Even Diamonds Start As Coal

My life hasn't always been easy
I grew up accepting a different kind of reality,
And it wasn't until I was older
That I learned to question it

Kids don't understand what's going on
When their relatives always show up with pills or funny powders
Or when Dad has a beer in his hand
A little too often

All they know is that Mom and Dad love to sleep

Even when Dad moved out of the state
And Mom was always out with her friends,
I didn't mind
I just got to spend more time with Grandpa

Naivete only lasts so long

Sometime before my grandfather passed
And my father took his own life,
I realized
This wasn't normal

It also wasn't unique

As a great poet once said,
"I'm not the only kid who grew up this way"

Every day,
Kids are taught the definition of adversity
Through first-hand experience

They're learning that the deck
Isn't always stacked in their favor
And that while their intentions may reach to the heavens,
Their realities aren't far off from hell

They're learning that "danger"
Isn't exclusively from the unknown,
And some of the most dangerous things
Have the most familiar faces

They know how to internalize
And cry themselves to sleep
Because as long as they get the tears out while no one's watching
They can show a smile to the world

They deal with all the jokes
About their size and their baggy clothes
Because as long as the attention is on their weight,
No one sees the bruises

I'd love to look each of them in the eye
And tell them it gets better,
But the truth is
There are no guarantees

But I can tell them they're not alone

I know what it's like to wonder
What your mother's doing with a needle in the next room
Or why a noose
Was the only thing that could squeeze your father tighter
Than the bottle did while he was alive

I've played that balancing act
Between comfort and conformity;
I've tasted the ostracism at both ends,
And I'm still here!

Not everyone will see
The beauty in your imperfections
And not everyone will be happy
If yours aren't the same as theirs

But some will

Maybe you don't come from a wealthy family
Or even have one
Maybe no one's called you beautiful
But everyone has to start somewhere

And maybe you'll never have a fancy house
Or a shiny car
Maybe you'll never be considered a perfect person
But even diamonds are only valued for their flaws

I can't tell you things will get better
But I can say
That it's all part of the process
And whether you realize it yet or not,
We all go through it

Whether it's the pressure of impressing a parent
Or the pressure to conform,
We're all compressed by life's inequities
Until we've gone from soft lump
To hardened rock
To polished gem

And there's no timeline for it
There are no milestones to tell you
How many insults lie between you and your destination
No road map to reveal whether your next stop will be tragedy or travesty

The only way to know
Is to keep going

If, along the way,
You encounter an obstacle--
And I promise you will--
Don't panic

It's only there to make you stronger
It's there to make you grateful for when it's not

And if you think something is impassable
Or that the pain will never leave,
Remember that broken bones only heal stronger
And broken hearts only become more faceted

So keep your head high
And stay on the unbeaten path

It's only called that because it can be conquered