Best Friend's Brother - Chapter Five

         My alarm woke me up but it was so faint I wasn't sure I was hearing it at all.  I stretched and yawned, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.
         I swung my legs out of the bed and was instantly aware of the pounding in my head.  I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face, distinctly aware of the fact that I wasn't wearing any clothing.
         I scooped up the first piece of clothing I found – the shirt that Matt was wearing last night – and put it on.  I scooped my dress up off the ground and snuck out of the room.
         I made it into my room and turned the alarm off right before running into the bathroom to throw up.  Maybe drinking so much wasn't such a good idea on a work night.
         I quickly hopped in the shower and washed my hair to get all the grime from last night out of it.  Once the shower was done I towel dried my hair and got dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white blouse because it didn't take any thought and my head hurt too much to think.
         I folded Matt’s shirt and brought it downstairs with me, throwing it onto the floor in his room as I walked past.
         I walked down to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses.  Once they were filled with water I downed the one and refilled it to sip while I brought the other glass to Matt.
         I knocked on his open door and he moved around on the bed.  “Hmm?”
         I walked into the room and held out the glass of water.  “It’ll help with the hangover.”
         He sat up and rubbed his eyes.  “What time is it?”
         “About quarter to seven.  I have to go to work soon so I thought I’d say bye before I left.  And bring you some water so your hangover isn't too horrible.”
         He looked at the bed beside him then to his clothes on the floor.  He seemed confused about what he saw and I wasn't going to clear things up for him.  His eyes fell on me and I felt my cheeks heat up.  He cocked his head to the side and then looked back at the bed.  “Ah, did anything happen last night?”
         I lifted the glass of water to reclaim his attention and he mumbled his thanks as he took it. 
         “Anyways, I have to go in order to get the manuscript in on time so tell Whit I say hi when you see her later.”
         I scurried out of the room before he could repeat his question.  I made it as far as the hallway before I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.  There was no way I’d be able to tell my best friend that I just slept with her little brother. 
         I took a deep breath and continued down the hall to where I had left my work stuff.  Picking up my purse I checked to make sure I had my phone and the manuscript.  Once I knew for sure I had both I left the house leaving my spare house key and a note taped to the back of the door.

         The drive to work was uneventful.  I spent the whole time thinking back to the previous night and wondering if we had used protection.  I couldn't remember if we had but I was praying we weren't that stupid.  It would be hard enough for me to talk to Whitney without explaining to her how stupid I’d been.
         I was passing Hilary on my way to Jones’ office when my phone rang.  “Hello?”
         “Claire?”
         I heard the note of panic in Matt’s voice and wondered what was wrong.  “What’s up?”
         “Why’s there blood in my bed?”
         I froze just inside Jones’ empty office.
         “Claire?  Are you still there?”
         I swore under my breath and placed the manuscript on Jones’ desk with a note.  “Don’t worry about it, Matt.”
         “How can I not worry about it?  What did we do last night that caused me to bleed?”
         I swallowed.  “Give me a sec to get to my office.  And don’t freak out.”
         “Why shouldn't I freak out?  Claire, what happened?”
         Hilary looked up when I walked up to her desk.  “Good morning, Miss Rayne.”
         I smiled at her.  “Good morning Hilary.  Hold my calls for the next hour; I have a little problem I need to deal with before I can get started today.”
         “Sure thing,” she said as I walked into my office.
         “A little problem?” Matt said into my ear.  “There’s enough blood here that it’s more than a little problem.”
         As soon as my office door was closed I leaned against it and sank gracefully to the floor.  “Relax, Matt.  The blood isn't yours.”
         “How can it not be mine?  If it’s not mine then it has to be –”
         “It’s mine, okay?  Just leave the sheets where they are and I’ll deal with it when I get home tonight.”
         I heard his intake of breath.  “You can’t be saying what I think you’re saying.”
         I nodded even though he couldn't see me.  “That’s exactly what I’m saying, Matt.  That is exactly why I need to talk to Whit, preferably when you aren't in the city.”
         “What do you expect me to do about it?  Am I just supposed to pretend nothing happened last night when I see her later?”
         “Please.  I have to talk to her about this and I don’t want her to freak on you.”
         “She’s my sister, Claire.  How am I supposed to act around her today?  She’s going to know something’s up.”
         I brought my knees to my chest and rested my head on my knees.  “I’m sorry.  I just have to tell her this.  What kind of friend would I be if I didn't let my best friend know when… you know.  I can’t just let her hear it from someone else even if that someone else is her little brother.  She’d kill me if I wasn't the one to tell her.”
         “Stop bringing up the little brother bit, please.  That’s not helping at all.”
         “Well you are three years younger than me.  It’s hard to forget that.”
