Evacuation

           1. Evacuation

< Prologue >



My mother has never taken much interest in me. I am an only child and she seems to think of me as a nuisance.



I was brought up in Belfast since I was born in 1930. I have few memories of my father because he divorced my mother soon after I was born and had little to do with us after that. I can't say that I was not loved because I know that somewhere inside my mother there must be some love for me, it's just that I've never felt it much.



So when the Nazis started bombing Belfast, recently and some bombs landed in our local area, my school arranged an evacuation programme and my mother immediately signed me up for it. She said that it was for my own good and that I would thank her some day. I didn't get much say on the matter, once my mother has her mind set on something, you can rarely change it. I tried to persuade her to rethink and not send me off on my own but my efforts availed to nothing, she stood her ground.



Monday



It's been three days since I was registered and I am set to leave on Saturday. There is some good news, two of my friends will be leaving on the same day as me. They are called .Olivia and Forence and we have been friends since Primary 3 in our school and we have now started secondary school together. About a fifth of our class will be joining us. This means that we will be going to the same place, which is a relief!



Today we were told that we will be being evacuated to Fermanagh, the only time I've ever heard of Fermanagh is the F in FAT LAD (an acronym for the counties in Northern Ireland). But during break time Olivia, Florence and I looked at the map and worked out that it is in the West.



Tuesday



In case you are wondering, I have started this diary because I want to keep track of how awful my stay in Fermanagh will be because I want to prove to my mother that I should move back to Belfast as soon as possible. But for now I'll have to go along with the plan and give it a go because one thing's for sure, my mother will not give in if I haven't even tried.



           2. To Fermanagh...



Saturday



This morning was awfully hectic, I had to get up at 6 O'clock and after pestering my mother one last time with no luck and gobbling down my breakfast (bread and some jam for a treat - though I wasn't very hungry) eventually I left the house.



My mum gave me a quick excuse for a hug as I went through the door. I was left to my own devices to walk to the station. I carried only a small bag with my important belongings and my gas mask box (which I doubt I'll need in the country side) and a tag stating my name.



I met my friends at the station and the rest of the small crowd of first years going.



I felt a little excluded because everyone else's parents were crying and hugging them but Olivia and Florences' parents gave me quick hugs to make me feel better, they've always been kind to me like that.



Olivia has a little sister, Joan who is also coming but she sat in another carriage with her friends. Florence only has two much older brothers who are both at war.



Soon we departed on the train, my friends were a little tearful but I tried to comfort them as best I could.



We shared a carriage with some other girls who chatted amongst themselves and most of the people in my carriage seemed to find a letter secretly hidden somewhere in there lunchboxes or bags of belongings, but surprise-surprise, I couldn't find one.



Enclosed in my lunch tin I found sandwiches and an apple but Olivia found some boiled sweets in hers and shared them about.



After just over an hour of dozing and chatting we were informed that we had arrived at the station.



We got off the train with stiff legs and a sizable cluster of people were waiting for us and soon our teachers were giving us away like animals at a market though with no money changing hands.



People inspected us as if we belonged to a different species to them and I would have hated to have been picked last but about half way through a woman who was strongly built but she had kind eyes read my name tag which said ROSIE in capital letters and also said my address and other information and asked me if I would like to come with her.



I replied, 'Yes, please!' and she smiled and introduced herself as June Sharpe and said that even though I was a little plump, I looked strong and would be a great help on the farm.



Oh great, I thought, child labour!



          3. The Farm



Her house was nearby but on the way we had to pick up her four year old son, Wilbur from his primary school. Though she called him Will all the time (thank goodness for him!).



She chatted to me all the way home and Will tried to hide behind her, but I could tell by his cheeky grin that he wouldn't stay shy for very long.



We arrived at their humble, cosy house with the unfamiliar smell of slurry in the air around it.



Once we got in she asked me of my life in the city and she also told me about theirs.



She told me that her husband David was a plane driver over the sea in Europe and she kept this explanation very brief and I couldn't help noticing a distant look in her eyes so I didn't ask any more questions because I guessed that this must be a touchy subject.



She gave me stew and a small hunk of apple pie for dinner and desert.



She asked my what footwear I had brought and I showed her my scruffy school shoes which I was wearing now and my good patent shoes in my bag. She said that she would buy me some good boots which would be appropriate for the farm.



She was shocked and I looked down at my shoes when she realised that I had never been on a farm before and only been in the country side twice, both while visiting me great aunt who has passed away since then.



She gave me a tour of the house before I went to bed and I noticed very few pictures around the house of her husband, they were mostly of Will and her. There was one of her husband on the mantelpiece and I he looked handsome in his uniform.



