"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
Larry shot his head up to stare, wide eyed, at his son across the
table. He stared for so long, he accidentally let's his cup of tea
overflow. The transparent brown water runs down his cup to his plate,
then on the glass table. Blinking, he shook his head back to reality
and slammed his kettle down. He couldn't look at his son right now.
He was too ashamed. The mess he made on the glass table felt like the
only thing in the world he was allowed to look at. Larry smacked his
lips, "Uhm."
Striker blinked his big and innocent blue eyes, waiting for an
answer.
"I..." distraction, distraction! "I--uh... need to
clean up this mess I made!" He sprints out of his chair and paced
to the kitchen to 'get some tissues'. "Clumsy me!"
Striker, of course, followed after him.
Larry felt beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. Striker felt
cold behind him, like an evil presence. He would love to tell his son
the Circle of Life, but Larry was expecting sometime after 5
years of age to do it. Say...20.
Striker stood there.
Waiting.
Larry's innocent little son who was still behind the wall
banning all the world's taboo information stood there.
Waiting.
Larry couldn't help himself to have a staring contest with the
paper towels in the pantry knowing the moment he turned around he
will have to answer The Forsaken Question.
"The paper towels are right there, Daddy."
Larry knows that.
He could see them right there too.
Larry knows.
Oh God.
Click.
The front door made its opening sound, a long and loud creak
everyone accompanying this house hated so much but loved because it
served as a nice warning of invaders. It also notified Larry of his
escape route.
"Ask your dad." He snatched the paper towels out of the
compartment and sprints through the opening next to it, forgetting
all together to close the cabinet. Rijak always found that annoying
of Larry because it was always up to him to close it, which was what
he did when he overheard Larry say that. Neat freak my booty.
"Ask me what?" He asked in an annoyed tone. He had an earful
of his boss's nagging while he drove home today and was in no mood
for life. He stripped off his jacket and hanged it on the hook near
the back door while Striker followed him. He couldn't control his
pissy mood around his son. "What?"
"Dad, where do babies come from?"
Rijak dropped the jacket before it could reach the hook. It
flopped on top of his fancy loafers, wrinkling up. Leisurely, for a
venomous effect, he peered through the door to the dining room and
glared at Larry, hard and cold.
"I'm sorry," Larry mouthed. He was hurriedly wiping his tea
off the table before the water evaporated and left the sugar behind.
He hates sticky tables. He shook his head, shook his head, "I'm
not ready, I'm not ready..."
Rijak slapped his dark face and glides it down to his mouth so he
could hide his sigh and curse words. That son of a batch of
cookies. He loves Larry to death, but just...sometimes
with that guy! I'm not ready either! He looked at his son
who looked at Rijak looking at him. Rijak bite his bottom lip and
sighed again, thinking of how to go about this. "Uhm," he started
looking at his son in the eyes. Those innocent eyes. They're too
innocent for words. "Baby, you see..." His mouth opened and
closed like a fish, looking for the right words. "Uh--uh--uhm."
One does not simply kiddify Sex Ed.
Striker stood there.
Waiting.
"When a man..." no no! He can't start that way. There's no
woman in this situation. "And a...man..." His brown eyes darted
at the dining room door again to see Larry giving him the
what-the-H-are-you-doing look. "...love each other very
much..." Using that line, he felt like his mom right now. He was so
frustrated whenever she took her time to say this topic, and now he
sees why. He saw himself in Striker a little, even though they are
100% nonidentical.
You know what, he has to learn someday, right? Better now
and from his parent than later and on the interweb, and he gets an
STI from curiosity! He's just going to say it how it is! "They go
into the bedroom, take off their clothes and--" goddarnnit those
eyes "--jump on the bed...?"
He could hear Larry slapping his forehead in the dining room.
Striker cocked his head to the side. "Is that what dad and daddy
do sometimes during bed time?"
Raijak thought his jaw was going to hit the floor. Larry was a
lobster with his mouth ajar in the other room. In the heat of the
moment, they figured, they totally subsided the noise issue. "Yes."
His tone was honest and straightforward.
"What's all that moaning you do while you're jumping on the
bed?"
Raijak felt like he was posing for the famous painting, Scream.
"It's--it's--it's uh--uhm--" He gave Larry the
help-me-out face which involved popped out eyes and a frown
with teeth.
Larry thought quickly. "It's part of the--uhm--birthing
ritual!" Larry tossed the damp tissue in the plastic bag hanging on
the top corner of a bottom cabinet and marched in to the rescue.
"It's called--" childhood memories "--Lemon!"
"Like the fruit?"
"Yes."
"Why lemon?"
Why did we call it lemon back then? That's a question for
later. "Oh it's something the scientist looked into or whatever.
