Galactic Yoga

I sat there in stunned silence.

"You are unfit".

The doc has just announced his decision in an unusual cold stone voice. As the depth of the medical report sank into my brain, I sat there quietly contemplating my future. The silence I experienced was similar to the silence I felt at ChaleLa many years later, the highest mountain pass between Paro and Haa in Bhutan.

Have you ever been to ChaleLa? Have you seen the night sky from there? I once did. And the in-charge who tracks our vehicle movements, curses me to this day for the trauma I subjected him to, that night. You see, we are not permitted to drive at night and that was a dampener on my plans to view ChaleLa night sky. I convinced the in-charge about my intentions and requested him to look the other way when I drive out late from Haa; planned to reach ChaleLa, which is the midpoint, after sunset and reach Paro an hour later.

My colleague and I drove out as per my plan. We had ragged edges of the mountain on one side and the unknown depths of the valley on the other, for company. We were travelling on a road rarely used by locals where, if you crossed more than three other vehicles, you negotiated lots of traffic; you met a crowd. It was nearing night fall as our Gypsy hugged the last upward curve prior to the 50 metre flat stretch at ChaleLa.

I told my colleague that I was cramping and that I need to stretch my legs. He was used to my idiosyncrasies - I always completed the two hour journey in three hours; photographing the wild flowers along the moutain side, bird spotting, listening to the distant sounds of cow bells through the clear mountain air and other such personal but not unimportant chores took the extra hour. He stopped the vehicle without hesitation.

I slowly walked around the table top area to prove to him that I actually needed some blood circulation in my legs. He quietly stood near the vehicle, lost in his own thoughts. The last rays of twilight had long disappeared and the nimble footed darkness spread its cloak far and wide rather quickly; the moonless night beckoned me to it's grandest mystery at an altitude of 4 km.

I gently requested my colleague to cut off the vehicle's lights and the engine. I didn't want any intruders to distract my physical senses; Hubble telescope in outer space and my risk management to watch ChaleLa night sky are based on the same simple reason. I took a deep breath of the chilly mountain air. Pure oxygen filled my lungs - refreshing and invigorating.

ChaleLa was dark, brooding and quiet. So quiet that your own breathing was loud and noisy. The night was beautiful, pitch black but beautiful.I whispered to my colleague to look up and tell me what he saw. His incoherent ramblings gave me the first hint of what was to come. "Lots of clouds, but there are lots of stars also, but Sir, I can see the stars through the clouds". Not clouds, Cosmic dust, definitely Cosmic dust, I assured myself. I still didn't look up. He was oblivious to my thoughts and actions and continued giving bits and pieces of information about the number of stars. I could sense the soulful strains of my inner voice urging me to meet the moment that I so lovingly nurtured in my bosom for a long time. Even the air around me, it appeared, was pregnant with expectation. It was time.

I took another deep breath and turned my gaze skywards.......

......... And I stood there in stunned silence.

I was humbled by the sheer intensity, the beauty, the variety, the diversity and the creativity of the cosmos and the creator. Words cannot describe the splendour nor can they give life to the awe inspiring spectacle.

A million, a billion, a trillion, a quadrillion or a decillion (10³³)? Or is it a googol (10¹⁰⁰)? Myriad stars dotted the sky interspread with cosmic dust; how do you count them? Where do you start and where do you stop? Where is the beginning and where is the ending? Till then, i had only seen our parent galaxy in photographs, but the live experience was beyond imagination - immeasurable in it's size and scope.

A tiny emotion rippled through my heart and transformed into a tear drop and left from the corner of my eye. The emotion soon swelled into a wave and I realized, I was crying. My ego was crushed to smitherenes as I melted into the moment. My body was numb but my senses were alive, alert and active. I felt my soul's quite whisper 'this is only a microcosmic part of the grand design, Arjuna saw much more in Krishña at the end of Bhagavat Gita discourse' - my brain jolted into activity. "Our solar system lies in one of the spiral arms of Milky Way and what i am watching is only the plane of our parent galaxy. Andromeda galaxy is our nearest neighbour and both are part of Local Group of Galaxies and there are probably thousands and millions of such galaxies or galactic clusters."

My brain tricked me into paralysis again, unable to fathom the sheer magnitude of the universe in terms of size, numbers, distances and speeds. The mind and the ego for once realised the futility of argument and reasoning. Logic and reasoning are for human beings and at the doorstep of the creator's playground you do not question, you do not reason - you simply surrender and I surrendered. Good God, "I'm just a magnificent speck of dust in this gigantic universe" a thought echoed in Calvin Hobbes comic strip raced across my brain. My lips moved in a silent prayer.

My colleague brought me back to my senses "Sir, are you OK? it's getting late.... They would have launched search teams by now". I looked at my watch. We had overstayed my planned halt by more than an hour and even my family will be worried now. More importantly, the tiger monitoring my move will have me for dinner after I reach Paro - on the phone of course. I looked up one last time and reluctantly pulled myself away to the Gypsy, which purred to life.

Except for the stunned silence, there was nothing common between the two events. If one event took me to great heights, the other event was throwing me into Marianne Trench. If you look a little more deeply though, it would be evident that silence - as in absence of sound - was common but the absence itself was caused by different emotions and reasons.

