College Entrance Essay 1 (Revised)

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Listening to a few country songs can give anyone a good idea of where I come from, miles of tiny roads connecting little towns together, corn fields and a substantial amount of cows are the norm for my part of the country, also known as Paola, Kansas. The town population is just over 5,500 people and the high school population being right around 570 kids. Of those 570 I can say I was close with three. Three of the best people I have ever known in my life.
Anna has been my best friend since we were both five. Myself, being the new kid on the block, wasn’t accustomed to anyone my own age being around to play with, let alone willing to jump in the creek at the end of Brookside Drive with me. For ten years of our lives, we spent the days outdoors, trying to find new species of insects and fish. She taught me how to laugh at myself, climb the biggest tree in her yard and most importantly, she is the reason I want to protect our playground, the forests and rivers.
I remember vividly how I met Andrew. Being the awkward, 5’7 seventh grader I was, and not being used to my feet, tripping was not an uncommon occurrence for me. I was lucky he was in the hallway when I fell, because from one klutzy moment, we have been inseperable ever since. In many ways, he is a typical version of a high school guy. He jokes about everything, never does his homework and tries desperately to make eye contact with the pretty girls at school. His actions towards everyone, whether they were considered ‘better or worse’ than he was, is what showed me who he really was. Over the past four years, he has taught me to respect everyone, because who are we to judge what others have been through?
Nikki is my sister, four years older than me and in my mind she has always been the spotlight child. Not in a bad way, though. Honestly she is my hero. Nikki was the one to explain to me just about everything I know now, from what words mean to why our parents didn’t love each other anymore. She has played the role of doctor, teacher, life saver, mentor and supporter through all my life. Because of her, I’m not afraid to try to accomplish anything. She is the founder of my self confidence.
Aside from making me who I am today, the people I’m closest to have made me aware of my dormant possibilities and absolutely positive that I can attain any goal. They have shown me a new view of the world in a colorful perspective. Most importantly, they have shown me the potential I could have in the world, and taught me to not be afraid to go out and show it.
---Revised a bit! Let me know if i can change anything?