A Child Behind The Walls

I look into a reflection and gaze at the image I once possessed.
A woman child, with large sparkling eyes full of eagerness and life
So transfixed, with what I seen, my hand moves to touch her face.
Feeling my heart lurch, identifying her every emotion and knowing where she will go.
A soft ache, throbs in time with my heart beat and tears, threaten to fall.
I feel numb and as cold as the forgotten image that my hand rests upon.
No warmth from a human touch, just the cold unforgiving surface I look at.
Forever trapped behind the fragile glass and she smiles at me, watching one tear slip down my cheek.
A sob breaks out, from my constricted throat.
As I witness the images of the world she must live through, play out behind her.
Angry voices, with judgmental words and cold emotions.
A man who does the unspeakable and a baby cries.
Behind her, she hears another man's voice speak to her and we both respond
I hear his voice, to this day and I feel something come alive once again.
Hurt and love, flows through me and I look at her with sympathy.
Why did I have to love something, I could never have?
I hear the words, she spoke to him once, on much friendlier terms.
"I always hate having to give up everything I want, because of what I have to do for everyone else."
He did not understand, that is what I did for him.
I kept a monster away, keeping a the crying child safe and cut my own heart out, in the process.
To keep him safe and far away.
So I could find my own escape and do what I wanted to do for myself.
So, I sucked up the criticism and judgmental words.
I did not explain myself to an angry world or pull him back into the arena.
Even though, everything people said I should do, I had already started before the first word was spoken.
I learned who was my friends and who were not.
I had to only tell one willing lie, to the one who most mattered.
One lie, to keep him safe and far away.
"No, he is not hitting me."
Which I said, to keep the monster from my child and the one who mattered the most.
My hand slides across the smooth cold glass and my past self, fades away.
I look into the image and see myself again.
Older and wiser.
Promising myself, that I will never become trapped by marriage again.
I did a good job, at hiding my girl away and no one noticed she faded away.