Raynedancer

My earliest memory is that of standing in my crib , watching, and feeling a very powerful storm. Thunder rolled and lightening flashed. The rain fell like diamonds from the sky. I, in my crib, laughed, as the thunder rolled and shook my tummy , the lightening created such a beautiful backdrop for billions of diamonds falling fast from the dark night sky. This is how I remember it , the storms would come and bring comfort for me throughout my whole life and rain would fall the day I returned to the earth as well .This is the true story of me , Rayne Dancer , as well as  I can tell it anyway. I was born in East Berlin Germany in 1969, my given name is Sasha Bonn . I am the daughter of a very well known, well respected / feared attorney . My dad ,full on German ,my mom a nurse , half Spanish Indian, half English (white southern ) .Me, a happy half breed , intense green eyes, white/blonde hair , caramel skin , always to thin and small ( my dads opinion ) a free spirit , wild child and a little crazy ( my moms opinion ) . I didn't pay much attention to their assessment of me. I saw my self as a kind of misfit at home and later at school , college, an almost everywhere else . One second let me try to clarify my self assessment , hmm ... It is true I was always small in size , and a bit wild  ( independent thinker ) , things such as academics , sports and ,people, were always easy for me it s not my fault I was blessed / cursed the day I was born with brains , beauty , money , and attitude . My half sister and brother were not endowed with these things and did not fair well because of it , now , I sound vain and conceited yes? Not trying to, just, stating facts as I saw them . I have told you personal things thus far , I have introduced you to my immediate family and told you my heritage , and social status in our town . What shall I disclose next ...not sure , if you are not bored yet maybe you will read on yes ? Where in my life should I take you next my childhood , my teen years maybe ,or somewhere in time when my adult life began or where it ended ? I should probably mention that I have A.D.D , if you do not know what that is look it up later , to me it means I can accomplish many things at once . It will also explain my thought process to people who wonder if I really might be as my mom describes as a little crazy . No , I can assure I am not crazy . back to the question at hand where to start with the story of me Rayne Dancer , perhaps with how I got the name ... ok my dear grandmother who lived in Alabama ,Yes , Alabama ( usa ) gave me this nickname when I was a very small girl aged 3 . We were at her farm visiting for the summer ( our moms choice for our summers every year ) We three would fly all the way from Germany to Alabama every summer as far back as I remember . My grandparents farm was not much more than a log house and several acres of farm land and woods . They did not even have a bathroom inside and no gas or electricity . My sister often said it was nothing but red clay and hay . My brother ,much older than us , thought of it as a torture camp , only because he had to get up before dawn and do farm chores , I laugh as I remember him half asleep stumbling out the door with my granddad and cousins after a breakfast of something called hominy grits and biscuits .My brother was known to disappear and fall asleep in odd places to avoid farm work .Now back to how I got the name Rayne Dancer . it stormed often in the summer and these were the best storms , lots of open spaces for wind ,rain,thunder,lightening, my siblings and cousins would all run for shelter and sometimes cry ,not me, I would dance about and laugh as the ground shook and water poured from the southern sky, it mesmerized me every single time , my granddad would try to catch me and bring me inside ,I would run away but did not get far because of my small size, he would bring me inside where I would pace bck and forth and cry to go out in the storm . My grandmother hated to see me in such agony and would let me out again to play in the storm . My granddad would say ma you shouldn't let that baby out in the rain shes gonna get sick my grandmother would say shes our rayne dancer you leave her be papi .There you have it that is how I got the nickname im not a stripper or anything just a very loved grand daughter .who would love storms and her grandparents until the day she took her final breath .My grandparents had 11 children ,my mom was second born in this large family the first born daughter it is what made her choose to be a nurse .My granddad a full on Spanish Indian taught each one how to hunt fish farm and survive ,he served in the u.s army in ww II and worked dawn to dark on his small farm ,he would say he raised kids and crops on his own piece of the usa .He would later die of a heart attack one white hot july day, under a tree in the back yard, holding a newborn baby in his big strong hands ,leaving my grandmother to finish raising the kids and grands  alone for the next 34 years until she went to sleep and didn't wake with the morning sun. The children would all finish college and become an attorney, 3 nurses, 3 advanced mechanics,a police officer,a nuclear power engineer ,a farmer and a business owner . All 11 worked hard ,4 served in Vietnam, all did well and cared for their mom . Bored yet ? soo that's how I spent my childhood , Rich kids during school, dirt poor in the summer . It did teach me life lessons , gratitude ,grace,empathy,and so so much more . SEE not as conceited as you thought yes ? on we go to my tens which I knew later in life were cut way to short at 14 I was married to my best friend ,yes 14 , very long story if you would like to read on get comfy and here we go .... as I said earlier we were sent tp Alabam evey summer , little did we know our mom was bored at home and proceeded to cheat on my dad ...with his best friend ...until .....my dad caught them ,he came home to change suits before court early one afternoon and there they were....on the floor of the den in front of the fireplace . on the bear skin rug he himself shot and made . The way I heard it years later my dad was not that surprised for he knew she had become bitter towards him for some reason ,it was not so much that she cheated on him but that she was so ungrateful for everything he had done for her and he felt betrayed not cheated on ,yes there is a difference in the two . anyway he threw them both out of the house stark naked and sat down to figure out how to retrieve his daughter and possibly his step children and recover . He chose to start with a tall stiff jager and a good cigar.The fight to get me back from the u.s would prove to be a long hard fight  ....but he did . My mom flew to Alabama and told a completely different version of this story and we were in Alabama for three long years as my dad fought endlessly through the red tape to bring me home to Berlin. I was barely 10 years old when this happened .I was told my dad died in an accident . but