Retired

Retirement

I’ve been looking forward to my retirement since I was about 40.  That was the year my mother retired from her job.  She was delirious with delight to do so.  I began saying regularly, “I wish I could retire.”  To which Mom would invariably reply, “Don’t wish your life away, Sugar.  it will happen soon enough.  Do work you enjoy and enjoy your work.” 

I took her advice about work.  I was employed as a counselor in an elementary school.  I loved the kids and I loved the families.  Sometimes the teachers bugged me with antiquated attitudes and the inevitable paperwork was a royal pain.  Those took back seats to the rambunctious, enthusiastic, open, and delightful children – especially the youngest ones.  The troubled ones or the ones who got in trouble had their charm that I could easily spot.  I couldn’t always turn things around for them but sometimes things did get better. Those were the best of the best times.

I was determined to retire ‘at the top of my game’ rather than down sliding for the last year or two as I had seen colleagues do.  I announced my retirement this year in January and retired at the end of the school year in June.  I am 58 and it’s possible to retire even though one loses a sizeable portion of one’s teacher’s retirement (I know, we are lucky to have a retirement fund).
Other teacher friends were surprised and perhaps jealous but I kept doing what I do best and, miracle of miracles, almost managed to keep up with paper work and report-writing.  At odd times in the evenings at home as I struggled to write reports from school, I would find myself thinking about luxurious long baths, sleeping in past 6 AM on weekdays, and generally ‘letting my hair down and having fun.’

That was then and this is now.  I have been retired for three long months.  And I do mean LONG.  I have found that I can only take so many bubble baths, read so many good books, and spend so many minutes or hours petting my Golden Retriever, Amos.  He is and has been my best friend for 5 years.  Yes, we go for walks, and to the dog parks.  I’ve even taken him on a vacation to Cape Cod.  But somehow it all feels fruitless and empty.  And, by the way, I’m not at all good at sleeping in.  I waken about 7AM each day – admittedly later than during employment years.
Most of my friends are working – some happily and some not so much.  The majority of them are married with kids anyway so their lives when off work are harried and full. 

Of course I have hobbies:  I knit, I do some sewing, I like to read, and I like to sing.  The singing thing is best done in a group and I have yet to find a group near my home that strikes my fancy.  Some are too ‘highbrow’ for me and others too filled with popular music, etc.  If you’re getting the picture that I’m fussy, you’d be right!  What I need are available friends – probably retired women like me. 

I’m trying to think outside the box to avoid boredom and the dreaded depression. Recently I joined Match.com even paid the membership fee to reach out to women in this area with whom to do fun things like go out to lunch or dinner, go off to a movie, take in a play, drive to a nearby picnic site, etc.

What about men, you may ask?  I’m simply not interested in men.  I am a lesbian though working in public schools made that aspect of myself pretty ‘closeted.’  I have had short-term relationships over the years but they didn’t work out because of my fear of being ‘discovered’ as a lesbian.  Fear is SO LIMITING.  My mom and my sisters know about me but have not interfered with my decision to be on my own.  They are also supportive of my Match.com membership.

These days I’m spending a LOT of time on my computer looking at profiles and pictures and drafting letters to women who appear interesting.  Most of them do NOT write back and I’m presuming this means they are ‘lurkers’ on the site but haven’t paid the money to be able to respond to email from others.  There are a lot of lesbian women everywhere!!  More than I ever dreamed possible.  Many of them live across the country, fewer in my state, and even fewer within an hour of my home.  But there are some!  I intend to befriend some of them.
. . .

Now it’s December and three more months of retirement have FLOWN past.  Yep, I’m getting my sea legs under me and actually am enjoying retirement.  I’ve met a handful of interesting women through Match and have gone on bike rides, out to eat, to a play, and sat and chatted with various ones.  Then I met HER.  She’s the special one I didn’t expect to find.  We are compatible in most things.  She loves her dog and our two dogs have been together occasionally.  They like each other.  It’s a miracle!

My special friend is so smart and knows a lot about many things yet never comes off as a brainiac.  Her sense of humor is great and she, like me, enjoys eating and cooking.  She’s an artist and paints wonderful oil paintings.  I am in awe of her art ability.  She’s just plain fun to be with.  We spend a lot of time together; I guess you’d call it dating at this point.  Who knows where it will lead?

Between my times with her and volunteering as a helper in a kindergarten class, my days are pretty full.  I’ve also enrolled Amos in an evening agility class which is fun for both of us and keeps us fit and active.  Retired life is good and getting better.  HURRAY

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