Cold Play

Coughing and hacking and draining of sinus;
most people think a bad cold is a minus.
But I will tell you with snot colored green,
I found some new uses for Vaseline.

Sneezing and snorting with sputum abiding;
it was as if my nostrils were colliding.
Yet jelly of a petroleum base,
placed on my nose made a happier face.

I felt my energy diffuse like vapor;
my constitution thinned like toilet paper.
But with some Vaseline gracing my nose,
I paid the bank before it could foreclose.

And with ague* causing muscle vibration,
I was an earthquake in my sickly station.
Thus I put Vaseline on knees and feet,
so there’d be less friction beneath the sheet.

My eyes were itching and watering greatly;
(mild my manner yet it wasn’t stately).
Vaseline came to my aid by and by;
it soothed the itch and made eye spigots dry.

With fascination I rubbed my poor shoulder;
(simple the pleasures for us who are older.)
I was becoming a gooey physique;
my, Vaseline, how you bolster the weak!

Soreness of throat with inflamed epiglottis;
gargle with salt water like Grandma taught us.
I rubbed some Vaseline where I was red,
then with a sneeze I shot out of the bed.


*ague....(ā′gyo̅o̅)

28 Lines [Rhythm: 11-11-10-10]
Writer’s Cramp
March 30, 2014