Adapt part 1

I've always been a good actor. Not the kind that goes on stage and performs a monologue or scene that will melt the hearts and souls of those watching. I'm the kind that people don't see as an actor. I'm the kind that acts like something I'm not everyday and in everything I do.

There are many types of people that fit into my category of acting. Serial killers tend to be like me in that way, but their work is too messy. Victims of awful tragedies also wear this same curse. No matter what the reason, all of these actors have a common element. They all have something to hide. For me I've never hidden from people for my sake like some of my colleagues. I honestly wouldn't really mind if the whole world knew, but I doubt that would go well for them.

Not that I'm one of those "end of the world" types. I'm just too lazy to deal with the fallout. I guess I'm even too lazy to say it here. I've always been one to avoid things. Whenever a problem comes I'm always just ablee to adapt and avoid the truth because truth binds you to being something and I have commitment issues.

I've always thought that I have a good excuse to be bad at commitment though. It's always been just me. She was once there, but that didn't stick. Finally find someone to guide you and they die. Everything dies.

But honestly, if we get down to it, what is death? For me it has always been a new opportunity. Call me sick for it, but life goes on for the living. All this worrying about death kills people.

When it gets down to it, maybe I'm not the actor. At least I know who I am and what role I'm playing. I guess the real professionals are those that are completely clueless of what they do and who they are. Foolishness is the key to life. If you can master that skill, you will become the happiest and most comfortable person in the world.

But what do I know? I'm young. At 20 I'm not exactly old enough to be wise but I'm too old to be stupid. I'm definitely at a disadvantage, but hey, at least I can vote. I think. I've never really tried. I've always been too lazy to try for something like that. I'd rather just focus on living. I'm currently between jobs and by that I mean that my time is more valuable than anything people are willing to pay. Jobs are boring, and I refuse to waste time. Time might be money to some, but to me, time is fun.