         “It’s two and a half years, Claire.  And it’s not such a big deal.  Maybe it was a big deal when you were in grade nine and we met when you came over with Whitney but it really shouldn't matter anymore.  We’re both adults, isn't that enough?”
         I sighed.  “Fine.  Give me until five and if I haven’t told her by then I guess I can’t expect you to keep it from her.”
         “I’m meeting her for lunch.”
         I groaned.  “This is not happening.  I cannot deal with this right now.”
         “Look, I’m sorry about this.”  He took a deep breath before continuing.  “If I had known that it would be this hard on you I wouldn't have forced you to do anything.”
         I laughed and my laugh sounded bitter even to me.  “You didn't make me do anything, Matt.  You tried to get me to say no but I wouldn't.  There were just too many reasons for me to say yes and God did I want to.  How was I supposed to say no when you looked so damn good last night?  You were so sweet about everything and I just thought ‘Well, why the hell not?’  It’s my fault we’re in this mess which is another reason I want to fix everything.  I’m just sorry that the shit is going to rain on your head, too.”
         He was silent for a minute.  “Can you repeat that?”
         “What part?  The 'I’m sorry'?”
         He laughed and it sounded like he was giddy.  “No, not that part.  The part where you wanted to say yes.  I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
         I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.  “God, I wanted to.  Okay?  I wanted to sleep with you like I've never wanted anyone else before.  Kind of explains why I did it, huh?  But God, I am so sorry about this.”
         “Why are you sorry?”
         “Because nothing can happen between us.  I can’t be with my best friend’s little brother.  I told you years ago that it would be awkward and that’s still true.  I’m so sorry that it even happened.”
         He sighed.  “Don’t be.  I still don’t understand why it you think it would be awkward but don’t be sorry about last night.  Damn it, I wish I could remember what happened.  I’m actually kind of happy I didn't just imagine last night even though I can’t remember everything.”
         I felt tears threatening and I knew I had to end this call sooner rather than later.  “Please don’t say that.  I can’t deal with it right now.”
         “Claire, I’m not sorry about last night and I don’t think I ever will be.  You have no reason to feel guilty about it.  It’s not like it’s the first time I've slept with someone.”
         I couldn't help but laugh at that.  “Lucky you.”
         He chuckled.  “Please don’t be upset at me, okay?  I won’t bug you about last night if that’s what you want but don’t be sorry about it.  I've been trying to get you to sleep with me since I was eleven.”
         I smiled even though I felt the first tear fall.  “Thanks, Matt.  I’m not upset at you, I promise.  I’m upset at myself for acting on feelings that I kept insisting I don’t have because I know I shouldn't have them.”
         He was silent for a minute.  “Are you crying?”
         “No,” I said wiping my eyes.
         “You so are.  What did I say that made you cry?”
         I shook my head knowing that it wasn't what he said but what I remembered from last night.  I remembered thinking about telling him to grab a condom but not saying it.  I remember thinking screw it as he kissed me for the hundredth time.  I remembered wanting a baby so badly that I refused to remind him that condoms even exist.
         “Claire?”
         I sniffed and wiped my eyes again.  “It’s nothing.  It’s a girl thing and I swear I’ll stop crying in a second.”
         “You’re not the kind of girl to cry over nothing.  What’s wrong?”
         I shook my head again.  “It’s not your problem.  It’s nothing, I swear.  I’ll get over it in a minute.”
         He was silent again as I regained control of my breathing and the tears slowed.
         “Just tell me.”
         “No, it’s nothing.  I’ll get over it in a second and then you’ll laugh at me for crying about nothing.”
         “Claire,” he growled.
         “Look, I have to go.  I’ll call Whit and tell her about what happened but I really have to start working now.”
         Another pause.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”
         “Positive.”
         “Then I guess I have to let you go.  Call me if you need to talk.  About anything.”
         I smiled.  “Thanks, Matt.  Try to behave yourself and don’t destroy my house while you’re there.”
         He laughed.  “I make no promises.  If I don’t destroy the place can I stay here for the rest of the weekend and save money on the hotel room?”
         I knew I should tell him no but I couldn't make myself do it.  “I’ll call you back when I get off the phone with Whitney.  If she isn't going to kill us then you can stay over the rest of the weekend.”
         He laughed.  “You’d better be great at getting your way with Whitney if you think she won’t want to kill us for last night.”
         I smiled.  “You’re the one who had better hope I’m able to survive if you want to spend the night again.”
         There was a knock on my door.  “Miss Rayne?  I know you didn't want to be interrupted but Whitney’s on the phone and she wants to talk to you.  She says it’s urgent or else I wouldn't be bugging you about it.”
         I swore under my breath realizing that I’d have to deal with Whitney right now.  “Give me ten seconds then send the call through,” I said standing up and crossing the room to my desk.
         “I have to go,” I said again.
         “So I heard.  Who’s on the phone?”
         “Whitney.  Wish me luck.”