Take a sad song and make it better pt 2

I may have made a minor error in judgment when I arrived at the restaurant a couple of minutes early, but damn it my nerves got the best of me. I had eaten maybe a yogurt and a bowl of cereal all day so when I chose to order a drink right away I sort of over estimated my alcohol tolerance because within ten minutes I had a pretty strong buzz going for me. Then as soon as I finished my first jack and coke I ordered another one, sipping it almost as quickly as the first.
“Carter?” A voice says from behind me as I down my third cocktail in the last fifteen minutes. I don’t expect it though so I nearly spill the whole thing all over myself. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry…” After stumbling out of my seat, cursing underneath my breath I almost lose my balance and this stranger helps me before I completely lose my footing.
“Jesus Christ on a cracker!” I shout almost but not totally creating a very awkward scene in the middle of this rather classy place. In that moment I wish I could call Natalie and yell at her, see this is why I stay in and watch Friday night lights. I clearly am just a walking disaster at this point in my life, not meant to venture anywhere beyond my bedroom.
“Whoa, hey are you ok?” The guy asks steadying me and when I look up from my ruined dress I am thrown off a little by his eyes, his incredibly big, blue eyes.
“Yeah…I’m ok…” It’s all I can say because the thing is and I don’t know if it’s my beer goggles but he is very good looking. Like, gorgeous in fact and I have zero idea of what else I’m supposed to say to this person beyond an awkward hello.
“You’re Carter right?” He asks and when I nod he smiles, and what a god damn smile it is. It’s sweet and endearing yet incredibly sexy at the same time. “I’m Jack.” Shit. This is Jack? What the damn hell?
“Shut up.” This is what I blurt out, a) because I am still in shock by his beautiful face and b) I am very, very intoxicated.
“I’m sorry what?” He responds unable to contain his laughter and then I realize he’s still holding onto me which though not even slightly romantic at all it’s kind of nice, just being close to another person like this.
“Sorry…you’re just…I mean have you seen yourself? You’re a freaking babe man.” Ok I don’t really have a filter in general so add the booze and i will literally say the first thing that pops into my head. Jack doesn’t seem to mind though although he looks mildly embarrassed by the comment, bashful even.
“Well you’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself.” He responds and again I’m aware of his arms, strong arms by the way, that are around me and I get nervous again, pulling away and trying to get my shit together unable to deal with the compliment. “You look beautiful.” His smile is so genuine that I get kind of lost in it for a second but then snap out of my drunken daze.
“Thank you.” I say, though hearing the words come from Jack and not Eric feels kind of strange. Part of me wants to reach for my drink and avoid him for the rest of the night but he seems sweet and I would feel bad for being a dick to the guy for no reason at all.
“You’re welcome. So what do ya think? You wanna grab some food? I hear this place has amazing…um…rabbit…” He says only sounding like he partially means it and honestly the idea of eating Thumper make me a little queasy.
“Are you a big rabbit fan?” I ask curiously as he helps me down from the stool and I make sure to grab my purse, certainly not needing to drunkenly forget that somewhere again. Jack smirks then glances at the ground for a second like he’s deciding how to respond.
“Ya know what that’s just what Mike told me to say, supposed to make me sound more sophisticated or some bull shit…I actually have zero desire to eat something I had as a pet when I was a kid.” He was honest, I liked that.
“This is gonna sound a little random and I’m just taking a shot here but are you opposed to just going to some crappy dive bar and ordering a bunch of fried food that’s really bad for you?” I blurt out without giving it a second thought because truthfully I didn’t even want to come to this fancy ass place, Natalie and Mike chose it.
“Seriously?” He asks, eyebrows raised making this incredibly cute confused face that must get him out of trouble often. I doubt anyone could stay mad at a puppy face like that. “Because that sounds fucking amazing…” I laugh at his response glad to see he’s got a mouth like a trucker much like myself.
“I have another request and it might be an odd one because I’m already pretty fucking buzzed but just here me out…” Loosen up they all told me, have some fun. I deserve it right? Why not make stupid decisions with an incredibly attractive man?
“I’m all ears.” He’s game already, I can tell. From what little I know about him, ex army, wounded in battle, having a rough time adjusting back into this life we all call normal, he deserves some fun too.
“What do you say that tonight we just drink copious amounts of booze and make some mistakes?” I don’t know why I am saying this but I guess lately I’ve been feeling a little reckless, not knowing how to express myself and my feelings so I would just stay inside, not wanting to bother anyone anymore with the pain I still feel. At a certain point it almost felt like everyone got tired of hearing about how much I still missed Eric, so I think doing something dumb is exactly what I need. I haven’t had a chance to spiral, really just be irresponsible instead of the dutiful widow. Jesus Christ am I really a widow? At twenty five?
“Ya know what Carter?” Jack says as he slips an arm around my waist, which I kind of like. He smiles down at his feet for a second as we begin to walk out of the place. “I think that sounds like a fantastic idea. In fact, the first round is on me.”
