SIDDHU

SIDDHU





The dancing girls moved with the rhythm. Arms in the air, bodies gyrating with the music. They seemed to be in a trance. Feet moving in unison. It almost seemed like they were one creature. Their jewelary creating music of its own. Clink, clank! Clink, clank! He surveyed them from left to right, top to bottom. He noticed that one had a huge jewel pierced in her navel. It looked like an emerald. As she moved her belly, the jewel oscillated and every time let out a ray of light. It was a warm night, so her skin glistened with perspiration. They must be tired, he thought. The girl noticed their lord and master seemed vaguely interested in her mid riff. Realizing this she danced out of line closer to the steps leading to where he was sitting. She sat down on her knees and folded her arms behind her neck, all the while moving her waist feverishly, the jewel sparkling in his eyes, till he feared that she might break her pelvic tendons. But since he was never taught to worry about someone else’s pain, it didn’t matter.



The three guards smiled, as did Kailash, the guardian. So tonight Soma will have the honour to give pleasure to the prince. Mohan, the dance master was pleased that his star pupil had won the royal heart. All other girls were jealous but they had no choice. They danced around Soma, while she moved her hips round and round. The music continued….



“Enough.”

The prince stood up abruptly. The musicians stopped. The dancing girls stopped.

“Enough for tonight.”

He descended the steps. Everyone moved away from him, making sure not to show him their backs.

“Should I bring Soma to the sleeping quarters, your highness?” Kailash inquired.

“Enough for tonight I said.”

He raised his palm to Kailash’s face, meaning he wanted no more of all this. Kailash was puzzled. Initially when Prince Siddharth had wished for the music and dance to cease, Kailash thought maybe the Prince desired pleasure, elsewhere not, for the eyes and the ears. But this did not seem to be so. Maybe the Prince wanted some time with his wife, Princess Yashodhra. But this was unlike him. Usually after a dancing performance, he would choose the woman who pleased him the most to accompany him to his sleeping quarters. Worried, Kailash tried to follow him as, he walked briskly towards the gallery, but the Prince stopped him.

“Kailash. Stay here. I want to be alone.”

“Yes, your highness,” Kailash pressed the palms of his hands to each other and bowed his head.

“Very well, your highness.”

Siddharth walked towards his wife’s room, agitated. Women guards stood at the door. They moved back and gave way as soon as he approached to enter.

Yashodhra was sleeping. Her long hair flowing from the side of the bed. Her beautiful face, made more beautiful by the moonlight creeping in from the windows. Rahula, their son, was sleeping next to her.

Siddharth smiled. They looked so like each other. The same sharp features, the same sandalwood complexion. He remembered their wedding day. The most lavish wedding Lumbini had ever witnessed. A wedding worthy of the son of the King of Sakhyas, Sudhodana. He thought of their first night together. He remembered when she gave birth to Rahula. The star of everyone’s eyes. He bent down and kissed both of them, one by one, softly on their foreheads. Then he took a deep breath and moved back slowly. As he came out of the room, he seemed agitated again. Kailash could see that. He had been following the prince. Initially he was slightly worried, but now he was really concerned as he saw the Prince come out of his wife’s chambers. Kailash had no idea what was going on. But Siddharth knew. He knew exactly what was going on.

Nothing was making any sense tonight, and he did not know why. The lavish feast he had consumed earlier seemed tasteless. The wine he had drunk failed to intoxicate him. The musicians especially commissioned to entertain did not impress him. The dancing girls, the emerald in Soma’s belly failed to arouse him. His wife’s serene face and familiar scent did not soothe him. Even his son’s angelic face was unable to bring any peace to his heart.

He walked out to breathe some fresh air on the expansive terrace. The majestic Himalayas stood before him. As he saw the moonlight illuminating the snow, he felt so small. True, he was a Prince who lived in a huge palace, had every pleasure of life within his reach. He was young, handsome, healthy yet he felt unfulfilled. Guards to protect him, but he felt unsafe. Clearly something was missing from this picture. But what? Every color of the universe graced this tapestry, or did it?

What is wrong with you Siddharth, he asked himself? What do you need? What does anyone who has everything in the world need?

“Your Highness..!”

Siddharth turned around to see who dared to disturb him, while he had forbidden anyone to do so this night. It was Channa.

