Life is a Disaster (intro)

         I woke up at five o'clock this morning to my alarm clock quietly muttering about some football game that happened days ago, which, for some unknown reason, is still newsworthy. My cat was--as usual--lying on my chest and constricting my breathing. I gave him a pat and pushed him off; rolling over to check my phone. I then commenced operation "Procrastinate Waking Up and Living My Life" until the poor alarm clock finally shut itself up.

         I'm pretty sure that alarm clock would have serious depression issues if it were capable of feeling emotions. I have neglected it for years upon years; favoring the annoyance of a random talk show host's voice at the ass crack of dawn to the painful effort of switching it off. Pressing the button to quite the noise means accepting the fact that, yet again, the sun has risen. With the waking of the world, comes the forced smiles and half-assed efforts at being "normal" as I go through the motions of being an empty shell pining for love and acceptance; AKA a teenage girl.

         As far as life goes, mine isn't so bad. I have a nice house, and the people I call family are amazing. I have a couple of very close friends and I am relatively popular at school. Of course, I'm not part of the "in" crowd, but, by definition, I suppose I am somewhat popular. A large spoonful of the small community seem to like, respect, and get along with me. I also travel a lot. I've seen people and places that some only dream of getting to.

         With all of this in mind, I can still say without any qualms that life is a freaking disaster. Of course, the immediate assumption is that I'm just being a teenager and going through a rough transition blah blah blah; but that's not the case with me.          Yes, I suppose I could just be overreacting and being a drama queen like most juniors in high school. I just don't think that is what's going on here.

         What could I possibly mean by that? Well, for starters, after I spent a good five minutes pulling clothes out of my closet and forcing them onto my body, I went downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. How could breakfast be so "disastrous"? Nina, my "sister" was calmly sitting on the ceiling reading Teen Vogue and mixing her soy cappuccino--which was floating upside-down with her and remaining obediently in the mug--with her finger. Now, I'm not saying she was sticking her finger in the piping hot mug and swirling it around like a little kid; she was simply swirling her finger above (or would it be below?) the cup as she read her magazine. This, of course, is absolutely normal in my household, and normally wouldn't be a problem at all. Then Sam flew in.

         "Flew" isn't really the right word; she bolted in at the speed of sound, grabbed a bagel, and disappeared without a trace. Again, this is perfectly normal and did not cause any harm to me or the family or the house. Of course, then Fiona sauntered in with a sleepy grin and went to look for her bagel. Upon finding the Sam had once again taken the last sesame bagel in the house, the let out an exasperated sigh, and tried to hold in her annoyance as she yelled for Sam. This, of course, lit my orchid on the counter on fire. As per usual, Sam ignored Fi and continued doing her morning "beauty routine". Fi stomped her foot (creating a small crack in the floor) and screamed (causing my poor flower to explode). Apparently, within the nanosecond that she was in here, Sam had managed to slap butter and peanut butter on her bagel and leave crumbs and sticky goo all over the countertop. Not good. Fi is a neat freak, a fact which Sam knows very well and likes to "experiment" with on a regular basis.

         The rest of the morning went a lot like what happened to my flower, just with a lot more screaming and kicking and flying and hair-pulling. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. When I opened them, I was in my mustang at school in my regular parking spot exactly one hour before the bell rings for us to get to class "or else".

         With the morning's not-so-out-of-the-ordinary (at least for us) events, I simply could not wait to get on with the day and see what "awesome" events were sure to go down during school.