Chapter 1

My mind was working at a terribly slow pace and normally it would've been absolutely frustrating, but at the moment, I was too tired to care. I heard everyone and everything around me though I wasn't actually listening and even if I was, it probably would've taken me a while to comprehend what had actually happened. I was finally slipping into such lovely unconsciousness and I welcomed it with open arms.

I had been up all night the night before. The Association had come to my neighbor's house and took a young newlywed couple away. I couldn't sleep that night because all I could think about was their fearful faces as the Association took them away from the safety of their homes. Now, as I fell into sweet sleep their faces still haunted my mind.

"Alaia," With my name being called and my teacher's firm, unforgiving tone, I was brought back into reality. My head shot up from where it had been lying on the desk and my teacher gave me a disapproving look.

"What?" I snapped automatically. The outcome might've turned out better if I had kept my mouth shut, but I was still half asleep and I wasn't thinking properly when I had said it.

"Answer the question." My teacher commanded. I arched my eyebrow and gave her a look of annoyance.

Since my teacher obviously wasn't going to elaborate or repeat the question, I decidedly shrugged and said, "I am clearly exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to listen to your question."

I might have said that in a sharper tone than I meant to, but I was one of the best students in this class and I did all my work. Why couldn't she let me have this one time to rest? My teacher gave me a look that already told me what was going to happen next.

I stood up reluctantly and walked to the front of the classroom. A few students gasped or whispered, but I could feel every pair of eyes burning into the back of my head.

We all watched as our teacher opened her desk drawer and pulled out a ruler. Unfortunately, it wasn't like any other ruler. This type of ruler was made specifically for discipline. A group of researchers had thoroughly examined and experimented with raising children to get the best results. One of their conclusions proved that harsh disciplinary actions help children grow as people. Personally, I like to think I would've turned out just as good a person without harsh disciplinary actions.

The special ruler had tiny, almost unnoticeable pricks in it which caused the experience to be that much more painful. I was completely awake now with the ruler in my sights. Several more students gasped and began whispering again when they saw the ruler. That reaction just made everything more real around me.

"Alaia, you know that those types of comments and the tone you used cannot be tolerated in this Association." My teacher said crisply as she tauntingly tapped the ruler on her desk. And your comments and tone can be tolerated? I didn't say this out loud to her of course, in fear that she would change the punishment to something much worse. I must've made some type of dissatisfying look with my face because my teacher narrowed her eyes at me and her expression turned cold and sour.

I nodded solemnly and bowed my head like a child who had just gotten in trouble for stealing a pencil off the ground. I heard her heels click-clack on the floor as she moved toward me and commanded me to put my hands on the desk. I did as I was told and placed my hands out spread on her desk. She raised her ruler in her hand and slammed it down against my knuckles. I winced in pain and she did it again. This time, it broke skin and blood leaked out of my knuckles. I continued to look down because if I looked up, I'd see my teacher's cold expression and the other students' surprised faces. I couldn't bear to look at anything except my hands at that moment.

After she finished, my teacher asked, "Did you learn your lesson?" Her voice sounded lighter, but to me it still sounded cold and heartless.

"Yes ma'am, I understand and have learned my lesson. Thank you for helping me." I repeated the correct statement to say when someone asked this question. My teacher nodded her head sharply and returned to address the class.

"This is a lesson for everyone in here to learn and understand. Now you all know which tones and words not to use in this Association because obviously it only causes problems such as this one." She said it so matter-of-factly and it made me want to scream at her. I wanted to leave right then and there, but instead I calmly walked back to my seat and tried to return my attention to my thoughts without looking like it. I'd already learned everything I was learning now from the library. I used to do research there all the time when I was younger and I learned a lot about our Association there. Now there wasn't really anything surprising or interesting to learn in school.

My teacher returned back to her lesson almost immediately and everyone else pretended that they hadn't just witnessed a form of abuse. This was how it always worked. People chose to accept the fact of Association and move on. I didn't want to, but what other choice did I have? If I told anyone that I didn't agree with Association, I'd be shot on sight and that would be explained as well and people would accept it and move on with their routine lives.

Everything was becoming a blur and I realized I was beginning to fall asleep again. I quickly blinked my eyes a few times and tried to face my attention forward at the board. Then the announcement came over the board's speakers marking the end of the morning session. I breathed a sigh of relief and stood up with the rest of my peers. They thought I didn't see, but I noticed as they snuck glances at me and my hands.

"What?" I challenged the sixth person who chose to look at me. It wasn't fair of me to pick him out when he was just like the rest that had glanced at me.

"Nothing," He shrugged nonchalantly. Then, he continued walking with his group of friends. His head was held high as if he had way better things to do than talking to someone who lived with Indefinites. He was definitely living in the rich Definites section of the city. It showed on his face, the way he walked, the clothes he wore, the words he used. Everything about him screamed Definite. I glared at him, envying how unbelievably easy his life was compared to my fucked up mess of one.

Everyone filed out of the room and I was so, so close to leaving when the teacher called my name again. It sounded bitter in her mouth and I chose to ignore the look on her face when I turned around. She looked as if she pitied me. This cold-blooded witch pitied me?

"Yes?" I replied in as nice of a tone as I could manage. She didn't seem to notice how hard I was trying not to scream in her face and walk out.

"You're needed for a meeting at City Hall tonight during this class." She said as if it were no big deal. My face dropped and my walls that I had built around my mind and heart were down for only a moment. I felt naked and vulnerable in front of the Association themselves. I took a huge gulp and nodded professionally before walking away. My teacher didn't even seem to notice my vulnerability and I guess it was a very quick flash because now I had my walls back up around me. To have a meeting planned for you with the people in City Hall; that meant bad news and everybody knew it. Some hoped for good, but most of us knew better than to hope because the Association always said that hope will only bring disappointment. We all learned not to get our hopes up about anything.

