OFFENSIVE STANDING

                              OFFENSIVE STANDING

    I got yelled at today by a schizophrenic. I guess the voices in his head thought I was a threat. Problem was that I didn’t know he was disturbed so boy was I confused. I was on my way to the library, walking in a crowd down the stairs when he whirled around and screamed.

    “Don’t stand behind me like that!’
    “What? Sorry, buddy.” I said
    “No, seriously, stop standing behind me.”
    “I’m just trying to get down the stairs.”
    “Why are you giving me attitude?”
    “What did I do?” At this point I was stepping outside and was really confounded. “Tell me what I did and I’ll apologize.”
    “I don’t care if you’re bigger than me, I’ll crack your skull!”
      “What did I do!?”
   
                And then he stalks off muttering to himself. It wasn’t until I got to the library that I found out he regularly gets into arguments with himself while on the toilet, in the shower, and alone in his bunk.

                I knew I was never in any danger. You get very good at reading people in here and he was way too far away from me to be serious about his threats. I still don’t like getting yelled at though, most of my safety and peace of mind stems from my reputation as a mellow friendly, helpful guy. I get along with everyone regardless of race, charge or sexual preference and guys respect that. Nobody wants to be the guy to screw with the nicest person on the unit. Especially when they know I’m very anti-violence, anti-hate.

                Sadly getting yelled at by crazy people is a common occurrence at this particular facility. It seems to be where they send the people who really wouldn’t survive a real prison. It’s officially designated as a low security facility, which means we inmates far outnumber the guards because none of us would ever do anything of extreme violence. 90% of the guys here wouldn’t even hurt a fly.
                Anyway, because of that fact they send all the weirdo’s here – Autistics, Paranoids, Schizos, Mentally Handicap, Physically Handicap, and transgenders. Plus more homosexuals then at a pride parade. That’s not to say there aren’t some scary individuals, but they tend to be dealt with very harshly by the staff if they act up. It’s a quiet and weird life here, but it’s always amusing and unexpected. Where else can you see a half naked Indian give Daps to God, then sing to the trees and two geeks waving sticks at the fence to cast a spell that diffuses negative energy, while you walk the track for exercise? Maybe, New York?