Ruin

I walk through the cold winter rain looking for the thing I lost. Could I have left it on the table, beside the bed, in the laundry room? Perhaps it will surface in the car or on the counter. It must be found! This thing will put my life in jeopardy if it does not show itself. My hands are cold and wet, I hide them from the elements and others. I can feel the cold rain run down my face. Why are is she looking at me? Is it my wet clothes or perhaps it's my red shirt. Wait... Red shirt? I left the house in a white shirt. I need to sit down; why are my hands red. Is that blood, am I hurt? I don't feel any pain on my chest or arms. It's coming from my head. Why is everything spinning... Why am I here? What was I doing? Why am I bleeding? What? I can't remember... Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. I was looking for my phone, not my phone... What was I looking for? It was in the kitchen... The drawer... He was after me. Run...get away... Protect. I grabbed a cleaver, I hit him. I kicked him, I bit him... I pushed him down. I climbed on top of him... I hacked at him with the cleaver. I couldn't stop, the anger, the fear... The hate controlled my actions. I wanted to hurt him, I couldn't stop... I didn't  want to stop. I kept hacking at him with all of my pain and anger. I wanted his heart to stop and it did... I felt someone yank me off of the mutilated corpse. I was yanked so hard the I stumbled back and slipped on the lake of blood. I got my head on the corner of the marble counter. It didn't hurt at the time but now as the adrenaline is wearing off. I reached for the back of my head to examine the pain. I rant hand down the back of my head and I could feel the jagged edge off skull. I felt in the hole and I could feel mush or what I thought was mush... It was my brain! I collapsed to the ground and I lost consciousness. I could hear people talking and whispering, sirens blared, tires screeched and the screaming. Why was there screaming? I heard someone say, "his brain fell out when he fell." The sounds slowly faded, bits and pieces flashed in my still attached mind. I was looking for the picture my son drew for me. I was going to hang it in my office, it was very important to him that I hang it behind my desk so its the fort thing other saw when the walked in my office. I didn't want to disappoint him. I walked into his room and I saw a man standing over him. The man looked at me and started towards me. I ran to the kitchen looking for something to protect myself, the man ran toward me. I hacked and slashed and knocked him to the ground. For a split second I caught glimpse of my attacker. He resembled my brother... But he was over seas and wasn't scheduled to return for another year. That brief moment didn't last long as I kept hacking away at this poor man. As I lay there unconscious in the rain, I hear Someone whisper, that guy just killed his brother who returns home early from over seas. He was going to surprise him on his birthday. That's right today was my birthday but it was also the day of my ruin. If I live, I still killed my brother....