Battle Scars

This self esteem of mine,
Flowing down the drain,
Been praying to a God,
A God who never answered,
Wondering when it would get better,
When the pain would go away.

This self esteem of mine,
Flowing down the drain,
A body full of battle scars,
Scars that won't ever go away,
You made me change myself,
In ways I would never imagine I'd allow.

This self esteem of mine,
So fragile, and tormented,
Been wishing on the same star,
A star too far away,
I prayed you would have never left,
Left me to fend for myself.

This self esteem of mine,
So fragile, and tormented,
At war with sources of love,
A love I would never be good enough to receive,
It was time to face the enemy,
Time to tell myself "it will be okay".

This self esteem of mine,
Growing weary with time,
A tornado of mixed feelings,
Feelings of regret, Feelings of anger,
Anger at myself for allowing you back into my life,
A constant hurt, constant pain.

This self esteem of mine,
Growing weary with time,
Looking through the magazines,
The feelings don't ever get better,
You told me I'd never be enough,
Perfection is ugly.

This self esteem of mine,
Breaking my inner soul,
You always told me "do this", or "do that",
I would be happy you said,
Happiness does not come from perfection,
I will never listen to you again.

This self esteem of mine,
Breaking my inner soul,
Did not think that you would say I am not beautiful,
To you I am nothing but a number, a paycheck,
I will NOT let you break me,
I am strong, beautiful; a lioness.

This self esteem of mine,
Rising to the grind,
I will look at myself, and love what I see,
I will never, though, forget the battle I fought,
I will know that I am beautiful,
On the inside, and on the outside.

This self esteem of mine,
Rising to the grind,
I won't ever need to starve myself,
I will not starve to achieve beauty,
Beauty comes from within,
A heart full of gold, and love.

This self esteem of mine,
Is perfect in my eyes,
I taught myself how to love, and how to be loved,
To know my own beauty,
While embracing it,
I will never lose sight of myself.

My self esteem,
Is perfect in my eyes,
I will never doubt again,
Never doubt the beauty I contain, nor my intelligence,
I will always know in my heart,
I am perfect in God's eyes.