms and legs shake. The breeze tells me that I'm outside, it's not cold, just windy. I wonder if I'm dreaming, I attempt to get up, my head is free, but my arms and legs are not. They confirm my dreamless state. I try to remember what happened before this, but I can't remember much. In fact I can't remember anything, I only assume that I was knocked out by a sharp blow to the skull due to the screaming pain sensation originating from the back of my head and ricocheting through my skull. I hear muffles, they sound like they're coming from besides me. Is someone else here? I carefully rest my head back and turn it to the right, in the direction of the sound. The muffles sound distinctly like my boyfriend when he's sleeping, but it can't be, because we're outside and my legs and arms are bound! Unless my boyfriend has recently become obsessed with S&M I see no other explanation other than I'm experiencing a highly realistic dream. I laugh at my imagination. I open my eyes, I see a person, my eyes adjust, I see my boyfriend. 

I remove my gaze from my still sleeping boyfriend and look around wearily. The cold head rest is in fact metal, it reaches up to my neck, meaning my head dangles loosely on the other side. I see nothing else but pebbles, dirt and a dense forest of withered skeletal trees behind me, almost naked of leaves. Above me, the sun burns my face and I'm forced to keep my eyes closed. I lift my head and look at where the rest of my body is lying, I see vertical planks of wood set out at regular intervals with stones in-between them. I see another metal bar at the other end where my feat are which runs off in each direction, all the way to the visible horizon. That's funny, I think. This looks like a train track.

Not sure exactly what to think, the panic starts to sink in, I wiggle my bound arms and legs, but the ropes which constrict them are too tight. I feel like screaming, but wonder whether the person who put me here expects me to be dead. Screaming would signal that I'm alive, what would happen then? I clench my teeth and suppress my screams, my fists clenched. I turn my face to meet my boyfriends. Should I wake him? If we are on a train track, then is waking him the kindest thing to do? Panic, selflessness, anger rush through my veins and I feel the emotions, thick, cruel emotions wage war in my head. This makes me want to scream even more. I lift my head, I open my mouth and my whole body tenses as I scream at the top of my lungs. But I don't hear anything. What is happening?

Am I deaf? No, I can hear the wind, the rustling leaves on the withering trees. Why can't I scream, I try again, this time straining my neck as I fight to sit up, my veins and muscles in my bare arms tighten as my neck soars upwards, my face burning a blush red and I scream again, but still nothing. I can't scream. I try to shout for help, but the same again. I can't speak. I don't know why I'm here, I don't know why I'm tied up, I don't know how I got here, I don't know why I can't scream, I suddenly feel a strong want for a train to slice through me so that this can end. I try to calm down.The anger dies. I breathe. Deep, meaningful breaths. In through the mouth, out through the nose. I try to slow my heart rate. Then, my boyfriend wakes up.

He takes a look around, straining himself to get as much visual information as possible. He turns his head and looks at me. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Tears start streaming down my face when I lock my gaze with him and I hate myself for it because I want my last few minutes with my boyfriend to not be obscured by terror. I close my eyes and let out silent sobs. I re-open them and look at him through wet eyes, his eyes confirm that he is not responsible for this. We look at each other. We stay this way. I rub the tip of my nose against his nose, he leans in closer, our noses touching each others faces and our mouths lock. We kiss, deeply. When we unlock I keep my face where it is, we breath the same air. My muscles relax. He doesn't look afraid, and now neither am I. Then I hear the horn, the screech of metal against metal, the wind being forced out of the way and the sound reverberating through our bodies. We look at each other, he smiles. I smile.