Boy with a Coin

I had a prize once
It wasn't flashy or new--
It wasn't even permanent--
But it was mine

Even now, I remember it only for being
Everything I could've wanted
Without ever having to ask

It was warmer than a fire
In the heart of winter
And brighter than the sun
At its midday peak,

Like something plucked from the sky
And handed down
To shine in memory:

A star after my own heart
And twice as entitled;
A living dream,
And I never wanted to wake

I would've done anything for it
Because as long as it was mine
Forget the mountains-- I could move planets!

I could leap skyscrapers
Over a dozen streets,
Align the stars
To make a heartbeat

I could make the wind wake
A siren song,
Make the earth quake
For every dream gone wrong

And I did it all!

But it was never enough

See, I didn't realize at first,
As I never do,
That it was only temporary
And sooner or later
That dream would prove ephemeral

It didn't happen suddenly,
But when it did,
There was no fighting it

I watched it fade in my hands,
Utterly powerless
And increasingly enraged

I felt its heat leave with every breath,
And in what only seemed a few heartbeats
That dazzling light
Became a cold, unforgiving dark
Like a window
Into something I couldn't admit

If I had to describe that moment
In one word,
It would be "speechless"
Because never has such a tumultuous utterance
Been coined to describe it

And as I stared
At that fresh husk
Of would-be dreams,
I felt the weight of the world
Slide between my fingers
And fall away like ash

I had a prize once--
Not something I won at a carnival
Or picked out at a store--
But something real

She had red hair
And faint blue eyes
Like steel
That was just soft enough to mold

Though I'll probably never see her again,
I'm comfortable saying
That despite it all--
All the pain and heartache,
The uphills and the downs--
I'd do it again

Because for every lonely night
Spent wondering
How things could be different,
I remember two more
Of when they were

I remember holding the world in my arms
And dedicating each heartbeat
To a perfect harmony
That had nothing to do with the outside

I remember exploring it:
Every kiss bridging the imagined distances
Between one dream and the next;
Every intimate moment bringing down the sky
So we could walk in the stars

In hindsight,
We may have been burning a candle at both ends,
But we started a fire

And we let it burn through all logic and reason
Until the only logical reason for being
Was to feel the blaze

Who cared if we got burned?
Fires can't last forever

Eventually, they have to be snuffed out
So the fields can grow again
And a new fire can start

So I have no regrets
When I say,

I had a prize once,
And I let it go