The Beard Pet

(Derek's point of view)

Derek walked out the back door of the Dunkin Donuts. It was his first day on the job, and the morning rush had been hectic. He carried two bags of trash to the dumpster, the back of which would provide a nice place for a quick smoke break. He leaned up against the cinderblock wall that provided coverage for the dumpster, and removed a pack of Newport's from his pocket. He opened the pack of Newport's, and as he fished one out he couldn't believe what he saw. There, hanging on to the filter of one of his cigarettes was his manager from his old job, Mike.

"Holy shit dude..."

Derek slowly brought the cigarette up to his face for a closer look. His tiny, nude ex-boss was wrapped around the filter, which was bigger than the tiny man's entire body.

"Bro... how the hell... you're not even an inch tall... what happened?"

Derek watched as the tiny man began to speak, but it was so soft Derek could not hear it.

"You're gonna have to try to speak up man, I can barely hear you."

"Is this better?" The tiny man yelled up at Derek.

"Yeah man. Shit dude, what happened?"

The other night at work, a couple of days after you quit, I was taking out a bag of trash. I tossed it into the dumpster, and all of a sudden everything I was dark. I was naked, and I felt like I was under a huge blanket. I made my way out from under the blanket to realize I was actually inside of my own shirt - I had shrank this small! It took what felt like an hour to make my way back to the store. Megan was outside, talking to you on the phone. I tried to get her attention, but couldn't. Her cigarette pack was laying on the curb, open, so I climbed in, hoping she'd find me. I guess you ended up with the cigarettes."

"Oh yeah dude, we broke up... she left these at my house, and I wasn't going to waste them. Holy shit man. So how do you get back to your normal size?"

"I have no idea. You have to help me."

"How man? What can I do?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Okay, dude, I will help you. But right now I have to work. I don't think I can bust in and tell them I found a man who's half an inch tall and..."

Derek was interrupted by another employee taking out more trash. He quickly put the cigarette into his mouth, trapping Mike between the filter and his lips.

"Hey man," Derek told his co-worker, "I'm gonna smoke this cig and I'll be back inside."

As the employee walked away, Derek lit his cigarette. He inhaled, and removed the cigarette from his mouth with Mike still hanging on. He looked down at the tiny man on the cigarette filter. He couldn't explain it, but he really liked seeing Mike so tiny. He brought the cigarette back to his lips, and allowed it to dangle from his mouth. He could feel the tiny man struggling to move between his lower lip and the filter, which provided an interesting sensation he'd never felt before. Derek took a final drag from the cigarette, removing it from his mouth. He slowly pulled Mike off of the filter with his thumb and forefinger before flicking the cigarette into the dumpster.

"Dude, I'm gonna figure out how to help you. But for now, I have to get back to work."

Derek thought for a minute about where to keep his tiny captive, and quickly figure it out. He placed the tiny man deep into his large, bushy, blonde beard. He could feel Mike struggling to move in the coarse hair as he walked back into the Dunkin' Donuts.

(Mike's point of view)

Mike couldn't believe what was happening. He was tiny and naked, and after spending a day in a cigarette pack, he was now in his former employee's beard. He kept trying to move, but couldn't get any traction in the coarse, thick hairs. He could hear Derek talking to other employees, mostly female, about various aspects of the job, personal information, and what they liked to do for fun. He almost expected him to blurt out, at any time, "oh, by the way, I have a man in my beard."

After what felt like an eternity, Mike heard someone, presumably the manager, ask Derek to take the trash out. After a few minutes, he heard a door slam, and could hear the sound of the trash can rolling on the asphalt. A few minutes later he saw Derek's gigantic thumb and forefinger enter the beard, and felt them wrap around his body.

(Derek's point of view)

Derek tossed the trash in the dumpster, and pulled out his pack of Newports. He took one out, placed it in his mouth, and lit it. He then reached into his beard and fished out his tiny captive. Derek looked at the tiny man in his fingertips. Even though the situation was incredibly unbelievable, he couldn't help but think how much he enjoyed holding the tiny man.

"Dude, I've thought about it, and I think the best way I can help you is to keep you."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Well, at your size you definitely can't fend for yourself. And who could help you? Who would even believe me when I tried to explain I found my manager from my old job in my pack of cigarettes?"

Derek took a drag off of his Newport. He looked at the tiny man in his hands, and had the urge to blow smoke on him. He slowly exhaled a thick cloud of smoke on Mike. He could see the little man coughing.

"I can keep you in my beard. It's safe there. Plus I'll always have company on my smoke breaks."

Before Mike could object, Derek placed him on the filter of his cigarette, and stuck it into his mouth. Derek let the cigarette dangle, again enjoying the feeling of the tiny man squirm between his lip and the cigarette. He continued the rest of his smoke break without saying a word to Mike, just leaving him on the cigarette. Once he finished, he placed Mike back into his thick beard, and went back to work.

(Mike's point of view)

Mike again tried to move around in the dense beard prison, but to no avail. He had to agree with Derek on one point, he was definitely safe in the beard. It was warm, and was awkwardly pleasant. The smoking thing was weird - but it was actually something Mike had thought about, being small and on a cigarette. He almost started to wonder if he hadn't subconsciously climbed into Megan's pack of cigarettes hoping that she'd do the same thing Derek had. It was a little awkward that it was a man, but Mike also realized he was in no place to object. Mike spent the next few hours thinking of what the future might hold.

(Derek's point of view)

Derek started the last part of his shift thinking about the fact there was a tiny man in his beard, but as he continued to work, he was able to focus more on his duties, only reminded of the tiny man when Mike would try to move around. Derek's shift ended a couple of hours later. He clocked out, and headed out to his car behind the store.