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Title: Painful Night |
When we thought we had been too long outside, we decided to walk back in with the party. At first, Nick thought we could dance along with the cheerful and crazy beats of the songs, but we were a little too shy to dance. I guess talking with people is the only option we had. We were about to walk upstairs when we saw a commotion going on by the living room. There was a crowd circled to something when I heard that the music was turned off. They were quiet. All I could hear was a girl in the crowd who was shouting. The voice really seemed familiar. I figured and hoped I wasn’t right. I looked at Nick, and he did at me, too. We both seemed to have come up with the same guess. We quickly rushed through the crowd to see the girl who was shouting. When we got upfront, I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t wrong with who I thought it was. It was Winnie. She was shouting at Harvey. I scouted my head around for Laura, but she didn’t seem to be in the circle of crowds. Nick and I remained back and watched. “How dare you even show up here!” Winnie continued shouting at Harvey. I wondered why there wasn’t anyone stopping that and why was Harvey silent and just absorbed everything Winnie was saying. I looked at Harvey’s expression, and he totally looked sorry. She continued raging, “Even though it’s okay for gatecrashers, I never expected that you’ll be thick enough to even get near me!” “Hey!” Alex swept through the crowd and stood behind Winnie. “What’s going on?” “Please make him leave, Sander!” Winnie said after she saw Alex. “I invited him here.” Alex explained. “I don’t know what’s going on.” “You invited this skunk here?” Winnie continued with rage and disgust. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Alex continued. “You said I could invite anyone, so I invited him.” “Really?” Winnie faced Alex and started to calm. She took a deep breath and looked back at Harvey who was silent and forlorn. “Can you please get him out?” Alex stayed still at first. He probably didn’t know what to do, but he still did what Winnie asked. He went near Harvey to gently talk him out, “I’m sorry, man. I don’t know what’s going on, but I think it’s best if you leave.” “I’m sorry, Sander.” Harvey gently pushed Alex beside to face Winnie. Alex was fine with it and stayed still. “I needed to tell Winnie something before I go.” “Don’t you think you’ve made your point enough, Harvey?” Winnie begged. “I haven’t.” Harvey paused. “There’s just a point that I still haven’t told you.” “What?” “I still haven’t told you, for the whole year that I avoided you, that I’m truly sorry.” Harvey explained. There was a wave of silence that roamed the room after. Winnie bit her lips, still not accepting, and shook her head, “You know I can never forgive you now. With all that you’ve done, I can never accept you again.” I looked at Winnie; she had her crying eyes. I looked at Harvey; he was still bummed. I looked at Alex; he was confused, but I could see that he felt sorry for Winnie that she had to feel that way on her birthday night. I also felt sorry for Winnie. She didn’t need to go through that on her special night. My hands clenched. My whole being wants punch Harvey right away, but I didn’t want Alex to see that. I couldn’t do anything but feel sorry for all of them. Harvey nodded after finally taking in Winnie’s response. He stared at Winnie for some seconds, and everyone was still quiet. I felt anger all over me. I rushed in behind Harvey and grabbed the back of his shirt. I pulled him quickly to cross through the crowd. “Liyah!” Alex reacted. I stopped after hearing his voice. Somehow, I didn’t know what to do, but I just faced back at Alex and Winnie and talked, “I’ll drive him home. I’m sorry.” “You two, be careful, then.” Alex said to both of us. I was stunned at Alex’s kind advice. Even after having such bad impressions about Harvey, he still hoped for his safety. “Thank you.” I replied. Then, I called out to Nick to make him follow us. “Nick!” Nick followed us as I continued to guide Harvey out of the crowd. I didn’t want to leave the place, but I had to. I didn’t want to leave Alex yet, but I was meant to. I felt bleak again, so I turned my head to see Alex for one last time for the rest of the night. He walked to Winnie and held her shoulder as she was calming down. I just hoped everything would be fine. I went out of Winnie’s house with Nick and Harvey. The house full of noise when we came in became quiet and serious. When we got to the lawn, I stopped pulling Harvey. I looked back at Nick who was just behind me and Harvey whereas Harvey was stuck, staring at front. I smelled liquor from Harvey’s body. “Are you drunk?” I asked Harvey with an angry tone. “I had a little.” Harvey answered cheerfully, like nothing even happened. I got even angrier. I lost control. I came to him with force and pushed him on the lawn. He fell off on the grass with the force. I quickly tried to stop