Vice of beau

         “SORRY!”-No reply was rendered for the room was void of noise and vitality. Obscurity shrouded the room leaving my imagination barbaric and fervent. The spasmodic wheezes slowly halted and the disorientation vanished as quickly as it came. The chilling cold sweat dripped from my brow to our lavender silk bedding. My left arm heavily clinched the silk so tightly as if there was another. Grabbing the worn rag from the draw of the wooden night stand, I wipe my forehead trying to gather my composure.  “Was it real?” Abruptly questioning my sanity, I desperately reached for the glass of tepid wine and indulged briskly. Reality set in ultimately; I was in our bedroom, alone, so alone. I made my way to an unkempt bathroom attempting to freshen up. For I was persuaded to a gala hosted by a good friend; and now being a man of my word, I must oblige. The water splashed upon this frail shell of a body cleansing it of all impurities and influences of this world; and yet…..I was still tainted. The mist dispersed and I walked out tossing my dirty clothes upon a pile of soiled rags. I dressed in stiff garments and polished footwear as if I was born of blue blood. Fiddling with my collar, I iterated to myself, “I can do this!” But the collar clutched my gullet with such force, restricting my air flow. Anxiety snatched my heart with its piercing claws, and twisted and turned my insides. I stumbled back and bumped into a dusty bureau rattling a lamp. The shaken lamp scattered its rays of light across our room racing back and forth; but one ray seem to dance quite vividly on a dusty gold frame as if it wanted to wave down my attention. So mesmerized by the light’s frolic, I held the dirty old portrait wiped aside the dust and glazed deeply……..There was a young beauty. Radiant, ravishing, - clearly she was NOT meant for mere mortals but rather crafted for Jehovah himself; but it was something more.  This woman’s beauty didn’t just project from the physical-but within also…like a warm aura from a lantern. Alongside of her though, stood a fierce beast; the creature appeared dark, soulless, and evil in its intents. Odd-the two obviously did not match! This creature’s eyes held lust and his brother, envy and yet……..she looked so happy?! Perplexing as this was, my attention was drawn to an inscription on the lower half of the frame. It read, “Love cannot be---.” “BEEP, BEEP!” A honking car dissolved my envisagement so I return the portrait to our bureau and rushed out the door!

            The eleventh hour had past-I arrived late though no different than any other time. I raced towards the entrance in hopes that the festivities had waited upon my arrival. As I drew closer and closer to the doors, my heartbeat grew louder and louder whilst slamming against inner walls of my chest! Was a heart attack eminent?! I paused, gently inhale, and released a stern bellow from the diaphragm; then trudged through the entrance like a captive awaiting execution. Luminescent lights, melodious music, surreal scenery welcomed my feeble senses. This place housed the most noble of guest and attendants with the highest level of demure. This hotel was extravagant- hardwood floors, marbles counters, rugs and chairs of the finest animal hide, a balcony towering over enclose with refine gold gates, and a orchestra grand enough to satisfy an emperor’s zest. This was too glorious, awestricken, humbling to us middle class barely making ends meet.  “Ah, I see you finally made it.” It was my good friend. I firmly grasp his hand showing the highest amount of respect.

Smile seeping from my lips I blurted, “You’re quite the host my friend.”

With a devilishly smirk he replied, “Like any other man, I hunger for the treasures of this world.” “Power, wealth, women- all these things are within my mighty grasp.”

“…..Some people never change.” “For all men do not seek the same possessions.”

“Come on-look around, you can’t tell me this lifestyle isn’t appeasing.”

“For some…perhaps but I am different.”

Yea, I’m sure, he replied with a disbelieving look. “Pardon me; I must take care of something.” He scurried up the balcony; and there she was! Angelic really, the pinnacle of desire lies on the golden gates of the balcony. As she descended down, the lust in the men’s eye increased severely. Passions grew, for her supple breast and slender longs were wrapped by an ivory white dress. Her eyes- her blissful blue eyes made the deepest of oceans dull. A man could drown happily in those depths. The most esteemed nobleman to the lowliest attendant and everyone in between froze within her presence-Enchantress they cried for even the strongest of men bow to her beauty. How could they not-for they were mere mortals! The allure beseech-ed every gentleman to request a dance from the goddess; yet she declined the generous offers. She sought the diamond in the rough, the needle in the haystack, a man more rare than the spear of destiny! The enlighten man-a rare specimen improbable to attain-improbable not impossible. As I witness the fall of mankind, I remind true. She approached, for eye contact was made between the goddess and me. She requested a dance; so compelled, I accepted. The music transformed our surrounding to an isolated island where our passions intertwined. It was endearing-NO heavenly to the senses. We spun and twirled with each note sprung from the band. Sexy, Seductive I thought as my hand embraced the contours of her figure. “Let us leave this place and cater to nature’s appetite,” she whispered with her bewitched eyes. Unaffected, I gracefully decline with a gently shake of the head. She smiled and said, “You’re different-you’re not like any other guy are you?” “You are the enlighten man.” Staring deep into the oceans I replied, “No, I’m not…..I’m merely a man whose learned.” I placed a tender kiss on her frontal lobe and released her hands from my shoulders. As I turned and moseyed towards the exit I replied, “Thank you for the dance.” The doors quietly closed behind me and I drifted into the night.

“HEY….!” “I’m talking to you!” It was my good friend with agitated tone to his face.

“What is it”, I calmly asked?

With his eyebrows furrowed, he exclaimed, “What-WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!?” “Here you were with the aspirations of men and……..and you just leave?” “Can you comprehend…..like really fathom what a man would give to be with her?”

“Fate is cruel in his dealings.”

“Don’t give me that philosophical BULLSHIT!” “It’s me…..talk to me?”

With a harsh sigh, I lowered my head and remained silent; but his eyes were so piercing-he saw through my soul itself. 

“Ah…..so that’s it.” “It’s been ten years………LET HER GO!” he implored!

“I CAN’T DAMMIT…….I just can’t.” “……I was a man lacking morals- envy and lust ate at my soul’ leaving corruption to bear its ugly mug.”  “He spared no one; corruption left nothing to my name.” “And now……now this brittle body is left with hope.” “It’s not much…..but it’s enough for me.”

“Give up, it’s over.” “Why are you so adamant about this?” “What you had is lost…..”

Tears trickling down, I shrieked fiercely, “no, you’re wrong.”“Love cannot be lost, just forgotten!”