The first pages of a children's book I am TRYING to write that details child abuse. |
I don't know why Daddy doesn't live with us anymore. I cry all the time since he left. Sometimes I sit on the front porch and count the cars coming down the street thinking the next one will be him. It never is. I don't know what I did to make him leave. He tells me it's not my fault. I think it is. Maybe he left because I don't play baseball with him. We used to go to the park and find animals in the clouds. We haven't done that in a long time. I miss that so much. Mommy and Daddy were my best friends. Now I am all alone. I beg God to make Daddy move back home. I tell Him that I will always keep my room clean and promise to be a good girl every day. I tell God that I will learn to play any sport my daddy likes. Just bring him back. I get to go to Daddy's apartment on the weekends. Last weekend I asked him to teach me how to throw a ball. We had a lot of fun! I don't like going back home because Mommy cries all the time. I try to hold her hand to make her feel better but she gets mad and screams, "Don't touch me! Just leave me alone!!" I don't guess I can do anything right. My big brother, Toby, is always gone with his friends. I miss him being around to talk to but I'm kinda glad he isn't home much. Every time Mommy screams at me, he screams at her and then she starts crying again. I don't like the screaming. It makes my head hurt. And makes me cry too. I made Mommy a jewelry box at school. I just knew she would love it and be so proud of me. I painted it with her favorite colors. I used purple glitter to put her name on it. She was in a bad mood when I gave it to her. I thought it would cheer her up. But, she told me she didn't like the color and threw it against the wall. It broke into a bunch of little pieces. I started crying because she hurt my feelings. Mommy got mad at me and grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me very, very hard. "No, Mommy. STOP! THAT HURTS!" But she did not stop until she started crying. She sent me to my room. I curled up with Moby, my favorite stuffed teddy bear and cried for my daddy. Before I fell asleep, I thought. "Next time, I will make her something she likes." Daddy saw the bruises on my shoulder and asked me what happened. I lied. I told him that I fell off the bed. I don't want him mad at Mommy. They are always mad at each other. Mommy came home from work really sad again. She went straight to her room. I left her alone because I did not want her to hurt me again. I got hungry and tried to make a bowl of cereal. I spilled the milk on the table and the floor. I was cleaning it up when she walked in the kitchen. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she screamed at me. "I just spilled some milk. Don't worry, Mommy, I am cleaning it up." "YOU LITTLE BRAT!! YOU ARE ALWAYS MAKING MESSES FOR ME TO HAVE TO CLEAN UP! JUST MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. YOU ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG!" I went to my room and cried myself to sleep wishing my daddy was here. I didn't even get to eat my cereal. Mommy woke me up for school. She was being very nice. She brushed my hair and helped me get dressed. She sang our favorite song, "Myrtle the Turtle", as I brushed my teeth. We had so much fun! We had pancakes with maple syrup and scrambled cheesy eggs for breakfast. We danced while we washed the dishes. I didn't want to go to school. I just wanted to stay at home and have fun with Mommy. School was great! I learned how to write my name in cursive and my teacher was proud of me. She put a gold star on my paper! I was happy that my best friend, Jennifer, got a gold star on her paper too! I could not wait to get home and show Mommy. I smiled all the way home thinking about how happy she would be. I ran up the steps of the front porch, skipping every other one to get there faster. I was ready to show Mommy my gold star and then sit at the kitchen table and practice my cursive for the next day of school. I ran in the house with my paper in my hand and a smile on my face. "Mommy!! Mommy!! Miss Holliday gave me a gold star!!" I ran to the kitchen first but she was not there. I went to the living room. Not there either. "Mommy! Where are you?" She did not answer. I went up the stairs to her bedroom and I could hear her on the phone, crying. "Is she going to cry forever?" I thought to myself as I walked down the hall to my bedroom. I sat on my bed staring at my gold star wondering if this was even enough to make Mommy happy again. There must be something I can do, but what is it? I didn't sleep good last night. I had a scary dream. It was a sunny day and Mommy, Daddy, Toby and me were at our favorite park flying kites. We play this game to see who can make their kite go higher. Some other kids were there with their dogs and they were chasing balls and laughing. I was laughing at Toby because my kite was so much higher in the sky than his was. It was so much fun! Until Daddy's kite went higher than Mommy's and she got mad. She started yelling real loud and telling him that he cheated. Daddy didn't seem mad but he pulled his kite down from the sky and walked to the car. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to stay and play or go to the car? I watched to see what my big brother would do. It wasn't long and he stopped flying his kite so I stopped too. I started walking to the car where Daddy was but right before I got there, he drove off. Without us! I stood there screaming for him to come back. "Daddy!! Where are you going? Come back!" But he didn't. He drove until I could not see the car anymore. I fell to the ground with my kite and cried and cried for my daddy. He never came back for us. MORE STORY TO BE ADDED HERE WEEKLY! Reaching out to strangers may seem like a difficult step to make but is one that is necessary to stop the abuse. Rarely does abuse stop on its own without help from professionals. It is up to you, the child, to make that first step toward safety and change. Do not be afraid to make your life safe and enjoyable. If you are a child who has experienced the trauma of emotional abuse from a parent, there are people and organizations who are here to help. When seeking help, it may be best to first speak with a school teacher, principal, or counselor; all of which should be able to provide assistance. If for some reason you find yourself uncomfortable asking for help from your school, please call a hotline that is designed specifically to help. Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 170 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous and confidential. (This is only the beginning of a book I am writing for young children. I plan on writing a series that details each different type of child abuse. I have this on here unfinished because I am not sure if I have what it takes to write for children, so please offer me your honest advice and opinions.) |