Hard to Explain

So here I am. In the midst of all this chaos just barely holding on to the last string of sanity. I feel scared, yet I'm not scared of anything. I feel alone, yet I'm surrounded by millions. I feel hated, yet so many love me. I feel dead, yet my beating heart proves I'm alive.
There is a feeling in my soul that I cannot describe. It knocks on my heart and messes with my brain. The sound of it thriving in my stomach makes me lose my humanity. Something switches every once in awhile. I'll see a car and I go down. My mind trying to remember something that just cannot be remembered. I sit here trying to find a trail of what these moments mean but nothing comes up. Sometimes though I feel it. I feel it come up my throat and eat my tongue, making me short of words. I feel it make its way past my mouth and straight to my brain, distracting my thoughts and killing my happiness.

So soon enough, all I’m left with is an empty soul and a full mind of threatening thoughts and horrid visions. I sit alone here. No one feels the same. No one has ever experienced these events before and instead of announcing it to people, I sit in the dark, alone. Scared of everything and everyone.