Bathtub Santa

Word count: 810

Bathtub Santa

Lying on the beach in Cuba, Santa Claus turns to his wife, Mrs Claus and says, "I have a great idea! You are gonna love this! This is something you couldn't do back home in the mountains."

Mrs Claus looks over at her husband, rolls her eyes, and says, "Just as long as you do not kill yourself like you almost did in Mexico. Remember when you thought you were going to replace Rudolph with a mechanical reindeer?"

"Yes. That was a poor first attempt. We are still working on the plans to improve that. You know Jingles my head elf is a genius at design. The fire was not part of the original idea. Things do not always work out as planned. I am always open to change in the moment."

"That is what I am afraid of. Santa please, be careful."

Getting up out of his beach chair he looks his wife right in the eye and says, "You have nothing to fear. I am not building anything this time. You will have to see this."

Shaking her head side to side, she watches her husband kicking sand behind him as he heads in an area with many trees. Continuing to watch the area and wonder what he is up to, she sees him dragging what looks like a bathtub. She sighs and touches the side of her face and mutters, "What is he up to with that old looking thing?"

Santa dragged the bathtub with an attached motor toward the water. Pushing the bathtub into the water he jumped in. Waving excitedly he yelled, "Honey! Isn't this great! Come see!"

Mrs Claus walks toward the ocean just cringing at the sight of her Santa. As she approached the water, she yells, "I still stand behind what I said earlier." Getting closer to the metal tub, she points and says, "Is that a motor attached to this metal heap?"

"Yes. Isn't it great?" Santa looks at Mrs Claus like a kid on Christmas morning. He walks toward the motor in the tub, bends over to start it. The noise cranks up and he looks at Mrs Claus and exclaims, "Whoohooo!! Watch this!"

The bathtub sped away like a bullet flying towards a target. As the tub hits the wave it bounces, up and down he goes. Watching this scene unfold before her, Mrs Claus holds her chest and says to herself, "He is going to flip this contraption and wring his neck."

The waves are pretty choppy today and the tub is so light Santa flies up in the air in an arc, then lands back on the foamy blue-green sea with a loud, "Whoooohoooo!! You have to try this!"

Santa decided he had enough fun for now so he directed the tub to go back to the shore. Instead of stopping he glided right past his wife and yelled, "The brakes are faulty!"

"Are you crazy? You did not test this contraption before taking it out?"

Coming back past his wife he bellows, "This is the test. Everything is good except one thing, the brakes." Going past his wife he circled around back to her again and said, "I am going to crash into that pole over yonder. Call Rudolph for a pick up."

Mrs Claus takes out her cell phone with an annoyed look on her face. Dialing home some answers, "Hello. North Pole."

"Hi, Jingles. This is Mrs Claus. How are things in the Pole?"

"Things are great Mrs. What has Santa done this time?"

"He is in a bathtub in the ocean behind our hotel and there are no brakes. He is attempting to crash into a pole in the middle of the ocean. Can you get Rudolph ready for another rescue mission?"

"Yes. Mrs. Right away."

"I have my locator device on and you cannot miss Santa. Thank you."

As Mrs Claus hung up, Santa smashed into the pole and he flew out of the tub and landed with the strap of his suspenders hanging off of the pole. Looking at Santa, Mrs Claus yells, "The rescue team is on the way! Just hang on!"

"Yes, well I can't do much of anything else at the moment." Santa answers hanging off of this pole.

After a bit of time past Santa hears a voice, "Did you call for a rescue?"

Santa looks up and saw his famous sled with Rudolph leading the reindeer crew for his rescue. "Thank you. Jingles get the tub we have to fix it. This was the perfect homemade boat."

Jingles looks over at the piece of dented metal and said, "It looks like it is beyond repair. I can make you a better one than this from scratch. Let's just get you and the Mrs back to the North Pole. Looks like your vacation is over."