him from getting up when he tried by stepping on his body. Harvey wasn’t doing anything, but he was trying to resist me. “Liyah!” Nick panicked, but he didn’t stop me. “You’re so stupid! You’re so fucking stupid, you asshole!” I went down and got on top of him as I slapped him again and again. I crunched my hands and slammed them to his face as he guarded with his forearm. I did it over and over again as I shouted, “Why would you do that?! You’re a real douche, you know that? Why would you fucking do that on her birthday?! You know what you did! You raped her!” “Liyah!” Nick couldn’t watch any longer and carried me off Harvey as I continued to rage my hands and curse. Nick restrained and pulled me farther away from Harvey who was still owned to the ground. “Liyah, please calm down! Stop!” When Nick finally got me to calm down, Harvey stood up and pulled his shirt to remove the wrinkles that formed on it. Nick let go of me, but he still kept his guard on in case I was to rage on Harvey again. I stared angrily at Harvey as he fixed himself. “I know I’m stupid.” Harvey said as he brushed off the dirt on his shirt. “That’s what happens when I get overwhelmed. I do the stupidest things for love.” “But how could you say that you love her after doing that?” I shouted. “You just humiliated her in front of a crowd, in front of Alex! You just ruined her birthday twice in a row!” “It’s because I’m stupid. My emotions take over my head.” He laughed. Somehow, that felt like he was laughing at himself. He seemed crazy and drunk, but I still felt bad. “You’re so pathetic. I want to rip off your face right now.” I threatened. Harvey gave me a look of fear, but he didn’t say anything. “Stop! Please!” Nick begged. “Can we just get Laura and drive this drunk guy at home?” “Laura!” I repeated. I almost forgot about her and panicked. I knew who I was supposed to ask. “Where is she?!” “She fell asleep.” Harvey said. “We had some drinks by the car, and she didn’t last long with the beers. She’s in the car right now.” “Did you make out with my best friend before getting drunk and confess your shit to Winnie?” “I don’t remember.” He laughed like a drunk. “You don’t use my best friend as a fuck toy!” I pointed a finger at Harvey. “Hey, hey! Calm down, Liyah.” Nick stopped me and held my hand down. “If she’s in the car right now, then we should just make our way there and get the heck out of here.” I just stayed quiet and agreed with Nick. He was the one who took care of it all that night. We all went to the car without any trace of me, trying to beat the pulp out of Harvey; Nick prevented that. I got a little tired, so Nick took care of the driving. Nick and I sat at front while the two drunks slept at the back. We made our way to our homes quietly but not peacefully. Everyone was surprised and tired, and even I fell asleep. We were all victims, Winnie as the main victim of it all. I felt sorry for her, for having been the one to cause that ruined night. I just hoped and prayed before I lost consciousness. It was about an hour before midnight when I had just awakened only to find myself driven home by Nick. The car was just slowing down in front of our apartment. I sprung my head away from the side window where I laid my head to sleep and took deep yawn. I didn’t notice that the two drunks were already gone. I wondered how Nick got them off without waking me up. Nick just parker the car upfront when I got a little settled. Nick used to keep the car key sometimes when we let him borrow the car. Nick’s house was only across the street, so we didn’t bother if he parked the car in their garage. I was supposed to say goodbye to him for the night, but I wanted to ask him a few things before leaving. “You got the two out?” I started. “Yeah.” “Amazing. You got them home without waking me up.” “Well, yeah.” he chuckled. “Harvey came out fine. I walked Laura while she was half-asleep.” “Cool.” At least it had gone for the better. We would have been in trouble if Laura’s parents found out that she got drunk, but her parents are out of town, and she does everything on her own, pretty much why she had more free will than me. Since everything went fine, all I had to worry about was Alex. I was afraid that he would have changed his impression of me or maybe avoid me in any way. It wasn’t likely, but it still got me worrying. “Nick.” I said. I didn’t know why I wanted to ask him; I just did. I faced Nick, waiting for him to respond. “Yeah?” he responded and faced back at me. I thought I could have still backed away my thoughts, but I didn’t. “If you loved someone and you knew that you barely have any chance, what would you do?” I asked him straight off, a question that probably triggered a thousand of bitter memories to strike his mind, but I wanted to ask because I wanted to know what to do. I’ve never felt that way before, and I didn’t know what to do. Nick gave me a short gaze, but he quickly asked back, “Why are you asking me that?” “I don’t know.” I shook my head and let my sight fly