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My first real attempt at a dialogue driven story. Please let me know what you think. |
"BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ" Jake reaches for his phone in the dark. "Whatever it is, it better be important." He mumbles to himself. He finds it and turns the screen on. The light, blinding him for a few seconds. When he focuses, the phone reads "One New Text Message Received At 2:37 AM". Jake opens the text, It's from Mike, his friend. "Hey, I can't sleep, let's go out and do something, I know you don't work tomorrow. Get up. I'll be there in 5". Jake reads the message to himself a few times, still trying to wake up. He hears a knock at the door. He jumps up out of bed and grabs the nearest undershirt, "This will do" he says. Another knock on the door, "HOLD ON!" he yells as he pulls his jeans on. He rushes to the door and opens it just as Mike is about to knock again. "You really need to learn how to get dressed faster." says Mike, smiling a big toothy grin. "My car is out of gas, we're taking yours" he demands, still smiling. The two get into the car and pull out of the driveway. Still smiling, Mike says "Hey, you look different, did you cut your hair?" "No." Jake answers "Oh...well maybe you just forgot to put on your makeup" Mike says as he laughs. "Heh, yea maybe." Jake responds quietly. "So where do you wanna go Mike?" he asks. "Wait, don't tell me you forgot?" Mike says, waiting for an answer. "Come on man, it's September 4th...my birthday...I'm 21, lets go get drunk." "Its almost 3am, no bars are open" Jake says. "No, I looked it up, I found a 24 hour bar about 40 minutes from here." "40 MINUTES!?" Jake shouts. "The things I do for a friend". Mike turns on the radio and the friends continue talking. Finally they arrive. "See? Look, open 24 hours." Mike says as he points to an old neon sign. "I don't see a way to get into the parking lot" Jake proclaims. "Don't worry about it, just park across the street" Mike responds. They park in the lot of a grocery store across the street and get out. They walk across the lot as Mike tells Jake "You can order whole bottles of stuff, they give you the glasses and the bottle and just leave you be. But that's only in the private rooms, behind the curtain...lets do that". As the cross the road Jake seems both tired and sad. "Come on Jake, wake up, be happy, we get to drink together, and do it legally for a change." Mike says as he walks ahead of Jake. "MIKE WATCH OUT!" Jake shouts, as a car comes inches to hitting Mike. "Whoa...that was almost bad." Mike says, slightly shocked. Jake lets out a sigh. They make it to the bar and walk through the door. "Give us a private room and your biggest bottle of whisky!" Mike demands. "Stay here Mike, I'll go get it." Jake tells him. He walks over to the bartender and requests what his friend demanded. The friends head back to their private room, whisky in hand. A few hours later the friends walk out of the bar. "Man, Jake, I don't really feel anything, guess I'm not much of a lightweight huh?" Mike proclaims. They walk to the car and get in. "I really shouldn't drive." Jake says. "Aw come on, we need to get home. Besides there's hardly anyone on the road at this hour." "Fine" Jake responds. They make it back to Jake's house almost 40 minutes later and get out of the car. As Jake is about to open his front door Mike says "Hey this was fun, let's do it again soon". Jake turns around to face his friend, "Look, I can't do this every year." "Do what?" "THIS!" Jake yells. "This......" The friends stand in silence for a few seconds, Jake continues,"You don't remember do you? You never do. That car? in the road? 7 years ago that car hit and killed you." Mike stands, looking shocked,"What? no it missed me." He says. "No, it went through you. Because you aren't here. No one but me sees you." "But..." "But nothing" Jake interrupts, "Earlier, you said I looked different, that's because I'm not 21, I'm 27. You've been dead for almost 7 years. 7 years ago you sent me the same exact text, and then when you crossed the road, you died. Then every year, same date, same time, you text me and we go out and you almost get hit and we go into the bar..." "But I just wanted a drink" Mike says. "I know" Jake says as he closes the door on his friend. |