I don't know." Don't pursuit, don't pursuit!
He didn't interrogate the matter any longer, but he did have a
follow up question in mind. "But you and daddy lemon all the time.
I don't have a baby brother or sister."
Rijak clapped his hands together and staring moving behind him.
"Well we're not done yet! There's more we have to do to get the
baby in the--uh--world!"
Striker stood there.
Waiting.
"After the daddies...lemon..." Of all that words! What does
that even mean? I love him to death but he's so random! "They..."
What to say next? Striker knows a man can't get pregnant, and Rijak
cursed himself for telling him so soon. "...go to the hospital..."
He remembered when his good sister, Trina, was in labor with Striker.
Both Larry and Rijak held him in their arms and watched the guy
crying his grey eyes out. It was the best day of their lives. While
none of his genes made Striker what he looks like now, Rijak was more
than happy to be his 'dad'. "And have a baby."
"What happens in the hospital? Where did I come from?"
"A kind little angel." Larry said smiling. He remembered that
time too, when Striker was born. He thought of the moment when they
both instantaneously said 'He looks like an angel' thinking he
was the best baby out of everyone else's. He couldn't think of
something this beautiful being the product of two human beings but
something out of this civilization's reach, somewhere from the
supernatural. "She brought you down from heaven and gave you to us
at the hospital. From then on we were your parents."
"Why don't you guys go to the hospital after you lemon all the
time?"
"Well we have that option to do that or not after we 'lemon'--"
"Then why lemon?"
"Cause it's fun," Rijak chipped in with a smirk. That much
wasn't a lie. "Very fun." Larry gave him a soft punch on
the shoulder with the intention for it to hurt. He never was good at
punches as a pacifist at birth and all.
The two beamed at each other letting the thought that they were
done sink in before Striker attacked them again. "What about
pregnant woman? Don't they babies inside them?"
"No." Larry spoke before he thought about it. Having in mind
that fact completely contradicts everything they just told him, he
did what was the first thing in his head and said no.
Rijak wanted to strangle this man! Why did he say no? We
could've had a different explanation for that in two seconds!
He was already prepared for that too with an elaborate and logical
explanation that will question the laws of the Circle of Life. One of
his best lies. He'll have to work with this.
"What is inside them then?"
Rijak crossed his arms over his chest. Larry's alone on this
one.
Larry could really use some gum! It helps him think. He
can't concentrate with all this limited time! He looked from
cabinet to cabinet thinking maybe an answer is in there somewhere. He
eyes fell on the can on sloppy joes sitting on top of the fridge like
it owns the place. Larry hates Rijak for liking that stuff. It leaves
such a huge mess wherever it's eaten. It serves no other purpose
than to be meat and fat.
Fat...
"Fat!" He thought out loud. His father crossed his mind, that
low life bum. He imitated him, bending his knees and making a
movement over his stomach with his hands like there was a round
invisible force field on it. "You know that big belly granddaddy
has?"
Striker nodded.
"That's what's in there. They're just...fat woman.
P-pregnant is just uuh slang term...used for fat woman. It's
just...such a big belly! A-a baby could fit in there! You know?" He
shrugged with a grin.
"So grandma is a pregnant woman too?"
'Grandma' is the mother on Rijak's side while 'Grandmommy'
is for Larry. Rijak never liked it when people called his mother fat.
In fact he gets very defensive. Larry knows this well and was already
pushing Rijak back by the chest. "No," Rijak said with a tone,
"she's not."
Striker was confused, but didn't question it. Instead he asked
something else in mind. "What about people with a daddy and
a mommy? How were they born?"
What a Pandora this kid is!
Striker stood there.
Waiting.
Not a problem. Rijak thought this would happen and was
planning to use his elaborate plan into action.
But of course.
Larry.
"Most of the time," Larry said with a sad face, "a man
doesn't love the other man as much as he thought he did and leaves
him for a woman." This was one of Larry's worst fears. It
happened to him during high school sometimes (if not all the time).
He's always sure it's going to happen again. "It looks better
to the public eye or whatever." He could hear the phrases echoing
in his head about girlfriends and parents approval. "The daddy
takes the baby with him and that's how you get a mommy and a
daddy."
"Why didn't daddy do that to dad?"
"Because daddy loves dad," Rijak kicked in again, knowing
where this lie originated from. He gave Larry a big, warm hug filled
with love and commitment. "Just like dad loves daddy." He takes
one arm away from Larry and extends it out to invite Striker in. "And
just like we love you."
Striker beamed and ran to be in the middle of the family sandwich.
Larry really appreciates moments like this with his husband and his
son.
He loves this big happy family they all built together.
"Can I lemon with you guys one day?"
"No." Both husbands said.
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