~~
Jack
She was certainly something that was for sure, ok she was already pretty drunk but I totally got why. The odds were pretty good she was nervous about tonight and I don’t blame her. Blind dates are awkward enough let alone when you haven’t really been back in the dating world for too long. I’m pretty sure Mike said Carter had been with her husband since they were in high school, so it made perfect sense that she’d start the night off with a couple of cocktails. Hell I could use one myself after the week I’d had, so when she suggested going out and essentially getting drunk I was completely cool with that. It also didn’t hurt that she was in fact as attractive as Mike had led on, maybe even more so. Her smile though, there was something about it, the type of smile that made me want to see it as often as I could. So anytime I could crack I joke I would just to see that smile.
“So what do you think about a get to know you drinking game?” I ask after we walk into this small, dank hole in the wall. It’s a pub with some type of Irish name that’s not really memorable and it reeks of cigarettes but there’s a two for one shot special so we’re both sold.
“I think that sounds awesome. Hey…” She motions for the bartender an over weight middle aged woman with short hair and huge tattoo of a cross on her shoulder.
“What can I get ya kids?” She asks, her voice hoarse enough to lead me to believe she’s been responsible for most of the smoky scent.
“We will take four shots of tequila please.” Carter says excitedly and I know this girl is going to be trouble, but in a good way. “Alright so what’re we playing?” She asks turning back to me, her eyes lighting up. “Wait no don’t answer because I know the perfect game.”
“Oh really?” I say waiting for her to gather her thoughts, she clearly forgot the name. “My god you’re already wasted, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Yes…it’s a great fucking idea Jack and the game of the evening will be “Never have I ever”.” She says smiling deviously, clearly very proud of herself. “I’ll go first.” She hands me my shot before taking a sip of her beer. “Ok…never have I ever…gone streaking through a suburban neighborhood.” Immediately my palm goes straight to my face, feeling my cheeks turning red in embarrassment. Mike that son of a bitch.
“Well I guess Mike’s told you some stories…” I can’t help but laugh at the memory. “That was a good night.” She laughs shaking her head.
“Drink up then spill, I want details Solider.” Grinning I down the tequila shot then chase it with my beer not really needing the salt or the lime and once I finish Carter is sitting waiting eagerly to hear the streaking story. “So naked in the suburbs…go.”
“Ok…” I laugh as I do my best to recall what I can from that night seeing as there was lots of drinking involved. “It was a night or two before I shipped out on my first tour to Iraq and Mike was insistent on throwing me some type of go away party, though he’d thrown me a shit load when we were kids since I moved a lot because the army sent my dad all over. Really most of the time I actually got to see Mike he was throwing me a bon voyage party so this time I didn't really think it was necessary, but he was determined. He rallied a bunch of our old friends from high school including this girl that Mike was madly in love with, Becca. At some point we’re all drunk and naturally this damn girl suggest a rousing game of truth or dare. See Becca was the popular cheerleader type, me and Mikey were sort of on the outside of all that bull shit so when she actually agreed to come to this thing he was thrilled, but the guy could never get up the nerve to speak to her.”
“Really Mike? He seems so confident and cool now. I mean he’s the one who approached Natalie and I love her but she can be a little intimidating.” Carter says and remember the first time Mike told me about meeting Natalie, he was terrified.
“He’s good at faking it, he wasn't always this big, tough guy. He was a scrawny kid, always nervous around the girls. So when it was his turn for truth or dare, despite him saying he was past all that stuff he sorta froze when he got his dare, to kiss Becca. I saw it in his face he was freaking out so I created a distraction, with my naked ass…”
“Oh my god, that is amazing…and by the way…” She raises her glass and drinks the shot as well and needless to say I’m intrigued.
“Really?” I try to hide my surprise but it probably written all over my face because she laughs and just nods.
“Yeah, though my story isn't quite as heroic but it did involve lots of this.” She responds raising her beer in the air. “We were at some house party and everyone else was doing it…”
“Oh ok so you’re one of those type of girls.” I joke but something about her face makes me think I said something wrong.
“I was one of those type of girls yep. You jump, I jump sorta thing…” She pauses for a moment, this sad silence overcoming her and now I just feel bad. I struck a nerve that’s clear but I know she wanted to have fun, I want that smile to come back.
“Did you just quote Titanic?” I ask and it works because I see the corner of her lip go up slightly and then only seconds later she’s laughing again.
“I totally did, didn't I?”
“Yes you did.” The uncomfortable moment has passed and I can tell because she’s ready to play some more and I’m glad. I know I've only known her for about two hours but something told me I didn't want to see her sad like that and if the drinks and jokes kept her happy then I was glad to be along for the ride. We spend the next hour I think, maybe longer I’m not sure but it goes pretty quickly because it’s a lot of fun. Carter is blunt and honest, zero filter and a mouth like a sailor but she’s hilarious. The funny thing is though I get the vibe that she doesn't know how much fun she is, like when she cracks a joke she sort of makes this face like she is second guessing herself. It’s not too obvious but I've always been pretty good at reading people and though she comes off as confident I think some of it might be an act or at least the tequila. “Well Carter weave been sitting here for god knows how long and I have told you a billion embarrassing stories, so I think it’s your turn kid.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to just spend more time talking about the Mexican incident because I feel like there is a lot more to that story…” She was deflecting and I couldn't help but wonder why.
