Close your eyes while you're reading this. There you go. That's it.
Now, picture yourself on a warm, sandy beach. A wave is lapping at your bare feet, and the palms above rustle in the breeze.
Are your eyes closed? Good. Keep reading.
A boat sends its low horn over the blue waters to where you stand. Then, your friend leans over and vomits because he's had eleven Coronas and it's 11:16am.
"Good one, man," you say. "Way to ruin the beach for everyone."
Just then, mermaids appear in the surf, their wet breasts glistening. They lap up your friend's vomit, which is mixing with the froth of the waves at your feet. Then, out of nowhere, the mermaids produce more Coronas. Both you and your friend take the beers from their mermaid hands, which are human hands, because the top part of mermaids are human. The mermaids swim away, satisfied that they saved another day in paradise.
Is this a good Corona commercial?
Are your eyes still closed?
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