Tellin' it Like it Is (I won't hush)

          The first memory, was it climbing out of my crib and fumbling into the living room to get a bit scolded for doing so, or was it the time I remember being at the ocean beach around eight months and the sand storm hit so terribly that I cried because the sand hit my legs so hard as I sat on my Mama's hip as she ran to the car, I remember it hurt, the sand felt like it was digging into my leg skin. We were on the beach so it was a far run and that windy sand shit hit my legs so fiercely I cried...I remember many years later talking with her about it and Mama does not see how I could remember, but I remember everything.
         Ok the next memory at the front of the "Long time Gone memory list" I had a bad fever I was sick as shit, and Mama she was so worried about me...she did all she could, we were not rich you see, not even close to it, Mama took care of me and she did everything she knew to do, but it did not stop him from firing his shotgun into the wall beside where we were held up, no it did not matter to him in that moment at all. All that mattered to him in that moment was that I stopped crying, but his stupid ass didn't realize a gunshot to the area would only make me cry harder...Ha ..I laugh at that kinda shit now..Oh by the way, ya'll can sit here and correct my grammar all you want to...if I was worried about that, and if I was still gonna hold onto what my view of things might make ya'll feel a certain way, then I guess I would not be writing this now, because it will not be easy to read or think about. It is not about redemption, it is not about salvation, it is not about anything other than telling a story, a story that I want told, and damn it I will tell this story how~ever~the~hell~I~wanna~tell~it!!