What I have

What I have



         I never had much growing up as a child, now that I am an adult I want to give my child more than I could have ever imagined. I am by no means a millionaire, I am considered lower class and live pay check by pay check. My boyfriend left me after promising me we would be married. He doesn't work so there is no child support either. So, I cannot give my child much, just like I always had. She doesn't seem to mind, she plays with the simplest things. The other day I gave her some Popsicle sticks and an empty pop bottle, she played for hours, using her imagination to it's fullest extent.

         It upsets me, to see her with the same pair of shoes until they hurt her feet because they are too tight. She has the same clothes that I patch or sew or even modify to try and save them from the wear and tear of everyday life. She doesn't complain.

         The holidays are quickly approaching, which means more money than I have needs to be spent. We celebrate Thanksgiving every year, I make it a point too set out table and have mashed potatoes, corn, turkey and at least one desert. She seems to be content with that.

         Christmas is worse of course, she gets five items, which is more then some kids in her school I guess. I have never seen a child so excited to get shoes, new clothes, and one or two toys for the gift giving holiday. "It's Jesus' birthday anyway Mom," She tells me "He should be getting gifts."

         I sigh as I reach for a small turkey in the frozen food section. Maybe I will add a side or two this year, but then again, it's just the two of us. I finish my shopping and head to the front of the store, there are little red buckets to put change in for the poor. We received some funds from those buckets before. Someone knew we were poor, that we didn't have much. I was embarrassed of course, but thankful.

         I slide a couple of coins in the bucket, maybe I can help cheer someone else up this year.

         I walked home, I walk everywhere but I enjoy the time to myself. My mother stays with my daughter while I work and shop. She is my savior, because she is there, the same situation as myself. We do all we can to help each other, that's what family is for.

         I arrive home, to my upstairs apartment where I don't have a flat screen t.v. or a long sectional sofa. What I do have is more important, my child, my mother, my health. For these things I am grateful, and I thank God everyday for what I have.