What I believe--- the big picture wip

I don't fit in; I never really have. I wish sometimes I could be "normal." It must be nice to not receive those looks from people who obviously want to say "Weirdo alert." Fitting into other people's notion of normal seems opposed to who I am, so I avoid this path for the sake of personal comfort and the ability to live cheerfully within my own skin.

I am a Christian. Many people describe their connection to Christianity in exuberant terms. They feel loved, forgiven, joyful. I have another term entirely. Being a Christian is useful. Yes, really. Christians are called to be weird in this world. We're supposed to not fit neatly in this world, to have a perspective that doesn't fit. Earth is only a way station. So, I'm supposed to cultivate strangeness, otherness. Well, hey, I'm great at that. If that's what Christianity is about, I want more.

Actually, there is more to Christianity, but it's the otherness I think about most.How can we inhabit a planet full of other people without forming structures to help us along? We can't; we need to act acceptably toward ourselves and others. Closing doors behind us, brushing our teeth,and sitting down to eat are smaller examples of this. Nothing in that list especially needs to be unusual, even if it can be.

Bigger things, such as marriage, employment, and where we live are bigger decisions and provide more flexibility, more personal choices for us. Yet we still stay within a "normal" framework. Living in a yurt, a tiny house, or a kibbutz is an external difference---we are still living in a home. We need to look around and ask ourselves questions to begin a change. Young children are great at this. Some useful questions for adults include:

Why
How come
And then what
What if
Is it true
When
Why me/him/them
Who

If we can step back and ask the simple questions, then our answers can change us, can lead us into a better knowledge of who we really are and how we can act on this. Being unusual, eccentric, or just plain freaky means we have to think about who we are, not just behave in a certain way. Many actors, musicians, and athletes act outrageously, but that doesn't always demonstrate a real outlook. Sometimes it is an act. I was surprised to learn Lady Gaga likes to cook, a domestic skill that has nothing to do with meat dresses. My original view of her didn't include domesticity. I had to adjust my thinking, and actually came to like her a bit more. The more limited our idea of How Things Are is, the easier we are to shock.

I attended a church one time that had not one member who was from that denomination. We all came from somewhere else, and viewpoints on nonessentials such as lifestyle choices could really vary. We realized this when people learned the truth about my husband. He (gasp)does all the cooking in our house. He's talented and enjoys it, but I never learned to cook. I brought it up a few times at my church, and turned some people's thoughts inside out. I never expected controversy; I couldn't understand why women thought it amazing. It seems those women were expected to provide meals in their homes. My husband received instruction from certain menfolk about how he can't do that. Apparently, it's my job. And, as one fellow put it "You're making the rest of us look bad."

This is a situation where questions can come out to play. Why can't he cook? Why should I? How come this upsets people? Is it true that nothing in the bible says this? Who decided this, and when did it become other people's job to fix us? My husband wisely kept those conversations to himself while we were members there, because this knowledge would hurt me. I did fret when he told me, and finally accepted that nothing in our home was going to change. Sometimes we just have to let other people adjust their thinking instead, if they can.



No denomination owns my beliefs. That sounds critical, and maybe I require a refresher lesson in loving people, but this distinction explains what and how I believe. I have attended five different denominations to date, have Christian friends ( not exclusively!) and have years of bible study to list on the Christian Resume so many of us keep in our heads. Yet, differences remain amongst us in some less crucial beliefs. I was raised Catholic, and by age eight drank sacramental wine at every service. Yes, it was weak, but it was still wine. My girlfriend grew up attending the Southern Baptist church, and there learned never to drink alcohol. Our faith instructed us in diametrically opposed ways. The beliefs were benign, since neither instruction was actually wrong. This is why I avoid staying with a denominational view.

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This probably needs to be a separate piece. Whiskerface

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I left the Catholic Church, not for my own reasons, but because God had a plan for me to go elsewhere and learn something else. At the time, I was convinced the idea was mine. Yup, it's all about me. Over time new lessons came along and placed themselves in front of me, whether I wanted them there or not. "You want me to forgive this man? And LOVE him? Get real, God." "What's in this for me, anyway?" "I don't want to!" But I learned anyway. Bible reading became more important. Prayer mattered, and I now look at God a lot less as some kind of cosmic vending machine. But I learned a huge amount just by watching other Christians.

I began with a bible study, composed of women from various churches.We didn't talk about our churches, what the pastor thought about our assigned reading, anything open to interpretation, such as baptism. We weren't supposed to mention our churches at all, but simply read the scripture and answer questions.Oh,and we were fragrance free.

It was wonderful. I was home bound and the opportunity to leave my young children in a children's group while I talked to other women in an adult way thrilled me.