“There are some more details I’m sure but again it was pretty foggy.” She’s smiling, but looking down at her beer distracted as she peels at the wrapper. “Hey…” I reach an arm out and rub her back, just trying to make her feel a little more at ease but she tenses up immediately. “Are you alright? I mean we can head out if you want to.” I don’t want her to think she has to stay. Mike told me all about this past year and how hard she’s had it, so it’s understandable that she’d be a little weirded out by the evening, but it did really seem like we were having fun. Maybe it’s just too much too fast. “I totally get it if you wanna call it a night.” She looks up at me, brown eyes sort of lost, but then shakes her head.
“No, no. I wanna stay. We’re having a good time. You want to know something about me right?” She’s cheerful once more as she searches for a good story, but there is sort of an edge to her voice as she continues. “How about the time my best friend forced me to go out with a new guy practically every week just so I’d have to move on, so I would shut the hell up about that dead guy who I was with for nearly ten years…Shit…” She’s angry, I can see it all over her face but I don’t really know what to say asi watch her cover her face with her hands, aggravated. “Jack…I’m sorry. You’re really nice and I am having fun…”
“Don’t apologize Carter.” There was no need for it. I understood completely why she would feel this way, why she’d be frustrated. “Look, I get it, but the thing is maybe you do just need to relax and have some fun. I mean I know I do. There doesn't have to be any kind of pressure for this to be anything more then two really cool people just hanging out have a good time. Ignore Natalie, I’ll ignore Mike. Sure they mean well but lets be honest they can be a little pushy sometimes. What we do tonight isn’t up to them it’s up to you and me and ya know what if you’re asking my opinion? The two of us deserve to drink our faces off and just have some fucking fun. What do ya say?” Her eyes narrow on me and I can’t really tell what she’s thinking, that is not until her face completely changes and that gorgeous smile reappears in full force.
“I say that you are incredibly good at giving a rousing pep talk. Natalie could certainly learn a thing or two from you.” She laughs and I can’t help but join her. “Is it the whole soldier thing? Do you guys just run around shouting inspirational things at each other?” I smile but drink my beer trying to avoid this topic if I can.
“You could say that.” I don’t know if she notices how sore that subject is but I find an out seconds later because the jukebox starts to play probably the best song in existence.
“Son of a bitch, get up we’re dancing.” I grab her hands, not even giving her the opportunity to object, no I pull her onto that dance floor and twirl her around once then back into my arms wrapping my arms around her waist.
“New York, New York really?” She asks laughing, slightly out of breath.
“Hell yes, Sinatra is the damn man. Come on just listen to this, it’s what’s all about Carter. This city can be fucking magical, it’s full of so many possibilities and he manages to capture all of that hope and excitement in one three minute song? Mind blowing is what that is my friend.” I can tell she doesn't know exactly how to handle my over the top enthusiasm, but she smiles anyway. “They don’t make music like this anymore.” We sway back and forth, still going even as the song comes to an end and the next one plays. This is how it goes for the next few minutes, she leans forward resting her head against my chest neither of us speaking and I don’t mind that. After everything that’s gone on this past week, this is all I need, slow dancing with a pretty girl. It’s what guys my age are supposed to be doing, but it’s hard to keep my focus here because my mind keeps wandering and though I know I’m here with Carter in this crappy bar I can feel myself slipping a little. Slipping back into that hell hole and the images flood my memory, the bad ones but I force them back as I grasp onto this beautiful woman tighter.
“I’m glad I stayed.” She says quietly and I snap out of my mind for a second, so happy she spoke when she did.
“I am too.” I feel myself smile, hoping the dancing doesn't end anytime soon. It’s nice and sort of calming. She looks up for a minute, grinning, her eyes shining in the dimly lit bar light.
“I know I acted a little weird tonight. It’s just I don’t know how to deal with any of this and I have this habit of getting stuck in my head…” She was nervous and rambling so I stopped her.
“Hey you’re fine, I’m having a pretty good time and I like I said no pressure, no expectations right?”
“Jesus Christ you are way too understanding.” She says laughing and hitting me in the chest playfully.
“I’m sorry, I just…there’s just no need to over think any of this I guess? You don’t have to fall in love with me and get married tomorrow, I mean we can be friends right?” I liked her sure but it was pretty clear she wasn't ready for anything other than that.
“I would fucking love that.” Her smile is wide now and I know I've turned this night around and successfully avoided either of us having any type of mental breakdown at least for this evening. There was a lot neither of us knew about the other, but from what I can tell I like her so I think I’ll keep her around awhile.