A penis state of mind

         Out of her car and through the crowd Lola reached the door knob of her favorite coffee shop. A bell sound later, she inhaled the freshly brewed goodness and spotted her mother's white grin in the corner.


- 'Lola darling, it is so good to finally see you! It's been too long! How have you been?'

- 'I've been great actually, living the dream! And how are you?'

- 'Can't complain! Though, I'd be much better if you shared some good news with me! A story about a special friend perhaps?'


Seriously? Not even a full sip from her coffee later, and her mother had already managed to ruin their date for her!


- 'All of my friends are special, mom.'

- 'Oh dear Lord, you and your silly little snap - backs! You know what I'm talkin' 'bout!'

- 'Yes, I do. But that's not something I want to be talking about right now! I came here to spend some time with you, now can we please not turn it into a life lesson?'

- 'Excuse me for being interested in your life! I forget that you don't want your mother as a part of that!'

- 'You are excused!'


She knew had she mentioned being single her mother would have went on and on about how she was a lady, how she needed a man, how she wasn't getting any younger and how her career would not be there to take care of her when she's old and alone! But how did you explain loving life just the way it was to a woman who's been nothing but a housewife all of her life? And, my God, did Lola love her life right now! Success was coming in through every crack, and that wasn't just her career. Just thinking about her sex life inflamed her thighs! She was enjoying herself to the fullest! But she couldn't possibly mention the several men she was seeing to her mother, she'd kill the poor woman.


- 'You see, the fact that you never talk to me about having a boyfriend makes me wonder... I mean, do you even like men at all?'


Oh yes, she absolutely adored men! All five she was sleeping with were equally perfect in bed!


- 'Are you asking me if I am a lesbian?'

- 'Shhhh! Keep it down,there's people here!'


As if the word lesbian was the worst thing that could come out of a person's mouth! Has her mother lost her mind? What was this? And what if she said yes, would that shut her up about getting married and producing grandchildren?


- 'Actually mom, I am asexual!'


Well this certainly wouldn't!


- 'What kind of messed up load of crap is that? Please tell me that's like a female version of a metro-sexual or somethin'?'

- 'It means I am incapable of feeling any sort of sexual attraction toward anyone or anything.'

- 'Dear lord Lola, I knew this big city life wasn't for you! Look what it's done to ya! My baby girl has turned into a damn robot! This is what this society wants you to be, it just makes y'all living machines that'll only work and do nothing else! Tell me you've seen a doctor about this honey?'

- 'It can't be cured mom, it isn't a mental disorder! And there's nothing wrong with being asexual, many people are! It's not like I am missing out on anything either, because I simply cannot feel any sort of sexual attraction! I don't need it and I don't crave it. Simple as that!'

- 'Oh what a load of baloney! That's what them all want you to believe! They fix these damn ideas into your brains, turn ya into their puppets! They brain wash you like this, so you wouldn't get married and have kids and leave work! And don't you be going around thinking you ain't missing out on anything, because sugar, yes you are! You are missing out on a family and a husband to take care of! One day when your maternity instincts start kicking in and it is already too late, you will be sorry! So listen to me and snap out of this craziness of yours before you regret it!'

- 'Mom you are overreacting!! Just calm down! If I ever want to have kids, I can always adopt. And also, I like my job! Asexual or not, I would never give it up for any man out there so I can "take care of him"! And frankly, no woman should feel obligated to do so! Oh and not to mention, I was kidding!'

- 'Oh sweet baby Jesus Lola! Are you trying to kill me? So you aren't what you said you were then? You ain't just sayin' this now to shut me up!'

- 'Oh mother, I know only too well by now that nothing ever shuts you up!'


And her mother never did shut up! Long after their coffee date, as the sun was setting and the sea was kissing the sky somewhere at infinity, Lola and her mother gazed into the horizon.


- 'Hey Lola!'

- 'Yes?'

- 'I sometimes wish I had a penis mind like you!'


Lola smiled. No one moved a muscle but both of them could feel a sudden swarm of warm breeze between them. Neither said another word...