An Otherwise Ordinary Day

“Yeah, Puppy. Jack, here.”

“My name’s Harry, you jerk.”

“Get over it. I’ve got a bitch in a black car tailing me.”

“Get rid of her.”

“You’re a big help. I’m going to pull off. If she is still on me, we got trouble.”

“Where are you?”

“The off ramp at Broadway.”

“Figure out how to lose her. Call me back when you are clear.”

I looked in the rearview, and she was following me onto the off ramp. I drop my eyes from the mirror just in time to slam on the brakes. The traffic light changed to red so fast, I almost rear-ended that car in front of me.

That crazy lady in the black car is so irritating. She keeps inching up on my bumper. She needs a lesson. I slam the car into park, and extract myself from my vehicle. I kept my eyes on the dame while I popped the trunk, and I move slowly just to watch her shake. I smiled knowingly as her window rolled shut drowning out the last bit of Uncle Cracker singing Drift Away. I watched her trying to be nonchalant as she picked up a drink from a fast food restaurant and laughed to myself as the straw hit her fleshy cheeks and the tip of her nose before reaching her mouth. She looked quite silly sucking down big gulps too fast and then sputtering causing the brown liquid to trickle down her double chins.

I chuckled to myself as I turned my back on her to lift the lid of the trunk. I thought I only had my gym bag in the trunk, but it looked like Puppy left his hunting knife in there. It would not be wise to be caught with either in the front seat with me, but I had to lose this nosey woman.

I back up to the front door of my car, and I am watching this woman closely. I can smell her fear. I leaned in my car and tossed the bag to the other seat. I turned back and slapped the sheathed blade of the hunting knife across my palm before getting back in the car. I saw the sweat forming on her brow. I will take my time moving off the now green light, daring her to push me. She is not as dumb as she looks, she is waiting patiently. I slam my Lexus into gear and speed through the green light and easily lose her in the city street traffic. She let a few cars get between us. She is no longer interested in following me to my “appointment.”

I grabbed the cell again. “Yeah, Puppy, Jack again. You got your stuff ready?”

“Yeah, Jerk. You?”

I laughed softly. “I took care of it. Let’s just say she probably pissed herself.”

I am not particularly funny, but Harry finds my methods of intimidating people quite entertaining. We share a good laugh together as I delivered the highlights of the encounter until I deliver the punch line.

“It turn out she's your upstairs neighbor. You know what to do next.”

The laughter stopped as Harry shouted,“What!?”

“I was in public. What did you want me to do?”

“Just an ordinary day, you said. No one will get hurt, you said. I can’t ….Mary? Not Mary. Come on.”

Harry could be so dense. I strain my vocal chords, “She can ID me, man! She could screw up everything. Get your whiney ass over there and shut her up! You know what to do. She’ll be there in about 20 minutes if she does not make any stops. You’ve got that much time to figure it out. Am I clear?” When I got no response, I repeated softly and firmly, “Harry? Am I clear?”

I could hear the hesitation in his voice as he said, “Yeah, yeah….I’ll take care of it.”



[Word count: 656]



Winner 2/3/2015 "Weekly Writings Contest"  Weekly Writing Contest