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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1966591-National-Security
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by Ben Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Essay · Satire · #1966591
Satirical Essay about the NSA.
                                                                                        National Security
         The National Security Agency has released a statement saying that nothing could be more Democratic than spying on everyone because they “may need some information for national security” so they “may as well just spy on everyone.”
         The NSA explained that “because people are afraid that they are being singled out by the NSA, the only logical solution is to spy on everyone at all times.  We see the problem of profiling people and spying only on people of certain ethnic descents but by spying on everyone equally this will no longer be a problem”.  They went on to explain that “this is an issue of national security so the freedom of the American people will have to take a backseat”. They did however say that they would prefer to not have to spy on citizens but feel that it is necessary for national security.
Many citizens were not surprised by this statement. The Group GCE (Government Conspiracies Exist) said they have known about the spying for years and are not surprised about the new lengths that the NSA are taking, to know everything that happens to everyone. A member of GCE said of the statement, “We are stunned by how open the NSA is being about this extended effort to watch over us and feel it is bitter sweet After all, if they tell us what they are doing to take away our freedom, it is no longer a conspiracy. I am going to have to find a new hobby.”
         I personally see a very simple solution to make all of this spying unnecessary. If all the citizens just accepted that this will happen and gave the government permission to watch them constantly, then the NSA wouldn’t be put through this moral quandary. By giving the government permission to watch everyone, the concerns about one group being singled out would be resolved, and the government could watch us constantly without any moral dilemma. I would go so far as to suggest that the citizens should help the government watch them. If every person in the country simply wore a camera at all times that would record everything they did then the government wouldn’t have to waste so much time secretly watching people. They could focus on the endless information they are receiving rather than pretending that they are not watching citizens. I can’t see why anyone would object to this plan. After all, the only possible reason to not want to be watched is because you have something to hide. What other reason could there be?
         This new plan from the NSA to watch everyone at all times seems, to me, to be a fantastic way of keeping citizens safe; however, I do realize that some people have a problem with being watched over by the government. These people might say things like, “We are losing our freedom,” “This is a violation of our rights,” “Is our freedom an acceptable price to pay for security?” and other minor complaints about the system. I think that these people and indeed everyone should be thanking the government for taking such a concern in our personal lives that they are willing to spend millions of our tax dollars to watch over us and make sure we are always safe. They have thousands of programs they could be putting our taxes and china’s money into (Medicare, Social Security, ect.)  but those programs only help small groups of the population like the poor, sick and elderly. It is far more important that the government monitors our lives before these “small” groups get help with their “minor” problems.
         I know I will sleep easier at night now that I know the government will be standing over me, watching… for my safety.
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