Maynika W

Maynika W: By Maynika Webb
I am pretty sure that I'm a sociopath. I feel things, but they're muted. So, maybe just sociopathic tendencies. I have a few tendencies, sociopathic, slut, and self deprecating. On top of impulse control issues and maybe a slight over confidence issues.
Attention, sometimes I also want attention. But, I tend on to act on the wanting, because it's unbecoming. I know I shouldn't, so I don't allow myself to go get that attention I crave. I deprive myself the pat on the head. I think sometimes that I shouldn't, just to see what happens. If I did that, I would be giving into my impulse control issues and if I did that. There would be a whole lot of trouble coming after me. Oh, sadly, it would be so much fun to give in.
I will give an example of a lesser impulse that I have to control. When I walk down the street and a man walks pass me. I have to fight the impulse to punch him. I would love to give in to that impulse one day. I would know exactly what would happen then, that would be glorious.
I like to date. I like to have sex with men. I trend the line of slut. I don't hate myself, I think I fucking awe strikingly, ridiculously, fascinating. All these men were willing and we enjoyed ourselves. Factoring in my looks, it's pretty damn impressive.
Have I mention I day dream about the following; world domination, a place that I think may or may not exist. Along with one very special person that may or may not exist. Either way, he keeps me in line fore the most part.
I am the ultimate dictator, fair but stern and no government or mere person can take me down. I also day dream about my first book tour and rubbing it in everyone's faces.
Yeah, that's right. I'm successful, gorgeous, brilliant. Oh, and did I mention that I fuck like a champion? You also could have had me in my life and you passed it up. You stupid fucking moron. Burn.
Of course, I day dream about being a rock star. I play every instrument, I have a full range and I can dance like my life depended on it. Because, guess what? It does depend on it. No label will own my ass.
I also study people. I don't think humans are all that complicated. Maybe I think that because I constantly people watch and study them. I'll say this, humans are so primal. Oh, yeah, I'm an alien too, didn't you know? Oh, hell yeah!
With all this confidence, you would think, self deprecating? I'm not seeing it. Well, I am, completely. I know realistically, I'm nothing fancy, shiny or special. Other than when I actually want to be. I make fun of myself most of the time. How else am I suppose to stay humble? I know my writing is pedestrian. That's a fancy word for crap. I know there are smarter people out there on this serendipitous rock.
Too honestly believe that I am everyone's' end all be all would be purely delusional. Fun, and entertaining but, never the less delusional.
I am a weird little troll that lives in a cave. I am a space pirate. I am a gypsy. I am a punk. I am a librarian. I am a hellish nightmare. I am the best thing that ever happened to you. I am not the woman you take home to the parents. I am not the woman you marry. I am the one you hope that she's doing okay, but don't actively seek out. I am the woman you secretly masturbate to in bed next to your sleeping wife.
I am awesome. Suck it.