it's time don't you think

I am a 23 year old women yet sometimes i feel much much more like a menopausal women soo old then woosh emotionally whisked back to a playfull naive little girl. This has taken me far and beyond the women i knew i was, so ive just about decided to feel the women and the age that i am.
I've learned many things in this English town by near enough every way possible.
Now its time for another place to teach me something or possibly even teach myself something.
The thing and more than likely the reason why i'm doing this, is i have been told that someone once loved me for the person i was. Not the person i am, so lets discover the new me and whether someone will love me for it or even love myself, currently i do not like this person i am.
Stuck in a rut with a job that should of ended a year ago, that i am always waiting to hear if the contract has been extended just to extend my life into a career with no chance of advancing in.
I've spent my whole life yearning for that one guy to spend my life with that i have dreamed of all my life.
I believed i found him and its the universe laughing at you when you do realise just what you had, just when that door has been sealed shut with superglue and nothing will dissolve it away.
So im determined that this is not a heartbroken, sad and lonely rant this is the begining this will be for me. my own and my first holiday(ive never gone abroad in my life the time is now).