Their farm consists mostly of chickens which were bantams and cows too. She also grows vegetables, which must be handy so that she can save up her ration cards for other things but she said it was getting late and she would show me around more thoroughly tomorrow.



I went to sleep quickly, quite content in my nice sagging, cosy bed and thought, this is what a real home is like..



          4. School



Sunday



Today, I've been busy non-stop.



The day started off with June showing me around the farm, it is quite a small farm I'm told, for it only has four cows and a dozen chicken. It used to be bigger but when June's husband George went off to war, she couldn't keep all of the animals, it was far too much work. So she sold most of them and now just sells butter, eggs and some vegetables at the three nearest villages to them once a week and also has the money from selling the other animals.



I also enjoyed playing with Will around their house and have discovered that he is a little spoilt because his mother treasures him so much. It was quite exhausting playing with him as I'm not used to having any siblings, but it was great fun; pretending to be younger again and we got lots of freedom to explore the fields and surrounding area.



I'm looking forward to going to school tomorrow and being able to talk to my friends again and see if they've settled in as well as I have.



Monday



Got up very early and had to sort the animals sorted, I could have done without this early work but did it without a fuss because I want to make a good impression on June and make sure she doesn't think I'm ungrateful for her hospitality.



Today I started school, the main difference between our old and new schools is the size. This new one has over two hundred less! It is a secondary school with just under one hundred pupils in it and people from all around go to it. Most people seem to leave when they are about 14-16 because their families need them to work, but this is similar at home, We live about three miles away from it and June walked me there because it was my first day. First we dropped will off then travelled for almost about forty five minutes! Though we did walk at a leisurely pace so that I could learn a bit more about the local vicinity.



When I got to school, I learned that my journey was quite reasonable compared to some others who have to walk for over an hour.



Olivia and Florence were already there. Florence lives quite a similar distance away from school to me but ended up living with an old widower called Mr Mc Brien and apparently he is pleasant enough but is quite quiet and private so he keeps to himself. We're both envious of Olivia and her little sister Joan though who are living with the local Vicar and his wife who live next door to the school! They have no children of they're own but have always longed for some, so they jumped at the opportunity to foster an evacuee and they seem to be spoiling them rotten. They've been promised new clothes and toys too.



Some pupils called us townies but the rest of our class were quite. All of our class our new to the school this year and have only known eachother for a few months which made things easier for us but still they seem to hang around with each other and us with ourselves. After a while I'm sure we will blend in better and not be thought of as invaders.



June met me at the gates with Will who gets home earlier than us, and came on his wooden homemade bicycle. June wants me to settle in a bit before I get to walk home by myself. I enjoyed her company though.



Went to bed again, feeling knackered but went to sleep without much hassle.



          5. Settling in



Tuesday



Today school went reasonably well, we've started to hang around with the country children too. There was a big football match between our boys and some chosen boys from our new school, and we won even though they had a whole school to choose a team from. The good thing that came out of this was that now both teams are exchanging tips and see to be getting on with each other.



When walking home with June and Will, we stopped at a shop and got me some good boots. They were very expensive but we bought them a little too big and June said that they'll last me a long time.



Once home she helped me write a brief letter to my mother. In it we included my new address and said that I was getting on well and I told her about June and Will.



I hate the thought of her being alone, maybe she does need me more than she ever made out...



Wednesday



Farm work is tough but I really do feel like part of June and Will's family now. They treat me like I belong here and I really feel that I do.



June and I are especially close and after my mother always keeping a bit of a distance from me, it feels lovely to be able to talk to her about my day and be embraced by her.



Sometimes June can be a bit distant though when I walk into a room and a couple of times I have found her staring into space and looking a bit lost, but once she realises I'm there she brightens up and helps me with some farm work, helps me with my homework or comes with me to play with Will.



I think it's just because she's not used to my company and is used to being on her own only with Will for company, that she seems to dream a lot.



I've also found her calling me Rosemarie often instead of my nick name Rosie, she says that she doesn't like abbreviations. This makes sense other than when you consider that she calls her own son Will.



          6. The time has come...



Saturday



Sorry, I have not written in days but a lot has happened since I last wrote in this diary.



It all happened yesterday when our teachers decided to give us a half day because there was an emergency meeting with the staff. We were all given the opportunity to stay until the normal leaving time and do our homework in the hall or walk home.



My two friends and I automatically chose the latter, as did the majority of the school. So we walked Olivia across the road the Florence and I continued towards our homes.



Florence turned off first then I skipped down our lane, I crept in the back door and planned to surprise June but my plans were abandoned when I heard sniffing coming from the living room, I hurriedly rushed in to find a dishevelled and weeping June.



She was startled to see me and tried to hide that she had been crying, but it was useless and she burst into tears again.



I quickly ran over to her and hugged her, tough I still didn't know what was wrong.