off in front of the windshield. “I don’t know what to do.” “Are you doing this for Alexander?” he followed up. I couldn’t answer right away. I still wanted to deny it, but it didn’t feel like it would have worked. “I guess so, yeah.” I said and nodded as I turned my face to him. His expression didn’t change, but I know that it affected him somehow. He took some long exhales and rubbed his hair, trying to think maybe. I wanted to say more, so I did, “I don’t know what this feeling is. I get goose bumps every time I see or get near him. I lose control. I know, maybe you’re not the right person to ask about this, but I know that you know what’s best to do. You said you wanted to help me as my friend, right?” “Liyah.” He said and paused. He took a deep breath and went back on, “I know exactly what that feeling is. It’s the same thing I felt when we first met.” “I’m sorry.” I wanted to apologize. All that time, I didn’t know he was that serious. “I was young and naïve. I didn’t know a thing about that.” What if what I was feeling was exactly what he felt back then? What if Alex didn’t care about my feelings like I didn’t care for Nick’s? “It’s okay.” He chuckled. Somehow, he went on smiling. “You know, it was actually the best years of my life. When we started being friends… When we started doing things together… When you accepted me as something to you… they meant a lot to me. I was really happy, Liyah.” “But I fooled you, Nick.” I confessed. I knew that I didn’t really feel anything for Nick. “I accepted being your girlfriend because I wanted you to stop courting me, and I wanted to do it in a way that I wouldn’t hurt you, so I just chose to be your girlfriend, and I played it all up for so long.” “You did great, and I thank you for that.” He said. I didn’t see how what I did could be great in any way. “Even if you say that your feelings weren’t real, I believed them. To me, they were real.” “How is that great? Look at you. We’re a mess.” “I had what was coming at me.” “What are you saying? You don’t deserve that!” I pointed out. “If it’s love, it doesn’t have to hurt like that!” “No, Liyah.” He said calmly. “Love always hurts. If doesn’t hurt, it’s not love at all.” That struck me. What was it all this time that I was so hurt about? Was that pain that kept lingering in my heart because of my dad really love? Is it really love that makes it hurt? “Is it because it’s love that it hurts me when I see Alex with Winnie?” I asked him. “Yes.” He said without a doubt, accepting that I was into Alex. “Even if it hurts me to answer that, I answered you.” “I’m really sorry. I never wanted this to happen.” “I know, right?” he laughed, and I did the same. “It sucks. Guys normally don’t talk about this.” “But you’re not just a guy, Nick.” I kidded. “Are you saying that I’m gay?” “No!” I laughed hard because he guessed wrong. “What I meant was you’re something special to be just some normal guy.” “Oh.” He chuckled back. “Thank you.” “I still don’t know what to do with Alex, though.” “You know, Liyah…” he started again. “Back then, I didn’t know what to do with you either.” “That makes me feel so much special. I never really appreciated it until now, but what did you think you should have done back then?” “Well,” he continued, “I always had this saying.” “What saying?” “Nike.” He said. I wondered Nike like the shoes. “Nike? You mean the shoes?” “Yes, Nike.” He said. “Just Do It! It’s the motto of the Nike.” “Oh. I get it now.” I chuckled. “Just do it, huh?” “Yes, you do it.” He repeated. “You just do what you think you should. I won’t tell you what to do specifically because it’s different between a guy and a girl. But Nike works for both.” “Are you like advertising them in any way?” I kidded. “No, but if I was, I hope I’m doing a good job.” “You are.” I said. “Nike. Just Do It. That’s something.” “Yes, you just do what you think is right.” He continued further. “You don’t care what gets in the way. Just do it!” “Just Do It?!” I exclaimed in a cheerful manner. “Yes, Just Do It!” he screamed back and we both laughed hard. When I felt like Nick had already answered all the shit that was on my mind, I felt like I was ready to face the next days. “Thanks, Nick.” I said, implying that I was going to leave. I started reaching to open the door. “You’re welcome.” He said as I started to open the door to leave. “And I’ll return the keys first thing in the morning!” “Okay.” I laughed as I got out and closed the door. “Good night.” “Good night.” Nick said as he started to drive the car around. I walked back home. The lights were closed in our apartment. Mom was already asleep. Well, of course she was. She had been in two jobs the whole day. I would have been surprised if she had the energy to stay up. I settled in the living room for a moment and sat on our couch. I wondered what Nick had told me: Just Do It. I have several things plans going on in my mind. Should I Just Do It? Well, Nick got this far. Hopefully, I get Alex to this level, too. If that’s so, I’ll Just Do It! |