“Oh it’s you Channa. Are you back from your journey already?”

Channa was a member of the army of guardians, which served at the palace and an only favorite of the prince. He was as old as the king and had seen the prince being born and had been with him ever since.

“Yes Sire. I see you are not asleep yet.”

“No Channa. I am not sleepy so I came here to look at the mountains. Is it true that gods live there on the top of the mountains?”

“That is what we have been told since generations, Sire. Am I disturbing you?”

“No, no Channa. In fact I am happy that you came. I was feeling a bit, a bit… lonely.”

Channa raised an eyebrow. Maybe the time had come.

“Lonely you say?”

“Yes, lonely. Channa nothing is making me happy tonight. I have had this feeling since a few weeks now, but tonight it is especially unbearable. I am worried, if nothing can make me happy, where will I have to go to be happy?”

“You gave the answer yourself, your highness,” Channa smiled.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“You just said yourself that ‘nothing’ can make you happy. So this is what you need then.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You are making no sense Channa.”

“I will eventually. You’ll see.”

Siddharth got up.

“Enough for tonight. I am going inside.”

“Whatever you desire, Sire.”

Channa moved out of the way, his head bent in respect. He saw the prince walking away. The Prince. Little Siddhu, who he had fed with his own hands. He knew this day would come. He had been waiting for this day. He too slowly walked inside only to be dragged to a corner. It was Kailash with two guards.

They forced him into Kailash’s room and threw Channa on the floor. Kailash’s face was red with fury.

“Don’t think I am not on to you, you stupid old man,” he addressed Channa.

“I am warning you. If I see you near the prince filling his head with any nonsense ever again, you shall not see the next morning.”

“Whatever do you mean Kailash? What nonsense?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t be the trouble maker. You will get us all killed. What if the king finds out? He will chop off your head. Though I will be happy to see that day, but I just don’t want to disturb the balance.”

Channa had by now composed himself and was standing.

“Kailash. You are just a servant like me. Don’t try to be the king. If he can chop off my head, he can chop off yours. If he finds out, that you have been threatening the Prince’s favorite guardian.”

Kailash gulped and rubbed his neck. Channa had a point there. A very sharp one.

“All right. You can go. Just don’t say later that I didn’t warn you. Guards! Throw out this worm.”

“Don’t bother. I can walk myself.”

Channa exited.

Kailash rubbed his chin. He had to be alert all the time. He could sense danger. The prince had to be shielded from the outside world at all costs.

Channa did not sleep at all. As he lay on the straw mat, he kept staring at the roof and thinking of how long he had waited for this day. He remembered the day the prince was born. Queen Maya was in labor for two days. The mid wives feared for the infant’s life, and worse still, the queen’s. There were special prayers held in temples all over Lumbini. There scent of incense reached the palace, along with the prayers. Finally the queen gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy. The shankh (conch shell) was blown. The good news spread far and wide. There were celebrations in Lumbini and the neighboring villages. Congratulations poured in from all four corners. The father and king, beamed with happiness and pride. Food and clothing was distributed. It were the king’s orders that no person may go to sleep hungry that night. Food was placed even in the jungle so that all creatures could take part in the celebration to mark the birth of Prince Siddharth Gautam son of Queen Maya and King Sudhodana of the Sakhyas.

The next day the learned fortune tellers arrived at the palace and got busy with the task of preparing the prince’s janam kundli (predictions of his fate). Much chanting of mantra’s and celestial calculations commenced. Finally by dusk, the fortune tellers were ready to read out the prince’s fate.

All gathered in the King’s court and waited till he appeared. The queen exhausted by her prolonged labor was advised to rest by the healers. As everyone settled in, the King gave permission for the leader of the fortune tellers to speak. He rose, praised the king and started reading out the prince’s fortune.

“Your highness, we the astrologers have calculated and discovered that the exalted Prince Siddharth is destined to be a Chakrvarti (universal monarch).”

The king’s face lit up with pride. Drums of celebrations were beaten.

“But….,” the learned man had something more to say.

“But?” the king asked.

“But there is an equal chance that he may abandon all worldly comforts and search for enlightenment and attain it. If so he will be one of the greatest spiritual leader of all times.”