She hugged me back and I felt like I was comforting a child rather than an adult.



It was only then that I noticed the photograph of her husband she was clutching, a sudden surge of anxiety struck me.



''What's wrong?'' ,I asked, hoping that my fears weren't true



''Oh R-rosemarie'' she sobbed, gulping a little, ''h-he's d--d-d-ead'', and she broke don again.



I was speechless, as reality smacked me in the face.



I clung to the weeping woman, she said, ''I haven't t-told Wilbur'', this was the first time I had heard her call him by his actual name.



''But you haven't had time'', I said, ''I can help you''.



''You don't understand'' she wailed, '' He's been d-d-dead for, t-three months..''



I was shocked, ''When did you find out?''



''A couple of weeks before you came, but I thought if I didn't tell anyone, it wouldn't be true and he could j-j-just be fighting in Europe like any other husband.''



I was starting to realise what I burden she had been holding all this time.



''I wanted to tell Will but when you came along'' she paused, ''I never found the right moment''



''It's all right'', I reassured her.



''I always hated when George called Wilbur, ''Will'', but when I found out he was d-d''



She broke down again and I kept my arms around her.



''I know'', I said, ''but you'll have to tell him sometime, why don't we tell him today?''



She agreed hesitantly and then thought of asking, '' Why are you home early?''



I explained about the meeting and after chatting for a while, she admitted sorrowfully, ''I think the time has come to tell him.''



          7. Home is where your heart is, and mine is here



After those peculiar happenings, we collected Will from school. We had to walk to the villiage primary school after we had eaten lunch. When we met him June gave him a huge hug. Now I understood why she treasured him so much.



When we got home ( I've just realised that I've adjusted to calling the farm 'home'), June brought him into the living room by herself and broke the news to him. I don't think Will realised that 'death' is irreversable, but all the same I heard them weeping together.



After June had but Will to bed with my help, I noticed that she looked like a great weight had been taken off her shoulders and she just looked much more content.



She thanked me for helping her and we spent the next couple of hours chatting late into the night about all sorts of funny and serious matters.



This is what mothers are supposed to be like...I feel a bond between June and I, like I've never felt between anyone and myself before.



Sunday



Today, June, Will and I went for a picnic. We went to one of the hills on the farm, so we needn't have brought a picnic but it was still a novelty.



You would hardly know there's a war on here. There are the same rations but they don't apply for home grown food and you never hear a bomber or plane at all!



There is news from France and London and Belfast in the papers of course to remind us of the sad reality that people are being killed and injured. Although those places seem a million miles away from this peaceful country side.



I'm so busy here, there is hardly enough time to write in this diary! I'm supposed to be sleeping now and to be honest, I'm wrecked after today.



Night night.



          8. Leaving...



Hi, this is me Rosie. Three years have passed since I last wrote in this diary and it's now 1945!



I'm fourteen almost fifteen and I can undoubtedly state that they have been the best three years of my life.



Will is now eight, it's hard to believe and he enjoys playing with his mates at school and has plenty of friends. I probably wouldn't be writing in this diary if we hadn't had some startling news last week.



The war is over!



At last, but this leaves me in an awkward situation...I have to go back home.



June has reassured me that my mum will be waiting lovingly for me, but personally I find this unlikely saying she has sent me a total of four letters since I left. FOUR! Three birthday cards and one when I was still settling in. I used to read them often but I feel like this is my real home and don't dwell on my mother's failure to respond to my early letters.



So, I am due to return to my metropolitan old life in Belfast next week. I'll miss here but all the same, I'm longing to see my mum and old cosy home again!



I'll write more soon.



Thursday



Six days have passed (I know, I'm awful!) and I've done the majority of my packing. We just had a leaving dinner with some family friends, Olivia and Florence were there too.



It was really emotional and I'm happy it was over early so June, Will and I can spend some quality time together. I've promised that I will send regular letters and visit often and I hope I keep to it.



It's an early start tomorrow, so I'm in bed now. I doubt I'll sleep though!



          9. Replacement



Friday



Hello again.



I'm on the train now and I'm so nervous, my mum still lives in the same house and I am guessing nothing much has changed. Same long working hour. I am reading 'Pride and Prejudice' because there's nothing much else to do. Olivia and Florence are here too, but none of us feel like chatting.



I had an emotional morning and so had they, there was an air of expectation.



I'll write more later.



Oh my goodness, that was awful... I'll have to explain now. I wish it was all a nightmare!



So, when I got back to Belfast, mother was waiting. Now I realised why there had been a lack of letters. She really didn't care about me, I worked this out immediately when I saw my mother.



She was pushing a pram and looked heavily pregnant! She had obviously been busy when I was away.



