Its Back...

                             It's Back...
By: Tadd Bednar






"So...Mr.Burns, you said you... uh... put the gravy on the mashed potatoes?" Officer Beans questioned. "I never said that, and by the way, that is the worst metaphor I have ever heard. But, I wouldn't expect less from a slobbish oaf like you, though," Mr.Burns snapped. Mr.Burns is an old man in his late 60's, who looks like Ebenezer Scrooge. "Well, I could let you rot in jail and put you in the gallows, where I'll chop your arm off and fly it up a flagpole, then the rats will finish you off." Officer Beans snarled. Officer Beans is large and in charge. Doctor says he will not live past 50 because of his weight. He has a small jolly nose, big bushy eyebrows, and a belly the size of a melon. Of course, he is known for his old 80's blue cop car. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, Officer Beans," mocked Mr.Burns, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "One day old man, anyways, you killed the baby right?" continued Beans. "Well yes, but in my defense, I didn't know it was a baby under my rug. I thought that there was a monster in my living room." Mr.Burns exclaimed. "Well, I should throw you in the big house for 2nd degree, but, because I am such a generous, forgiving person, I will let you off with a warning, just as long as you do something for me in the future." Officer Beans said, grinning. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Mr.Burns agreed waving Officer Beans away. Officer Beans hobbled off to his car and got in. "Remember old man, I am always watching," Officer Beans threatened, shining his 'Iowa's Finest' badge, and drove away.


         Mr.Burns remembered what had happened that night. He had been doing the same thing he does every night, reading a book. He was awoken by a blood-curdling scream, every week at midnight for a few weeks. When he finally attacked it, he found out that it was a missing baby, Baby Boe was his name. That cold night was awful. Mr.Burns walked up his porch and went inside to pour himself a cup of coffee. He sat on his kitchen counter and examined his house. Right there, that is the spot where I killed Boe. Over there, is where his lamp and chair used to be. And everywhere, surrounding his house, was the same yellow tape, with the bold 'DO NOT CROSS'. Mr.Burns sighed, "Well, who could think the most feared man in Iowa, could get worse." He set his coffee down. It is very quiet here, Mr.Burns thought to himself. He trudged forward to his old red recliner, and turned on the television. On the news, the same story was on. The old, "Mr.Burns, the baby killing brute." "I didn't mean to do it!" Mr.Burns shouted at the television. "Ugh, what am I doing with my life." He sighed.


Suddenly, the television went to static. "Blasted television signal! In the middle of nowhere, we get horrible signal, while the lards in the city get everything they want!" He growled. Mr.Burns got up and kicked the television. He slowly stopped. He had the sudden feeling that someone was watching him. In the corner of his eyes, there was a shadowy figure with large yellow eyes at the window. Mr.Burns gulped as he grabbed his gun. "Get off my p-p-property," he stuttered. Then, as if the thing was right behind him, he heard a whisper. "Be prepared..." it urged. Mr.Burns turned around, shot, and hit the ceiling. There was nothing there. He turned around surveying the whole room, including the windows. The thing had vanished. "I am just about done with all the ghosts and spirits, it was all fun and games on Halloween, but now, I am mad," Mr.Burns declared.


That night, at Midnight, Mr.Burns was awoken by the loud wind. The window was open. The wind blew in, insisting something. It said, "It's here, run, be gone." Mr.Burns got up to close the window. He turned around and saw the figure in his room. Mr.Burns picked up a lamp, and charged the thing. "Get out!" Mr.Burns shouted. The figure's face changed into the face of Baby Boe. Mr.Burns struck at the thing and it disappeared. Mr.Burns shouted, "What do you want from me?!" On the wall of his bedroom, something was written. He examined it. "Graveyard, tombstone, break," He read. Mr.burns rushed into his garage and started up his truck. He drove down to the old graveyard. Mr.Burns found Baby Boe's tombstone. Mr.burns whimpered, "I'm sorry," and destroyed the tombstone. There was a loud noise and a burst of light, then, the forest was silent. Just as Mr.Burns dragged his feet that-now felt like he was lifting weights with his toes-to the car, he heard the wind again. It told him, "Thank you."


The next morning the police arrived at Mr.Burns's house. "Holy sardines Burns, I saw a big beam of light from your house, so I came to check it out." gasped Officer Beans as he caught his breath after running. Mr.Burns reached over and hugged Officer Beans. "Thank you for everything." Officer Beans pushed Mr.Burns away from him. 'What the? What is going on here? Is there a 'kick me sign' on my back? So help me Burns..." Officer Beans barked, fists clenched. "No, no, I just want to change my ways. Last night, I realized that being mean and bitter does nothing. I learned to be good," pleaded Mr.Burns. "Well, you better be on your way Officer, I know how busy you are." Mr.Burns walked onto his porch deck. "Burns wait, forget the whole favor thing, and I'll drop charges. This whole incident never happened," Officer Beans sighed, taking off his hat, showing his shiny balding head. He got in his 80's blue cop car and drove off. Mr.Burns went inside and got coffee, then laid back in his recliner. He turned on his television. The news anchor announced a new story. "Mr.Burns, wicked to loved." Mr.Burns smiled and chuckled. "Thanks." Mr.Burns closed his old wrinkly eyes, and fell asleep.