King Saddhodana was a mighty ruler and warrior. That his only son will become a humble monk and not follow in his footsteps was totally unacceptable.

“How can we stop him from going this way?”

“By keeping him away from the outside world. The gods tell us if ever he meets a decrepit old man, a sick man, a dead man and a monk, he will leave this palace and never return.”

“I will have you boiled in oil, if you are making this up,” the king was furious.

“That shall not prevent the stars from moving the way they are destined to Sire. I only state what our calculations tell us. But if it gives you pleasure to burn me, I am ready.”

“Go away all of you before I carry out what pleases me. Out, all of you.”

The royal astrologers quickly departed from the palace, relieved that their lives were spared.

The King conferred with his aids for seven days. On the seventh day as the meeting was being held, news came from the queen’s quarters that she had died. The king was devastated. After the last rites were performed, King Sadhodana brought Queen Maya’s younger sister Mahaprajapati in the palace as his new wife and the prince’s mother. The new queen suggested that Prince Siddharth remains under constant surveillance at all times. So from the day little Siddhu was born, he was a virtual prisoner. Chained in luxury and confined to the four walls of the palace. Channa being the late Queen Maya’s personal attendant really loved the little boy. The prince also got attached to Channa. So while the head guardians recruited in order to prevent Siddharth for leaving the palace kept on changing, as he grew up, the latest being Kailash, Channa remained the prince’s favorite.

As he lay, and was about to go to sleep he heard footsteps. He sat up alarmed as he saw a guard approaching. Was it one of Kailash’s cronies, sent to carry out his threat?

But the guard removed the cloth from his face. It was Siddharth.

“Is it you Prince?” Channa was shocked.

“Yes Channa. It is me.”

“But at this hour dressed like an ordinary man.”

“We don’t have much time. We have to leave the palace before dawn,” the prince whispered.

Channa knew this time was coming, but now that it was here, he was scared. Scared for his life and that of Siddharth.

“Are you sure, your highness?”

“Yes I am. Now hurry.”

Channa got up.

“Let’s see now. We will climb the banyan tree next to the royal kitchen wall and jump to the other side. Prince, cover your face once again.”

The both started walking towards the kitchen. The royal guards stood at the entrance.

“Where are you going Channa? No one is allowed in here before dawn,” a huge mustached fellow stopped them.

“Get out of the way imbecile. I have been ordered by the Prince himself to prepare a special meal this morning. I have to check the pantry for supplies. ”

Channa tried to do his best.

“Hmmm…Who are you? A new recruit? Never saw you before?” the guard eyed Siddharth suspiciously.

“I don’t care, he is new or old or whatever. All I know is that the Prince will have my head for breakfast in the morning if I don’t prepare what he desires and yours along with it.”

“All right, all right. You may go. But don’t take too long.”

“Fine. Now move out of the way.”

Both of them entered the kitchen big enough to hold a hundred elephants. They crossed to the other side and came to a huge window. The branches from the tree outside were visible. The both climbed up on these branches. The wall was within reach now. Siddharth could see on the other side. The jungle, the mountains, the villages, the temples, that he had seen from inside the palace lay in front of him.

“Hurry prince. Jump to the other side. That idiot may come any time to check on us.”

Channa warned while looking nervously over his shoulders.

Soon they were on the ground on the other side. They decided to run far into the jungle for some time to go as far from the palace as they possibly could.

“Look. Light over the mountains….”Siddharth felt exhilarated. He had never been outside the palace.

Dawn was breaking. A cold breeze was blowing from the snowy peaks. The morning birds had started chirping. They could see a village and a small river. Soon damsels from the village stated arriving at the river to get water. Giggling and chattering and gossiping.

“How do you feel Prince?”

“First of all Channa. Stop calling me prince. I am your Siddhu. Your little Sidhu. Don’t you remember?”

“But that was so many years ago. I have not called you by this name since….”

“I have left the prince in the palace. Only Siddhu is with you,” he smiled.

“Let us go to the village and find something to eat.”

“All right Siddhu.”

As they approached the village, they heard a moaning sound from a bush nearby. Siddhu stopped.

“What is that? “

“Someone in pain perhaps.”

They both walked towards the bush till they could see the source of the unusual sound.

