When viewing faith through this portal one is faced with determining whether forgiveness offered to us is real or too good to be true. Ultimately It depends on the perceptions of all involved. I have experienced in intimate fashion times when the so called "Christian" makes me wish that I was anything but a Christian. In one situation I am told by a nurse to; go to hell. In another situation a "Christian" person saying over and over that I am committed to a State Hospital for life. It is as if Judas never died and the fiction part of the forgiveness equation prays to learn more about forgiveness than less. I share this knowing of the humiliation that Jesus no doubt knew when he exclaimed; "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." Jesus followers fled for the hills, while people were saying "Crucify Him". I am left wondering what forgiveness is anyway; Am I a Christian because I am not as forgiving a person as I thought I was? Learn or burn becomes a lifetime goal.
I have been in relationship with persons "Christians" that say they know who is going to heaven or hell, because they do not believe right (whatever that means). I had a close friend with Muscular Dystrophy who went to church every day and was an inspiration to many. In his last year of life he married a caregiver. Her son kept pushing down the steps. In his last days he is bitter and looks and talks nothing like the Christian others saw him to be. My dad was preached at until he died. He was the one that was there for me when I was giving up and labored long hours so that I could go to school so that I could be a minister. As he got closer to death people kept asking if he was saved. I have known persons that have hurt and maimed up until their final breath and am thankful that the right person, maybe me, brings them into a saving relationship with God just in time. Could it just all be a game, if so who is the winner and who is the loser? Only God knows for sure. Is Forgiveness offered fact or fiction?
One way I have found some comfort in wrestling with this is by examining the nature of temptation. Every day from the time I am born I am faced with choices. I begin my life taking inventory of all in the world has to offer. I am in awe at all the things and persons in and around the place I am in. Over time I move from watching to wanting whatever I see. After all who will feed me and keep me safe if I do not want it to happen. What does it take to get what I want? Sometimes a cry, other times a smile. As we get older temptation is forever asking; "how do I get what I want and after that pondering about whether it is worth it?
I learn over time that decisions bring with them consequences. I am faced with what I truly want and what I can do without. The labour that brought all of us into the world becomes an exercise in determining what is worth the pain to know the joy of new life. Each and every day faces me and others with tests that reveal who God is and also what it means to be created in God's image. The greatest joy is to know I want God as much as God wants me. When I know this I invite temptation (testing) that over time can bring me and others closer to God.
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