Creepy Doll

Word count: 395

Creepy Doll

The voices in my head will not stop. Voices talking all day while I am awake and voices talking in my sleep. I never get a break. Why is this happening to me? I suffer in silence where no one knows how deep the pain actually goes. Today I am being told, "Salaria, go get a knife and cut your brother."

I couldn't help it. Getting up from my chair, I walk down the stairs and enter the kitchen. I open a drawer and pick up a knife. Turning around I go back the way I came upstairs and instead of going to my brother's room, I go to my own room. I cut myself instead. For a little while the voices go away and I feel the pain instead. I would rather feel the pain than hear those voices.

When I am in this place I have been creating a doll. This is a reflection of the truth about how I feel. Every time I cut myself in the flesh, I replicate the cut on my doll. She has long black ebony hair and sad chocolate-black eyes. Lately, I have been cutting places on my doll that I have not actually cut on myself yet. I cut around the bottoms of both of my eyes because I do not want to see things anymore. I smear blood under my eyes just to see what it would look like. Sometimes I see things that are not there and when others find out they think it is strange. I do not know what to do to explain this to them.

I wondered the other day what it would be like to pull back some skin on my face and see what is underneath. I have used the internet to research this except it is not enough for me; I actually want to see the real thing. After doing this research on my doll, I made a cut starting on my forehead in a half moon shape ending underneath my left eye. I have considered doing this to myself except I do not want anyone to see me look like this, then they will think I have really lost it. My doll is good enough for now. When I look at her, I see myself. A reflection of my soul is being created in a lifeless object.