It was a man dressed in tatters. Body covered with filth. It seemed if he had not eaten anything for days. He was shivering. Slowly he raised his eyes towards them. His parched lips parted and a husky voice pleaded,

“Do you have anything to eat for a hungry man?”

Siddharth stood frozen. He had never seen such depravation all his life. He felt as if a dagger had impaled him. He felt a pain in his heart which was a stranger to him.

“Are there others like him in this world Channa?”

“Millions of them Siddhu. This is how most of the world lives. You just never had a chance to see.”

As they stood contemplating the situation they saw a crowd gather in one corner under a tree.

“What is going on there?”

Siddharth ran to that corner with Channa behind. It was sick man breathing his last.”

“Where are the care takers, where are the healers Channa? Why don’t they give him medicine to make him well.”

“Not everyone is as lucky as you have been. Not everyone can afford all this. Not everyone is a prince.”

Siddharth felt his head swim. What is all this? Why is the world so unfair, so inequitable, so unjust?

Why was he kept blind for so many years?

All of a sudden he heard crying and wailing. A group of people were carrying a dead body to the cremation site. The dead man’s family and relatives were behind, mourning for the departed. Siddhu and Channa followed them to their destination. The dead body was laid on a pile of wood. Oil was pored over. Finally the son, who hardly seemed to be ten, lit the body with a torch. The body twisted and turned and cracked as it burned. The skull was smashed with a club so that it burned without bursting open.

Siddharth witnessed all this. So this is truth? All this pain, this suffering? This is all life is?

He sat down under a tree, sweat pouring from his body. His heart beat faster than ever. He held his head in his hands. Soon tears gushed from his eyes. He wailed. Those passing by got the impression that perhaps he was a close relative of the departed. They did not know that in reality he had lost much more. Channa stood on one side. He knew what was going on. He did not want to interrupt fate. He knew she could handle things well.

“Water my son?”

Siddhu saw a pair if bare feet in front of him covered with dust. He looked up. It was a monk. Body wrapped in a saffron shirt, carrying a gourd shell with water in it. He seemed as poor and deprived as the rest, but his face was strangely peaceful. His eyes were smiling as was he. Siddhu took the gourd from his hands and drank the water. The monk sat down next to him.

“So Prince, did you find what you were looking for, when you got out of the palace?”

“How do you know I am a prince?”

“I also know that right now your father is looking all over for you. Twelve people have been beheaded for negligence including the kitchen guard that you met last night. Your wife Yashodhra is very sad and is missing you. Rahula is searching for you, thinking you are playing hide and seek with him. Queen Mahaprajapati has fallen sick with worry.”

Siddharth thought about all of them.

“Do you want to go back Prince?”

The fire on the wooden pyre was nearly dying out. A whole life had gone up in smoke. Everything is mortal. Everything must perish, yet life goes on.

“No. Never. I will never go back. Not as a prince at least. I will go everywhere, but as a monk. I need to learn, I need to suffer, I need to find the truth. Like you, I want to have nothing, but peace. Will you teach me?”

“Me? Teach you?” the monk laughed.

“You, Sakhyamuni (ascetic of Sakhyas), will become the teacher of the world. Millions will learn from you.”

“Me, who was born in the lap of luxury? Me who knows nothing but pleasure and abundance? I will show the world the path to inner peace? Surely you joke with me,”Siddharth found the very thought preposterous.

“No Sakhyamuni, I do not. You shall be the leader. Come with me. One day you will see I was right.”

They both got up.

“Channa, will you come with us?” Siddharth inquired.

“No little Siddhu. You are wise now. Wiser than me, You don’t need me anymore. You follow your path and I shall follow mine. I will not go back to the palace for surely I will be killed. I will go elsewhere. But I know you need to go to the monastery. Good luck my Siddhu. May you achieve what you are seeking.”

Siddharth and the monk walked towards the path in the jungle leading to the monastery.

When they disappeared from view, Channa sighed and started on his own journey to where fate might take him.





(Siddharth Gautam, Prince of the Sakhyas, better known, respected and loved the world over as Buddha, was born in a Hindu family. He later laid foundations of one of the great six religions of the world, Budhism. A proponent of peace, tolerance and moderation, he never claimed divinity in his life time. He died at a ripe age of 82, may his noble soul rest in peace, amen.)