I created my own health, predominantly due to my lifestyle practices. On the other hand, I have no role to play in the creation of cosmos. I was intent on destroying myself with a 'two hoots to care' kind of attitude. The miniscule and the gigantic of the cosmos are testimony to the artwork of the unseen hand where creation and destruction are, but, two sides of the same coin like good and evil, like day and night.

I am a three dimensional human being with a sense of the fourth dimension and aspiring to reach higher dimensions. The unknown is the highest dimension, the goal to achieve.

Of course, I knew I was a disaster waiting to happen. But when reality hits you, it kind of stuns you into finding excuses and this moment was no exception. For starters, I smoked three packets a day at the work place. Weekends always ended up in binge drinking; not that I ever lost control. Work pressures and associated timelines left me no space to squeeze my waistlines. I weighed 87 kg, my bp readings were skyrocketing into outer space and my cholestrol ..... even the piece of paper on which the test report was written buried itself in the file, out of shame.

The year was 1998 and I was 31 years old. In my present condition, leave aside going on posting to Bhutan, I wouldn't even visit the country in my dreams.

My wife had gone home for delivery of our first child and the due date was another 20 days away. The doc has just read the riot act to me "do something in three months or else...". I dragged myself out of the hospital wondering about my next course of action. My boss accepted the news without any violent reaction. Probably, the doc had already briefed him on the telephone. By the time I reached the control tower after climbing 60 stairs, my knees were groaning - Yeah, this warning bell also was ringing for the last six months. I lit a cigarette. How do I get rid of this in three months? Many thoughts raced around my head and i was in a tizzy. I was sure of one thing though, either I kick the habit or the habit kicks the bucket for me.

Later on in the day, I informed two of my buddies about the medical and the doc's warning.

"Exercise"
"Cutdown on fried and oily food"
"Stop smoking - ok, don't stop suddenly, reduce gradually"
.
.
.
"Hey, did you ask the doc about his girth?" Peels of laughter followed as everyone imagined the tall but rolly polly doc and I drowned my sorrows in the ensuing mirth.

A week later came the news that my wife delivered a baby boy. I broke the news to my colleagues and proceeded on leave as per plan. By the time I reached Hyderabad it was late evening. The fact that I was on leave had probably reached all corners of my body. I felt tired and wanted to go home and sleep.

Suddenly, my eyes fell on a nondescript but familiar building which I crossed a million times since childhood but never bothered to enter. Banners always fluttered at the entrance announcing improvement in life style. I took a 'spur of the moment' decision and asked the auto driver to stop. I entered the premises of Gandhi Gyan Mandir, enquired about the courses and enrolled in a two hour 7am to 9am, yoga class, from the very next day for just Rs 300. In a country which does not value it's heritage, yoga classes are pretty cheap.

I started attending the classes and the instructors were politely ruthless. Every nook and corner of the body complained and groaned about the torture I was subjecting them to. 'Funny, very funny' I said, 'you guys never complained when I was pumping nicotine into the body'.

My persistence turned the loud protests into soft murmurs and by the beginning of third week my body made peace with the new regime. No water one hour before, during and one hour after the meals. Fruits for breakfast, chapaatis with limited rice, daal, vegetables during lunch and fruits with a chapaati at dinner; if you want to slash your weight, slash your intake. And never miss a deadline.

In the company of my wife, new born son and other family members, my leave soon came to an end. I returned home and had no intention of going back to my little hell. Old habits - kick the butt and - die hard. Would i ever hold the dead end of a cigarette in my fingers again?

Despite the added pressures of parenthood, I had to find a way to remain loyal to the two hour yoga schedule. I discovered peace and tranquility at 0400 - no disturbance from work and no disturbance from household chores. This routine continued for another two months.

I returned to the hospital for my medical check up. I was confident, supremely confident that the doc wouldn't find anything in his reports to implement his warning. I haven't felt the urge to smoke even at work place and that was the barometer for my confidence.

The doc made me undergo three blood tests as he was unhappy with the results. He was sure that the blood samples were contaminated. He checked my weight on different machines - including his favourite machine, probably he checks his weight on it - to make sure there was no mistake. While checking my bp he yelled at his staff for bringing faulty equipment.

Finally, he called me for the ECG check up. I closed my eyes and relaxed my body in the manner yoga taught me. After a few minutes I could hear the doc shouting 'who kept this unserviceable machine here? Get me the other machine'. I smiled inwardly. Neither of us is going to forget this medical for a long long time.

I could feel his hands adjusting the position of various wires and applying jelly to different parts of my body. 'A few more minutes and the medical would be complete' he said. I simply nodded without breaking my rhythmic breathing.

'What are you doing?' he suddenly asked. I said, 'nothing'.

'No, no right now what are you doing? Are you maintaining a posture? What is this posture?' he continued.

'Shavasan', I replied with my eyes still closed.

'What did you do for the last three months?'

"YOGA".

My weight had dropped from 87 to 72 kg, my bp couldn't attain the required escape velocity and fell into mother earth's loving embrace and my cholestrol was way below in the valley in comparison to the permitted peak.

'You should have told me earlier' was all the doc would say. I nodded in agreement, smiled, shook hands, saluted and left his office. Ten minutes later I was out of the hospital with my medical category restored. Yoga taught me, rather well.


Charan