I stared for a few seconds, and didn't utter a word. She awkwardly avoided my gaze, looking imbarrassed. We were silent on the way home and when I got into our house. A man was sitting at the kitchen table smoking and looking at home, 'This is Rosie, Raymond', my mother said awkwardly. He nodded uninterestedly (is that a word) and I noticed how cold and not cosy the hose was. It was just cramped. My mum obviously had forgotten about me! 'This is Raymond junior', my mum added. I nodded and ran upstairs with tears welling up in my eyes.



She had replayed me, I got even more proof when I entered my room and found out it was not my room anymore. It was 'Raymond junior's', 'Raymond junior', she even named the baby after 'Him'!



I quickly wrote down a letter to June on a page of my diary and ripped it out but changed my mind and ran down to the road to the nearest phone box and put in a couple of spare coins in my pocket, shoved them in and hurriedly dialled the village hall's phone number, because I knew that June would be there, at the sewing club which people also brought their kids to and they played together.



They always go on a Friday, and I used to join in with the sewing or look after the kids.



The phone started making the ringing tone - beep-beep beep-beep - someone answered and I recognised the voice 'Hello Mary, it's Rosie' I said.



She responded, 'Hello, are you home now? How are you?'



I said that I was and she said that she wasn't there tonight, I thanked her and hung up.



Did no-one want me?



          10. Brave Faced



I stood in devastated silence for a couple of seconds, but then the phone rang!



I answered and it was June's caring voice, I broke down and she worriedly tried to calm me down. After a while, I was able to explain between sobs, the situation I was in.



She thought for a while and told me that she would try to sort things out and not to worry until then.



So now, I am sitting on the sofa. My makeshift bed. Everything smells of cigarette smoke and my mum smokes now to even though she never used too.



Saturday



Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life and I had a fitful night's sleep, but today I'm putting on a brave face and having faith in June to keep her promise.



My mum realised how awful I felt though and looked as if she was feeling a bit guilty. Raymond and I still haven't spoken and I don't intend to 'befriend' him. I wouldn't have minded as much, if my mum had actually TOLD me about him but I feel betrayed, now.



I finished 'Pride and Prejudice' because there was nothing else to do.



In the afternoon, I decided to visit my friends tomorrow to get out of the claustrophobic house.



Sunday



After church (I haven't been in 3 years because of June not having much belief), I visited my friends but only Olivia was in. The city seems so dense compared to the country side. I stayed in Olivia's for a while. Her mother had told her about my situation, having expected that I knew. They had exchanged frequent letters throughout our time away and they made me weak some tea.



We chatted and they were very sympathetic but they seem to think I will just get over it. They don't realise the amount of hurt that is building up inside of me.



I went home via the corner shop and familiarised myself again with the urban area.



I went to bed- (or should I say, I went to sofa) early. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.



          11. 'Trying to sort things out'



Monday



We received a letter today, it was from June but addressed to my mother! I immediately knew this was June 'trying to sort things out'. I held my breath, expecting my mother to rip the letter up or something similar, but my mother looked up after reading the letter and stared deeply into my eyes. 'I'm sorry', she said mournfully. 'This letter is from June', she exhaled loudly. 'Do you want to live with her?'



'YES!', I said a little too enthusiastically. She smiled though, 'I do love you, but I realise I shouldn't have kept quiet and if you would be happier there, then as long as that's all right with June, that would be grand.'



'Thankyou!', I said and hugged her. She hugged me back and her eyes were welled up.



'This time do write and tell me the truth', I said. 'I will', she reassured me.



We had dinner together, along with the two Raymonds.



I actually played with Raymond after dinner (junior, you'd be glad to know), although he's too young to talk and just makes gurgling noises.



I went to sleep a happy girl again and slept like a baby.



          12. Home, sweet Home



Almost a month has passed since I last wrote in this diary.



I am, of course back to home by now.



The day I got home, I was greeted by June, Will (who both enclosed me in a humongous hug) and a huge, juicy hunk of apple pie.



It was hard to leave Olivia and Florence but I keep in contact with them through letters and guess who else I write to?



My mother!



It's great, she's informing me on baby Raymond's progress and she's going to have her baby in a month. (encase I didn't tell you, Raymond can't go to war because he lost a leg from a mine exploding when he was fighting in 1939 and hasn't been able to fight since. I only found out this out after a couple of days!).



I love living here and now help out full time on the farm, now that I'm 15. I have friends from the village and from my old school here and the sowing club.



I also love spending time with June, Will and the animals, I feel I can talk to June about anything and I've met some boys from the village too...



I think this is a good time to permanently finish my diary. Thank you for reading it, however you got hold of it. Even though there might not be many success stories from the blitz, but thanks to the Nazis bombing Belfast. I found my real home, the place where I am meant to be.



Rosie