Forced to face my own abusive tendencies and the guilt before seeing my children again |
Eyes closed
I stand at the edge of the crevasse; A chill wind blows from it's icy bowels; A hot sun warms the back of my hair. Eyes closed I step forward, my foot falling into emptiness; A chill wind freezes the fear in my heart; The warmth of the sun disappears. Eyes closed I frantically grab for that which will slow my fall; The frozen depths offer nothing to ease my passage; The sun shines not into these depths. Eyes closed I cry out as I hit a slope, bounce, and slide not gently, to an icy bottom; A faint far away speck of light I see dimly above. Eyes opened In panic to witness the depths to which I have fallen; A cold darkness, empty but for sound forbidding, welcomes; The warmth from above stabs briefly downward but fades, unfelt. Eyes opened I can hear their fear full cries in my frozen memories; My selfish cries are quieted to stunned silence; Within a ray of light entices and thaws my inaction. Eyes open I begin to climb from the frozen anguish of my life; Old habits numb my efforts and slow my progress; But the sun entices with rays of caring warmth. With eyes opened I have a long and difficult climb Facing and owning my guilt and losses and letting go anger Before I reach again a promised warmth Of another sunny hillside Originally written: August 1990 Revised: 14 July 2001 to view more: "Invalid Item" |