I'm not an alcoholic...

I'm not an alcoholic only have a glass or two,
How can you think I'm *bevvied when I've only had a few,
I'm up at five each morning and no demons there do lurk,
How many *alccies d'you know get up everyday and work?
I'm not an wlcoholic I'm as sober as they come,
That wasnt me you just seen drink that much her brain went numb,
I can walk in straight lines all day it's a plain and simple task,
And if you don't believe me all you have to do is ask,
I'm not an alcoholic drinking just helps time to pass,
Won't find me seeking out salvation at the bottom of a glass,
I'm totally in control and id I choose to I can stop,
That isn't brandy on my breath I've hardley touched a drop,
I'm not an alcoholic don't pull shady sly ass tricks,
And did I mention never have a drink til after six,
'N' what if I've got cirrhosis and the jaundice just won't budge,
What do ya mean 'I'm staggering?' I'm as sober as a judge,
So I'm not an alcoholic but if I did now stand trial,
You would maybe find me guilty of the charges of denial.

*bevvied...slang word for being drunk.
*alccies...slang term for an alcoholic