"Miss Rosie" Modelled Poem

Please don't criticise on all the wrong punctuation, I tried to follow exactly how the original Miss Rosie poem goes like. I believe that Lucille Clifton made this poem with very little punctuation for a reason, can you figure out why? Enjoy these two lovely poems!

Original Poem ~


when I watch you
wrapped up like garbage
sitting, surrounded by the smell
of too old potato peels
or
when I watch you
in your old man’s shoes
with the little toe cut out
sitting, waiting for your mind
like next week’s grocery
I say
when I watch you
you wet brown bag of a woman
who used to be the best looking gal in Georgia
used to be called the Georgia Rose
I stand up
through your destruction
I stand up

Lucille Clifton


Parodied Poem ~


when I think about you
it’s mind numbing like a brain freeze
drinking, engulfed by the smell
of tobacco and tea
or
when I think about you
In the devil's army
trying to find where you belong.
selling, praying
drugs and Satan mix too well
I cry
when I remember you
you helpless Uneducated man
who used to be the most imaginative kid around
used to put a smile on my face
I’m praying for you
through your desolation
I’m praying for you

Pertius-Scriptor