Nobody talked to me, but they still snuck glances and whispers. I glared at everyone I saw who did that. If they had something to say, they mine as well have said it to my face because I was not in the mood for passive-aggressive behavior.

As I boarded the train to Tabrillin, my mood slipped. I allowed myself to be a bit tired before I had to keep up the charade of happiness when I entered my house. Some people from my school entered this train with me, but the only looks they gave me were ones of sympathy and pity. I glared at them, too, because I didn't want their sympathy and I didn't want their pity.

My house wasn't much of a home at all. When people asked me what my home looked like, I'd always reply, "I don't have a home." Of course, they thought that meant that I was homeless and in a sense, I was. I had a house, but not a home, and there was a huge difference between the two words.

There was little room to move in my house. It was definitely filthy and messy, but it was also because the house itself was very small. The kitchen was probably the biggest room in the house and it was only as big as two medium sized tables put together. My room was the smallest and cleanest room in the house. People often knew the Indefinites as filthy and impure, but I tried my hardest to keep my room clean because I couldn't stand sleeping in the filth.

When I got to my house, I saw Lora sitting on the floor with a few pieces of paper in her hands. I glanced at her and continued walking. Then I realized something on one of the papers: the City Hall symbol. It was a small, golden colored ring with a red slanted slash through the middle of it.

"What are those papers for?" I asked Lora. Lora was my "mother", but she didn't give birth to me nor did she ever really take care of my sister and me growing up. Association wanted us to call the people who took care of us by mother and father, but Lora never cared that I always called her by Lora.

Lora shrugged and handed them over to me. I quickly shuffled through them and my heartbeat increased by the second as I read each word:

To the Avalos Family,

We are deeply honored to inform you, Lora Avalos that your daughters, Alaia and Leila Avalos, have been summoned to a meeting in City Hall. This meeting will be taking place during evening school hours, so they will report to City Hall instead of continuing onward to school. All teachers have been notified and will inform them of any missing work that they must know of.

They went into more detail about what we must wear to this meeting in City Hall, but I didn't really read it. I was much too shocked to comprehend the rest of the letter. I looked at Lora and she shrugged again as if she didn't even care. I wouldn't have cared either, not as much as I did now anyway. Now they were getting my sister involved and that wasn't okay with me. Of course, who was I to defy Association? I couldn't do a thing about it and that made me even more frustrated.

I folded the letter and shoved it into the pocket of my ragged clothes. I sighed and tried to calm myself down as I went into the kitchen. I began fixing a quick meal for lunch. It was the usual food Association gave us to eat, oatmeal and raisins. They wasted the plentiful and good-tasting food in Lirewan and definitely Astilaviel. Nobody cared about the Indefinites in Tabrillin; no one ever did, but to me, we were all people and that should be all that mattered. Of course, that's not the way Association worked.

When I had set the table and placed the small bowls of oatmeal and raisins in their rightful places on the tiny table, I heard the door click open and shut. I closed my eyes, knowing who it was. I'd been dreading this moment since I had read that letter. No. I had been dreading this moment since I was born because I knew it would happen eventually. It always did, at least it always did to people like me.

Leila entered the kitchen looking more worn than ever. She glanced at me and I glanced at her. Then she ran to me and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the gesture of the much needed hug. She wasn't my biological sister, but she mine as well have been. She and I were closer to each other than to anyone else.

She stepped back and looked me up and down as I did her. We always did this to make sure the Association hadn't damaged us in anyway. I sighed and looked into my older sister's deep blue-grey eyes.

"Leila -" I began but Leila interrupted me.

"I know. I'm going to the meeting this evening in City Hall." She finished for me.

"I'm going too," I say weakly.

Leila looked at me sharply and replied, "No you're not."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the letter that I had shoved in there. Then, I gently handed it to her. I watched her face fall as she read it and looked at me. I nodded, knowing exactly what she was thinking. We were going to die. Who knew what we did? The Association didn't need a reason.

Leila pulled me into a long hug again. I held her, too, thinking of how lovely Leila was and how it was such a waste of beauty to execute her for no reason. Her long, strawberry blonde hair was always soft and elegant as were her sharp and alert blue-grey eyes. Her skin was light and gentle. Compared to me, she could've been a model. My long, dark chestnut colored hair and bright blue eyes was no match for her lovely locks and gorgeous eyes. My skin was tanner and rougher than hers. I always envied her as a child. She was much prettier than I was.

"It's going to be okay, I promise." Leila whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair in a comforting gesture.

I pulled away and looked Leila in the eyes. "I'm not brainless, Leila. I know we're going to die and I know they're going to kill us. This isn't a meeting. It's an execution." Leila nodded sadly as she listened intently to what I had to say. Once I finished, she held my gaze for a moment longer before speaking again.

"At least we die together," Her words came out carefully and whispered. I nodded in agreement with her. This didn't feel like my life. I felt like I was watching someone else through a window, but no matter how I felt, I knew this was real and this was how it was. The Association did what they wanted and would take whatever was required to fulfill what they wanted without so much as an apology.

Lora walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table to eat her oatmeal without as much as a glance at us. Leila and I looked at each other, sighed, and sat down to eat with Lora. She didn't say anything about the meeting we were to attend this evening. There was nothing to say anymore because she knew what it meant, too.

After we all had eaten, the announcement came on through our speakers on the walls saying it was time for recreation activities and work. Leila and I parted ways. She had to go to work and I was off to recreation activities.