Six of Seven

Dear Diary,

Yesterday, in Sunday School, we learned about the seven deadly sins. First, I impressed my teacher by being the only person in the class who could recite them from memory.

But then, the teacher said, "you know, Marcie, it's not just being able to memorize them. The more important thing is being able to use them in your life."

That made sense, so I made a resolution. I would look everywhere for people committing the seven deadly sins and whenever I saw one of them, I would tell the person.

I didn't have to wait very long either. After Sunday School that day, Dad decided to try and fix the stairs. He must have hit himself with his hammer, because he started jumping around swearing and using the Lord's name in vain. So, I said to him, "Dad, you shouldn't do that. Right now, you're committing anger or wrath and that's one of the seven deadly sins."

Well, he stopped shouting and gave me a long look, but then he said, "You're right, Marcie. I'll try not to do that again." And I felt pretty good. God must love me so much.

The next day at school, I had lunch with my friend, Sally. Sally doesn't go to church and it turned out she had spent Sunday at the mall.

"Isn't this new skirt adorable?" she asked. "I wanted to buy another one, too, but I didn't have enough money and when I asked my mother, she told me I had enough things already. Doesn't that suck? I wish I had a lot more money, so that I could buy everything I want."

That's when I saw another opportunity. "Sally, you are committing greed. And greed is one of the seven deadly sins."

Sally looked uncomfortable. "I didn't think of it that way."

"Well," I said brightly, "now you know."

Then, we heard a boy let out an obnoxious whistle and say, "Sexy!"

I was a little stunned. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah," said Sally smiling again, "It's probably this skirt."

Well, she may have been okay with it, but I wasn't. I walked right over to that table where the boys were and said. "Do you know what you just did."

"What?" said one of the boys rolling his eyes.

"You committed lust and lust is one of the seven deadly sins."

"Whooah," said another boy. "That sounds serious."

"She's probably just jealous that nobody talks to her that way," said a third.

Everyone laughed except me.

"What's going on here?" said a voice. It was Mr. Jennings, the principal, no less coming towards the table.

"This girl's harassing us," said one of the boys.

Now Mr. Jennings knows me. After all, I'm one of the best students in the school. He looked at the boys. Then, he looked at me and said, "Let's get away from here, Marcie."

As he was leading me away from the table, I saw that he had just got a slice of pizza from the school cafeteria. "You know, " I said, "You probably shouldn't eat so much. You're getting fat."

He looked at me astonished. "Marcie, I suppose--"

"You're committing gluttony and gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. You should eat healthy organic food like me."

"Thank you, Marcie," he said quietly.

Then after school, I went home and that's where my older brother, Sean, comes into it. Sean actually committed two of the deadly sins. I guess that figures with him.

First, I saw him in front of the T.V. set and my mother telling him, "Sean, don't you have homework to do?"

"In a minute," he said.

"Not, 'in a minute'," said my mother. "Now."

"Oh Ma."

Then I took action. "Sean, you're committing sloth."

"What the hell is sloth?"

"It means laziness. And it's one of the seven deadly sins."

After Sean left for his room, my mother said, "Er. . .thank you, Marcie. That was helpful, I guess."

But a few minutes later, came the best part of the story. You see, I realized something interesting. I was actually the victim of another deadly sin. So I went straight to Sean's room.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want to tell you that I think I know why you act the way you do."

"Huh?"

"Yes, you envy me."

"Envy you?"

"Yes. I do better school and I'm more accomplished, so I can understand it, but I you should know that envy is one of the seven deadly sins."

"Get out now!"

Well, that was that. So, let's see, I have corrected people guilty of anger, greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, and envy. That's six of the seven deadly sins.

I wonder if I'll see someone committing the seventh.