What Is and What Should Be

I'm writing this because, like many others, I wish I had said some things to the one I love but I was too scared. I fell in love with my best friend and out of fear of ruining what we had, I kept everything inside. This is me trying to rewrite history in the way it should of gone.

It had been three months. Three months doesn’t seem like a long time when you are adjusting to a new community and finding new friends. Everyone always says that going to college and growing up is when your life starts and high school was just a stepping-stone to the rest of your life.
During our last days in high school, teachers and parents would say to us that many of the people you saw everyday in high school, you would never see again. I didn’t want to never see all these people again. I liked walking down the halls and have my friends call me by my nickname, Dan. It gave me a sense of belonging. I know getting Dan from Dana doesn’t take much skill but since no one calls me that anymore, I miss it. When I left for college, I was excited to start a new chapter in my life but I didn’t want to leave him. Every night for those three months, I went to sleep thinking about Wilson, my best friend. We were best friends all through high school and everyone assumed there were underlying feelings but of course we never admitted them. It scares me how much we know about each other. For years, our entire grade said how he and I would be those best friends who eventually fall in love and get married. I was never completely opposed to the idea. I mean, he’s smart (and by smart, I mean the valedictorian), he has that brown “surfer bro” hair that swoops to one side. He has beautiful green eyes that entranced me whenever he looked at me. On top of his good looks, he has that sense of humor and flirty personality that all girls go crazy for. He always had tons of girls chasing after him and sometimes he’s have brief flings but they never lasted longer than a few random hookups. For years, I watched him go from girl to girl and I knew none of them would ever be good enough for him. Those flings never bothered me because I knew from the beginning which girls he would eventually develop real feelings for. Many of the girls he had flings with hated me because of how close we were but we always just made jokes about it. When one particular, tall, beautiful, volleyball player came into his life, it was the first time I had ever felt threatened. He’s not one to settle down so when he eventually did, I knew he really cared for her.